My ego is a fish
Swimming around its fish bowl

Stupid little fish
Can't settle with the pace flow

Stupid little fish
Thinking it's out in open sea

Getting offedend with that and this
While trying to take over me

Stupid little fish
Running after my control
However you remain far

Coming at me with all you got
But you're just a fish
Pretending to be a shark

Go on little soldier,
burn down all the things you don't understand.
Stay awake,
if you are sleepy you won't fear the things you have to face.
Don't even question little soldier,
all you are doing it's for the greater good, right?
Remember:
look away from the faces you are setting fire, you just have to care about God's eye.
Don't dream too much little soldier,
cause tomorrow there's another fight.
Don't bother making plans for when the war its over; you won't survive.

-I hope my tales will be sung after I die.

It's so overrated being a teen
Everything becomes a trend so fast
It's like no one has their own dreams
It's so sad
I remember when we were kids
We wanted to be anything, but stuck in ours rooms
Now look at us, it's the universe doing its pranks again I presume.

- I still wanting to do so many things but.. these walls has its appeal.

I'm lost at sea,
in the darkest night.
I know everyone is in the same situation
but at least the others have one or two lights,
at least everyone else have some sort of guide.
I'm by me,
                     myself,
                                     and I.
Above me only black sky,
ahead of me just a black faded horizon line.
There's no light to guide me.
There's no torch to comfort this.
There's not a single star to look down.
I remember all the people who promised that same void vow
and still,
I'm lost at sea and there's no lighthouse.

-if I'm already in the deepest dark, why not trade the waters for the sky?

If not even the person that is supposed to love me,
Loves me
How am I supposed to feel loved?

We're lying to ourselves again,
lying and lying.
We could never fix what we broke
or get another one.

I wish things were like this,
easy to fix,
easy to bring
back to what it was before,
in the first two or three months.

But life isn't like that,
and even though I don't think it's fair,
that's how it is.
So let's keep going
and keep it a secret.

We're broken, broken,
and it just gets deeper,
longing and crying,
forever weeper.

I wait for it to go away, magically.

...I wait
             ......I wait
                          ..........I wait

I pretende these little thoughts aren't here
If I ignore enough it's gonna disappear
...Magically...
But it never does.

- where's tinker bell when I need her?

You built me up as smart
Now you calling me a fool
You make fun
You make the promises a blur
Maybe I am dumb for letting it sinks
That I am so smart and unique

You stocked yours words in my mind
You didn't let me even think
Now I'm here
Getting the waves standing in my feet
I should never fell for your words
All you did was pull me backwards

-I hate it when I feel dumb

I know
You married someone else
But I really
Really
Need to hear your voice right now

- the sound of your voice overcome the ones in my head

She feels like a blindfolded walk
That I keep going forward nevertheless

- Maybe she's the mermaid voice leading me towards drowning

There's sugar on my fingertips
There's drops on my cheeks

How dreamy if I could sleep
As easily as my thoughts drift to you

- You got me into the spiral of thinking of not thinking while I'm thinking about it

My words
My home
My pain
My hurt

A bit piece of it
Makes the entire of it
I'm still learning how to let go
Of the things that are mine

- little by little I'm unloading

I love you, though we're out of sync.
I love you, despite the pain I drink.
I love you, even though we've broken up.
I love you, do you love me, sir?

We're not made for each other,
But I wish we were.
I want you back,
But I'm so tired of breaking and getting on.

I've seen you after nearly a month,
I didn't know I'd miss you this much.
But I do,
I miss you all the way up.
I miss you,
Do you miss me at all?

Wet grass smell. There's nothing more earthy about earth. I miss the raw world. Not the grind "to make it". Earth. Wind. Rain. I miss the animal part of ourselves. I miss the humanity in the human.

I never liked my name
And they say everyone's the same
But you came along and
I just couldn't believe it then
The way you say it
The way you pronounce it
The way you change the pace of it
When I was a child I always dreamed with the day I would be able to change it
Now my stomach goes crazy when your mouth has my name in it

Sometimes I'm in such a need of love
That I'll take even the much
That just ain't enough

-I never can tell when I'm accepting less than I deserve.

Not another tear
Not for it

Seven pm
And I'm slipping
Haven't closed my eyes since then
Now I'm sleepy

Every drown in slept
It's a different torture
My mind it's pranking me
I can hear the vultures

Nightmares
As if I'm there
Chill body
It never ends

Can't wake up
Can't run away
Is my mind corrupted?
Sometimes I think
I'm not the only one there

- is it late night or early morning?

These words are for nobody
No one to see it
You may want to correct
Since your words are better

So these words are for nobody
That's why they are mine
No words for nobody
And nobody am I

She's Hell
All dressed up in Heaven

You're a still Ocean
All dressep up in Sucker

Not all men,
Don't paint them with the same brush.
There are good fellas out there,
They're just hidden in the hush.

