Like glass.
He saw right through me.

Right down to my core-
Where everything was in pieces.
Lost with a fragile heart.

Verbally and emotionally abused.
Shunned from reality.

To bleed was her escape.
She had her words taken away one night.

Voiceless
Suicidal.

Too distorted to have a mind of her own.
Selling herself to strangers.
She'd never left so numb.

The world was bleak.
She only lived in her shadow.
The memories of him.

She took her luck too far
She made a deal with life-

Choose the wrong path and you'll come face to face with Death.

Death came and took her soul.
Ripped it apart.

Naked on deaths bed.
She was cremated into a lost soul.

No number of cuts were enough
To take the agony away.

An imprint of her identity was sewn on to her heart.

How much longer will I have to remember?
How many times will I have to tell myself to 'just forget it'?

I can not seek revenge,
I mustn't let death win.

One day
I will have the power to cease these memories of you.

I remember the day you came in to my life.
You said you'll help me change.

I thought I'd finally be able to love myself.
but instead
You showed me greed and insecurity.

Distorting my self image.
I only wanted your love.

You gave it to me
when I lost the pounds.

From then on
You were my addiction.

From time to time
you resurface in to my mind.

You come to me
in the most needed times.

But I know what you want.
To only diminish my self worth.

Only to make yourself feel whole.

You feed off of those who have low self-esteem.
Giving them the illusion that they are worthless without you.

I truly feel that you never loved yourself.
So you prey on the weak
and vulnerable.

How you saw me.
The night I gave in to your tempting words.

But here is the truth-
You will never take over me.

I still feel broken.
Lost in time
When I was left alone
In the cold.
Without a hand to hold.

I was small and weakened
By his words of hate.
He hated me,
Betrayed me.

He took my trust and disfigured my soul.
I felt abandoned and alone.
Lost in the cold.

He left me to bleed.
I tried to breathe

Instead I was used
Convinced that I was wrong.

I was too chained up
in denial to see.
Lost in their fantasies.

No words can describe any of this.
I only wish he never hurt me the way he did.

If only I knew none of it happened because of me.
I might just have been able to stay clean and untouched.

Like a drug
His words poisoned me
Creating a world of self hate.

I only wanted to feel free.
I had to keep bleeding
So I wouldn't remember what he did to me.

I had to replace everything with the feeling of its release.

My thinking is still distorted by his confusing lies.
Maybe someday I can tell him to speak the truth.

He tore out my heart.

So I thought,
Only to feel the real thing later on.

I want to blame him for setting my life up.
For making me feel so ******* worthless
that I would have felt happy to die for him if that made him forgive me.

For being the wrong one instead of him.

He hurt me for so long.
My heart and mind still needs mending.

My family never had a care in the world about me.
They didn't believe me.

And even now
It hurts like ****.

He made me voiceless.
It's why I used my skin instead.

I've already let go of my heart.
You gave me no other choice.

You always crushed my faith in life
So unpredictably
You were able to shatter my dreams
Without saying a word.

The silent presence of you was enough to **** me.

You'll never knew that I kept our secret.

You've defeated me completely.

Yet my heart still beats heavily.

Filled with memories and emotions of you.

I want you to know.
But instead I decided to just let it go.

Let the past be left as a stain inside my heart.

So you will never know the truth.
What damage you put into me.

I'm speechless to speak to you.
Still in fear.

I'm already standing on higher ground.

Tears will always be shed from time to time because of you.
I've already picked up the peaces you left for me.

Somehow I think I surpassed you.

I found a brighter light.
I found myself again.

I want to move hearts
Change minds.

Create a safe haven
For those in pain.

Letting them all know
They are being heard
and are loved.

Unconditionally.
Like how everyone is supposed to be
seen.

Our world will thrive
Filled with gentle hearts.

The day will soon arrive.
Without a shadow of a doubt.

It's only Hope in disguise.

When people start to realise
What life really implies.

Not wealth
Not success.

But to only live life
with passionate and
Devoted hearts.

To see what matters in this life
That is full of criticism and war.

All you need is the bravery and freedom
To be the way you are.

No one ever deserves to be left behind.
We are all protectors of each other.

Help and support.
Those in need.
Who only wish the be freed
from misery.

Words are my inspiration.
Emotions are what fuels me
To put my heart on paper.

Reading helps me realise.
What life really means to me.

And when in times of stress
I take a step back from reality.
And breathe.

I sense the stirring
of my murmuring heartbeat.

My mind is wired and restless.
For many thoughts and emotions
Continuously collide within myself.

My only release
to cease my insomnious mind.
Is to set them free

Even if it means to carve away sleep.
Hoping in the end
That nothing will be left inside of me.

She walks toward the bright sky.
Her face glowing from the rays of the evening light.

And she tries to forget all that she's felt.
Everything from the past and the present, that she try's to stay sane in.

She longs for warm arms to embrace her.
Cold heart breaking with despair.

Her heartbeat races and palpates.
A sudden feeling of loss and grief encircling her.

All she can do now is breathe.
Slowly and calmly.

As she stares out in to the sky,
Now twilight.
She inhales and exhales.
Smells the scent of the memories she's left far behind.

A past she longs to be forgotten.
A relationship she desperately wants back.
To feel normal again.

The wind slowly starts to pick up.
As if it reads her thoughts,
and abruptly,
blows her thoughts into the darkened night sky.

She stands alone in the dark.
Waiting for a sign of hope.
Waiting for her thoughts of him to diminish.

It dawns on her that it will never be gone.
She will never be fee nor alone.
Everything she's felt for him.
Everything she's heard and witnessed.
It'll never leave her side.
And will remain in her heart.
Like an invisible needle disguised between threads.

She stays in her silent solitude.
Hoping the more she tries to move on.
She can and will eventually be happy again.
And will be able to feel nothing but that.
Even with him.

"Time will tell", says a quiet voice in her head.
And she thinks no more.