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Constantine Jan 2021
i cry
andcry
andcry
andcry
andcry
andcry
andcry


how do you move on and im still crying
Constantine Jan 2021
i guess i'm selfish but you are too
i remember you asked if we could just run away together
with tears in your eyes you wished we could run away and never look back
i want that more than anything right now
its like wishing magic was real
because it will never happen
not in this universe or the next one
i cry over her still and its been so long
how many years until i dont wince at the sound of her name
why cant we just be in my room again
Constantine Jan 2021
you know
nobody wants to do drugs
maybe junkies
but then we are all junkies aren't we
so many drug users feel like their less than human
myself included
i feel like i am the enemy of society
push me under the decrepit buildings and never look back
i'm a monster with the look of a skeleton
this cant be right
we have to treat people better than this
we are all running from trauma from childhood
maybe later in life
who knows
we all have demons
the key to recovery is not cold turkey
it is
understanding of past traumas
coming to peace with them
learning to live with them
bringing old demons up to play and fighting them until their nothing
you have to want to get better
until you want to get better
you will stay where you are
this is random but if u like depressing music, MeatComputer: Soundtrack 2 the end of a world was just re-released on youtube.
Constantine Jan 2021
The dark circles under my eyes dissuade most from looking my way
i look as if i am on dope
not yet

do not like to talk to people because nobody understands me
the circles under my eyes aren't from sleepless nights
maybe they are
i don't know anymore
days blend together
i don't use my vocal chords for days at a time
when i try to speak it hurts
can we just sit here in silence while i nod off?
Constantine Jan 2021
i felt safe for a long time
maybe it was like having a net under you when your doing trapeze
no fear of falling
comforting to know someone would be there to catch me
if i happen to fall
if i hit the ground
someone would be there to hold me
make the pain go away

that person has to be myself
19 years and that's one thing i learned for sure
i have to be there for myself
nobody else is stuck with me but myself
we talked about nothing like blah blah blah....
Constantine Jan 2021
i wanna be mad at you
i wanna hate everything about you
but you are only human
and humans live for pleasure
selfish pleasures
i understand human nature, so i understand you
Constantine Dec 2020
tomorrow my brain might hurt
come downs ****
but the ups are so worth it
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