A dysfunctional
victim of her own mind
embracing her self and life
one minute
disposing all that she is
the next

When will this come to an end 
when will I stop living
so everlasting sleep 
can save me
from all that I am

I just want to disappear
yet I long to truly be seen
and embraced

Security is what I crave
and words that
allow me to express
my deepest needs,
my darkest fears,
and unfathomable longings

Enveloped by frisson
as certain words
seep, like silk
into my veins
and there
lies everlasting
serenity 
all that I am

Why am I so capable
of destroying myself
in ways that most
can never understand

A constant reminder
I give myself
that I am nothing
yet something

My heart expands
as vast as the sky
I only long
for the that one person
who would decipher my every motions
when insecure
who'd value my every flaws
and scars on my skin

I pray for the night to take me away
knowing all I meet
is better off without me
intruding their lives

I long for that special someone
To take me away from myself
to resurrect me
from all that I am
all that I carry

This constant war
against my mind and heart

I feel it gradually
engulfing my sanity
piece by piece

I feel insanely vulnerable
just by recalling your figure
 in the darkness

By hearing your voice 
all over again
reliving the life-threatening 
fear that rushed in 
and out of my heart

It was the first
and last time
I'd ever sense 
time has stopped

My soul froze
and still remains 
how you left it that night

You may have forever 
shaped and scarred me
but I haven't lost myself

Finding ourselves
is truly an uphill journey
but one we’re always destined to take
no matter your age
or where you are in life

Find gratitude
in obstacles  
in every miracle
no matter how
big or small

Nothing really lasts
Even a fraction of a second
can end as soon as it came

No love can last
None strong enough to endure
The madness that burrows
Itself deep within me

Unfixable
Unforgivable

I am nothing
But a mere shadow
Of existence

Seeking love
In all the
dangerous places

Nothing lasts
Not love
Not I

All that remains is
This illness
That carries me
That will always carry me

It gives me love
a feeling of being wanted 
and accepted

I guess its 
turned my brain

A never-ending 
war I never
want to forsake

Liar whispered
her soul