these feelings are making a comeback
what do i do when they come back?
dramatized in my own head
but what would they be instead?

the question is a constant as a lose *****
gripping to the fragments of my brain
could it be what He is telling me to do?
seems like i might be going insane

i really need to get a grip
or the grip needs to let go of me

the first of the year
things don’t feel too different
but i am still here

the first of the month
things are beginning
what should i first confront

the first of the week
yet i am unsure
what is it that i seek

the first of next year
full circle
wonder if i’ll defeat this fear

you want to feel joy
but it’s kind of disintegrated
you want to relate
but your soul is deflated

numb to all
even familiar places
you once felt safe
before these spaces

will you ever be free?
it all seems jaded
when will you see
all the happiness you traded

do you feel that weight?
it pulls you down
like it's fate

do you feel those tears?
they pour quickly
but do not wash away your fears

do you feel the void?
it stays consistant
with the dreams you avoid

breathe, my dear
stay up
as long as you wish
we don't want the heavy
to stay here
so breathe, my dear
take in the world you missed

twisting and turning
i am pulled in every direction
but mine

expectations stacked
higher than mountains
unable to climb

"no breaking allowed"
is the rule for me
but i might, sometime

a distant dream
but vivid in my mind
long and winding
roads filled with purpose
but nothing to worry about
you by my side
your presence makes me
safe
a simpler life is ahead
the road is just ahead

blurry
is my future
foggy
is my brain
but the way i see you
crystal clear

paralyzed
inside my own head
what value is prized?

trapped
underneath my skin
has my sanity snapped?

confined
within my own heart
has my future made me blind?