Not all men,
Don't be harsh and snap.
You're hurting their feelings,
By saying that.

Not all men
Just all your male classmates,
With different ages, incomes and background.
You think they're all the same cloth, but they're just clout
Real men are out there; you just have to be alert to find out

Not all men
Well, maybe your work colleagues
But just because they get carried in their jokes
Doesn't mean the nice guys have to pay for it

Not all men
Just your brother, cousins and uncles
Are the perfect stereotype of what they claim not to be
Maybe you just have to open your heart and see what they want you to see

Not all men
Remember that nice guy you met?
He was so charming and polite
So what that with his group friends he's the first to make a  offensive little Joke and get everybody to crack ?

Not all men
What about you lovely lover?
He doesn't want to be with you when it gets too hard
But he's so nice, isn't he? You should be more grateful for the lad!

Not all men
Didn't you have a dad?
He screamed and horrorofied you
Just thinking about your own good so
Why do you treat him so bad?

Not all men
Your classmate is so smart!
He can talk about books and life
Is it such a big deal he told you these words
As a heartfelt friend advice?

Not all men
You're just too boring!
Can't take a ******* joke
And then think they're all terrible

So what if he's married and has a baby girl
Yet still watching **** in class and talk about
Getting underage girls?

So what if he has a younger sister
And talk with our classmates about
Wich one he's going to let be the lucky guy
That will make it in their house to take her at night?

Not all men
Stop being dramatic!
Boys will be boys
What's the catastrophe?

Not all men,
You just have to find the right one,
Who will tell you that boys are just like that,
And aren't intending to harm anyone.

He doesn't even think about how my heart sinks
When I talk about all these things
And I get back that I'm such a drama queen
Bacause that's just how people are
A laught doesn't turn them mean

Not all men
But how am I gonna trust a men
That joke at every woman they know
And act defenseless when the misogyny it's shown

Not all men,
I guess I want to believe it,
And that's why my heart aches so much,
Because always when I think I've found the right one,
The right friend, the right love

All men,
Not leaving one out at all,
Have proven me wrong so far,
And it hurts deeply,
Because I want to believe  it.
Not all men,
But all I've met so far.

I don't really get it
I wish I knew better
I wish the answer was clever
Because I have the answer
And it doesn't matter
'Cause I can't do it anyways
I can't do it and I hate it
I can't do it but I wanna take it
When it breaks will it worth what it takes?
I feel like dying
Then I feel like holding on
Because for a couple of minutes it doesn't  hurt so bad
Then it feels like I'm chained to my bed
I sink into the blankets and just want to disappear
Not daring to move 'cause they might hear
I feel guilty I wanna die
Then I feel guilty for feeling guilty
Because, aren't feelings a kind of beauty?
I guess so
But I don't think so
I don't think that feeling so hard at the point you feel your soul's breaking
It's cool, okay
since art out of it is what you're making.

-Can't art come out of good feelings too?

You flew away from me
Then so did my poetry
Joy flew away from me
And all my ink became dry
Hope flew away from me
As every smile spreading up my cheeks
The sky filled up with flying things
Going so desperately away from me
Out of that my soul became deeply relieved
When Melancholy and Boredom stayed
When everything dripped through my fingers
I finally had something to grip on

Off all the things I said
"I will do it no more "
At the top of the list is
"Do not beg for love"

- don't be upset, I'm just following rules that have been preset

I've felt so much
I don't think
I feel
Any
More

- Too dead to be alive

Sometimes my words flood the pages like the sea
And sometimes,
they are as softly as the fall of a leaf
Still, either way they come across in waves
No matter if it's a paragraph
Or a phrase

- all I have to say is enough

There's a sea coming out of me
Crashing down its way on waves
It's salty
But so bitter
The way the water it's ablaze

Perhaps Poseidon decided
I cannot be happy
For my sins stained his waters

Maybe Hades still waiting for me
In our garden with Persephone
And Cerberus can smell the scent
Of my lies from miles away

A golden fruit
Just two feet apart from me
Its finally within my reach
But who am I to take it?
I don't deserve what it can bring

My little lion
So skinny and wounded
Still running after what can't be ours

My little lion
That by now I must start calling
My tiny kitten
Why you still gritting your teeth for?

Poseidon forbidden us from the river
For ours sins still staining his waters
No more salt from the seas either
Just the bitterness of two weeping creatures

My little lion
I know you can see it too
Hanging just above you
And not much far from me
At last within our reach
The golden fruit we've dreamt of so many times
We want to feel it in our hands
but we have no right

Dearest friend, I know it hurts in you
Because it hurts in me too
The golden ticket of happiness
But we've caused so much pain and hurt
That this happiness isn't deserved
Neither for me
Nor for you

Hades still waiting for you and me
In our garden, with Persephone
The shine of the golden it's brightening your eyes
And this is how I know I made right
By weakening this badly
For people like me and you
Wasn't made for happiness

- Luckily Tartarus is warm enough

I wanted to get over you for so long
That now that I am
It doesn't feel like an accomplishment at all

- what about now?

