Go under water and breathe in.

2. Take your dinner knife and push it through your heart. Slowly.

3. Open up your skull, and fill it with bees. Dance around a bit to aggravate them.

4. Stare into the sun without blinking.

5. Stick your tongue to a stop sign pole when the temperature is below zero.

6. Walk across a fire pit. Hell, just stand still in the middle.

7. Run as fast as you can and hit the corner of your counter with your hip bones.

8. Bite on your lower lip until it bleeds.

9. Lie on the ground and have someone put rocks onto your chest.

10. Pour grits on the floor and kneel upon them. You'll bleed some, but that's okay.

10. Go outside during an autumn evening with a sweatshirt on. Do you feel that breeze?

9. Read the Bible and wonder why God didn't tell anyone to write a book solely about you.

8. Play with children.

7. Stay up late and watch your favorite shows under thick blankets and pillows.

6. Put up Christmas lights and turn off all the others and think of how happy you were in every Christmas you've ever had.

5. Go to your local ball park and catch a game.

4. Look at how the stars match the same constellations in your eyes.

3. Go camping and wake up early. Make sure you make hot chocolate and fried potatoes and wear a hoody the whole trip.

2. Read poetry and sit at the ocean.

1. Fall in love with yourself too.

Sometimes I think,
It makes me clench my fists,
And push my legs,
And yell silently in my throat.

My hands vibrate,
My veins pop out,
My eyes redden,
And my heartbeat races.

I think of kisses,
Doorsteps,
Park benches,
And grassy hills.

I almost cry,
Sometimes my arm lashes out,
I punch a wall,
And start bleeding.

Sometimes I yell,
I pick an object,
Today it was a banana,
And I just yell.

And sometimes,
I go home,
I fall asleep,
And dream terrible dreams.

I’m not always okay.

We have a nice thing going
But then it gets boring
Because I am unable to give
What you want most in this
My insecurities block me
From giving you your plea
And I disappoint the both of us
Then we feel there is no trust
Truth is, I don't trust anyone
Because my body is no fun
No, we can't have *** like that
All you would see is my fat
You respect me and you're patient
And for that, I try to not relent
But I'll always be held back
It's just a cold hard *fact

Sometimes
It’s as if it was just yesterday
Just yesterday when you tore my fragile heart from my chest and shattered it into a million pieces
Seemed as if though I would never find happiness, ever again

But its been two years since
Why do I find myself looking back
Didn’t we say “no regrets”?
Didn’t we leave on good terms?

I remember those nights
Nights when you’d fall asleep while we’re talking
And the next morning you’d apologize and call me beautiful
Those nights when you’d made me feel like no other
Like nothing else ever mattered, as long as we’ve got each other
Those nights when we’d make plans
To watch our favorite band together
To go around the world in each other’s arms
To stay strong no matter what others say
Those nights when we’d have those little arguments
“I love you more”
“No! I love you most”
What happened?

It all suddenly stopped
Our love was like a car accident, everything all of a sudden
A driver who suddenly brakes, suddenly stops
Suddenly flies through the windshield, shattered, wounded
Everything happening so fast
Is there ever time to mend the wounds?
Wounds which were the only remnants of our love
Wounds left by you who once said “I won't let anyone ever hurt you”
Funny how the people you love the most are also the ones who can hurt you the most
How ironic is that?

As my brain goes overdrive, overthinking what could’ve been
I think, what if I just miss the memories, not the person itself?
Its pretty amazing having someone who loves you
But that’s life, and people really do come and go
Everything happens for a reason
I really do like to believe so

You know that old saying
When someone abandons you?
"It's their loss..."

Well, I never knew
How true that was...

I would have loved you
Until the end of time
I would have kissed your scars
I would have iced your bruises
I would have stitched your slices
On your body
And your soul

I would have held you
Until the sun came up
And the light made your
Heart warm again

I would have grown
Every ingredient in your dinner
In our backyard
Harvested the carrots
For our soup

I would have chopped wood
And bought your mother flowers
I would have done our taxes

I would have stayed up
And waited for you to come home
When the office made you stay late
I would have greeted you at the door
With a kiss and smile
And a hot cup of cocoa

I would have sewn the holes
In your jeans

I would have held your hand
At all those funerals
For the ones you barely knew

I would have been your
Plus one
For eternity

And those are the saddest
Words I'll ever know
Because we both
Know it's the truth.

I really would have
Loved you best.

And still you left.