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  Nov 2015 Audrey
Xander Duncan
More precisely: A letter to Love
There is no place for you here
He forbade you from the beginning
And we agreed that you would not come around
I know I was alone when you showed up at my door but
You must have known you were still unwelcome
When he holds me close at 3am
This is not an invitation
When he pets my hair as I cry
This is not a retraction of our demands
His hand on my hips and under my clothes
Are not extended to you
You must believe me when I say I miss you terribly
But this is not the first time you have betrayed me
I think we need some distance
I truly do look forward to the opportunity where we may meet again
But there is no place for you here
Please go
  Nov 2015 Audrey
Joe Bradley
The clouds whirl around horns of the gate.
The blush of the morning is tangerine
and gold. The blossoming chorus from the bay
for now is just silence, fog and a silver lining.
The cinema bulbs are flickering out.

There is Coca-Cola in my soul.
There is anguish in my bones.
Luxury paid for the tightness of my skin
and an artifice of love.
It blew away like dry grass.

I think God is a librarian,
crumbs in his beard, fingerprinted specs.
Cataloguing the hours I spent on my knees
his matinée idol, his evening sandcastle,
stones applauding his work in the Cali tide.

What can he do to me?
Witchdoctors can forecast rain from my guts.
A poor wading bird can fish me up
and photograph my corpse iconic like Evelyn Hale,
but that 'man' can do nothing…

I see the Island rising from the mist
like it’s throwing off its coat.
I’m like the birdman, in my way.
I’ll be remembered
flying.  

Perhaps I can even make it magnificent?
The boys on the boat will talk over their beers
of that triple tuck swan dive,
the acrobat, a harlequin that tumbled
like a shadow on the rising sun

Kamikaze, I Samauri!
The war drum beats, on, on but I’m done.
l am in the eye of the storm.
I am the harbinger, the horseman -
And the universe is a ball in my hands.

I made you up, I’ll rub you out.
The sky is holding the Sun and the Moon.
5am. Circling gulls. Harikiri.
Machinery rings upwards through the girders.
Equinox.  Tomorrow is untouchable.
Audrey Nov 2015
the ghosts of your glances drift through me like snow,
getting tangled like spiderwebs on my ribs
until the ache under my breastbone reminds me
i can't breathe
my lungs are full of your smiles
Audrey Nov 2015
In my head, she and I were a symphony - red and white
Harmonies sprouting from shoulders rubbing
Hands brushing like strangers on a subway and
Eyes staring too long,
Like looking at the moon when I’ve had too much to drink

I hoped that she would kiss me, so she could read on my lips all the things I
Could not say

But she isn’t really a woman of the kind I can kiss, or so I've been told
Because what’s under her dress doesn’t match the name she introduces herself by
But I want to love her like a woman. Not a confused boy or a ******* or an ‘it’ of the type muttered about by the football team in the cafeteria.

I want to love her like a woman. A woman like my mother or my best friend or Jennifer Lawrence
Like the woman she is.

She asked me to do her makeup and help her find a dress
She had never worn a dress before.
The mirror finally reflected what she felt inside she thanked me for making her
“A real woman.”
It broke my heart, because she was a real woman since…forever.
found this in my notebook
Audrey Nov 2015
I try to waken and greet the world once again
Regardless of the soft grey mist
Blanketing my skin.
Made it through another moon shine night.
It’s dawn again and once again it’s dawn,
Drawn bow towards target of
Eyes forgetting darkroom mysteries of dreams
Colors line textures reinvented under deceptively distant
Slivers of lighted cloud.
Dawn again and I marvel at being an extra in a show
Played out a trillion times, trillions of eyes watching
When the curtain opens
It’s dawn again,
Heavy breath sigh,
Purple light on pale skin-
Braille beneath fingers still stumbling in sleep
It’s dawn again and once again it’s dawn.
Audrey Oct 2015
You’re wondering if I’m lonely.
Okay, then, yes.
I’m lonely
Like a plane full of strangers all with headphones in,
Seen from the ground as a
Fast vanishing light, here and then not

I’m lonely like a woman driving across the country,
Day after day,
Throwing away mile after mile,
Forgetting to drink the coffee she bought in
Towns that she might have stopped in,
Lived and grown old and died in  

Am I lonely?
Sure, the loneliness of walking a city in the early morning in winter
The streetlights stretching your shadows into crowds of acquaintances
Stumbling over each other to whisper their own inane advice

Alone when I wake to a house still asleep and I move too quietly even though
I’m the only one there, afraid to disturb the solitude snoozing in the attic
I drink my tea and watch the cars
Lonely
randomness
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