I like reading old poems
It remind me of who I was
I think about the situation of them
How funny they came to me into a blur
I always thought
"There is no way it can get worse"
But oh, little child
It hadn't even began

I want to write how I feel
But it seems like I wrote this poem already
I want to make new rhymes
But it seems like I have empty my vocabulary
I want to arrange this feeling in a way it makes sense
But it seems as my thoughts are all spread out like confetti

- What's left for a writer unable to write?

Don't even get me started
I try to avoid it but it just hits harder
I try to cut it short but it keeps going farther
I try to pretend it but I ain't a actor

Maybe I should relax and give it time
Wait a bit, don't they say that time flies?
I'll be alright then
I'll be calm and I'll listen
I'll be sharing big smiles for no reason
I'll be helping other peoples with their demons
I'll make dinner while listening to Ed Sheeran
Then grab a book, dwell in a world of fiction

For a couple hours I'll forget
That when I went to sleep I will not get
The peace I want
Nor the easy I need
Maybe one day, I'll be able to get a proper sleep.

-It's okay, I've never liked to cook anyway.

I want to take my shot
But how could I
When I don't even know
Where the bullets at?

- I don't even know from where to start

When things get blue
I'm always there for you
But when I get there
Then I'm no good

- not enough

Isn't it insane
How one word
Shorter than a second of sound
Straight out of your mouth
Could change my life
In a split of a moment ?

- one word it's all it takes

I came to that point
Where there's no turning back
I either go
Or go
So I take a deep breath
I hold hands with my fear
And kick my legs forward
With my best fake brave face
Taking all of me to keep my jaw up

And I go

Every now and then
My lungs morph into cement
It's so hard to breathe
And the tears run free
There are no sound out of my mouth
No cry for help to be found
Is a silent pain
A little death of soul
And my lungs are so heavy
I might just let it go

- the longest nights are the ones I can't breathe through

I think
So I can write
But lately
I been thinking so much
I can't sketch a line

- Avalanche of thoughts spiraling down

I miss being made of flesh and blood
I don't know how much more I can fold
Once I knew I place to go
Where a Make-Believe girl could turn into a real one
I guess I lost the map
I guess I missed the ride
I should have never trusted that
I eventually would make it right

-Lately I'm just waiting for the rain to melt me away

The stars in my nose go crazy
They start to burst slow and lazy
Every single time when I'm about to cry
Every single time sanity tells me goodbye
They are a warning that the universe give to me
That I'm gonna fall apart if I don't take a breath in and deep
And alongside with the stars bursting
my eyes start to shoot fireworks
And everything I see is a blur
And just like that, I have a big bang of emotions
And the universe starts to expand like the ocean
Beyond my face
Up to my soul
And it's just too much
For me to go against the flow
My soul start to hurt
It bend at first
Then hunt me telling me what's fake
Stretching but it never breaks
It's just this endless feeling
Like I'm about to break at any moment
But I never do
And I'm beginning to wonder
Am I too strong or it is just a curse?

I read things today
That I feel but wouldn't know how to say
I read words way back wrote
From long time dead folks
I think
Of how much I wish I knew you
How can I miss
Someone who lived decades before me?

Every time I think I'm over you
You arise in my head out of the blue
Maybe you are the physical representation of a Phoenix
You live
You die
Then you're back alive

- I keep dying a little bit more everytime you're back in my life, the problem it's that I have only one of those

People that only
love poetry
when it's short
don't know what
poetry is

All the poetry I've written about us
Had no love, only hurt.
How did I not see
We were doomed from the first week?
How did I
Ignore what I wrote
And keep myself so blind?
I won't give my heart and words
To another broken soul
For my love was sold to a selfish and bold
Person who broke all that I own.

I want to cry my eyes out
Till I see they're melting on the floor
Empty canvas on my face
Where they were before

I wanna rip my heart out
Just up my throat
Cut it open and spread it
To see where it's sore

I want to find the miracle cure
Search upon all the earth
Find out what's hurting my soul
Take the bad off my core

If I'm not to find the antidote
Wherever it might be
I'll take the poising out of my bag
And this will be the last full moon I see

- Anything that will stop the hurting

Go ahead, wise one
Keep on treating me like a child
Go ahead, wise one
Like you're a special being who's get it right
Go ahead, perfect being
Who's never feared anything
Go ahead, perfect being
Putting words in my mouth like you know everything
Go ahead
Keep treating me like I'm less than you
But please, don't come crying when I give it all back like you do

- A calm ocean still can drown you