The universe loves a bad joke.

They say somethings are just like riding a bike, you can't forget
I remember I learned pretty young how to get by on my own and in self defense my head was set
Then you came around, it was like in all my beliefs you pressed reset
From one minute to the other the world wasn't grey anymore, I could finally see a colorful sunset
I didn't have to struggle so much anymore, I've put my defenses down cause then I wasn't alone to defeat the threats
Then you went away, and I was on my own again
I tried to calm myself because I've been alone before, I knew how to get it right, I know how to pilot this plane
Told myself "somethings are just like riding a bike, you can't forget"
So here I'm asking why the hell life ain't fair
Because I'm going crazy trying to figure it out how to keep sane without you there.

- I'm starting to think you were a drug disguised as a person.

I dont have the mind
Neither the time
To be thinking about this
To be feeling like this
To be so overwhelmed
To say the damns farewells
I just wanna
I just gonna
I don't know

-Maybe if I keep myself busy I won't have time to remember

I read to forget
But I never
Forget what I read

I don't think
That "I love you"
Makes justice to what I feel
Doesn't matter how many times I say it
There's not a word
Not a sentence
That will put in words
This feeling I have in my stomach
When I lock eyes on you

The sky is pouring outside
So I won't have to cry all by myself

It's not that
I don't care about you
It's only that
I care about me

- enough it's enough

Did you wait smiling for this?

I thought being good with words
Meant I would be good dealing with people
But these two things are so far
From each other

What use is it knowing what to say
If I can't bring myself to open my mouth?

I want you
So desperately to love me
But I honestly can't tell
If it is because I like you
Or if I only want to know
That I can make you fall for me
If I want to

I don't like hot days
Neither beach party's
Even less heat and sweat

But it's been so long
Since the last time sun kissed me
I even enjoy the feeling
Of melting wings

- Icarus, I do understand you a bit more today

My eyes won't dry
The days keep passing by
I used to have all the answers
Now I only have the questions
And every day they double themselves
And I just can't, I can't

Sun and wind
When I got to your location
We greeted
As past wasn't screaming
Coffee time
Small talk
How have you been?
Your hair is longer
And this is were we are
Table talk
We're older now
Not bedroom gossip
Table talk
How are your parents?
And about work?
Ignoring the real questions
We want to make so badly
Because real questions
Aren't suitable
For adults table talk

To live like a king
It's to die like one

- Name a king through all history that died honorable

I'm still writing about you.

I don't expect for nothing
I'm just a spectator

I'm bad at letting go

All these kids running and screaming
"They're just kids,
They're just being"
I don't know why,
but I just can't.
All this play-by-the-book thing
"We hate each other but on sunday we play it nice
Cause family it's our bigger treasure, right?"

So go on little girl,
put that sunday dress on and come to grandma house
Your cousins will be there
So you better do something nice on your hair
When your aunts ask about boyfriends,
satisfied them with whatever dumb story they can tell others later on
And ignore the fact you're hurt that they never even questioned if you like boys at all
And when your uncle make a sexist joke
laugh and shake your head
Because there's no place in the fam for a woman who speak up
Do never forget,
You're suppose to be a good pet.

-They really don't know why I don't go to family sundays anymore?

She's a daydreamer
A storm in it's physical form
Made straight out of boldness
The key to every door

She smells like that time at night
Where everything feels possible
And the world fit in ours pockets

As there's only the open road ahead
And nothing can hurt us
Because we're untouchable

There's no living thing
That won't bend to her wills
Because she's just too pretty
To be let unsatisfied

I guess that's why it hurts so much
When you wake up next morning
And she's just not into you anymore
Because the adrenaline went gone
The night made out of possibilities is dead
And she's realized you're not so interesting
As you were last night

- I fall for the dreamer every time, and every time they wake up from the dream

They call it
"Funny feeling"
The weird thing is
It never got me laughing

I bleed poetry
When the wound you left on me opens
Ink dripping out of my skin
And words streaming out of my lips
The shadows that are passing by stop to hear
And after a few minutes they plead
It's so beautiful
And so sweet
The art you make out of me
But no poetry is worthy enough
For the blood and pain
I had to go through to pick up the pen

- art isn't beautiful until I make it so

I wanna cry like I've  never cried before.
I wanna die like I've never died before.
Because I've died too many times
and today I'm dying a little bit more.
I do not even understand,
wish I knew why we do this kinda of stuff for.

-Everytime I think the fall will end
                                                             I fall
                                                                      a little bit
                                                                                        more.

And I got lost into emotions

Of the past
Of others
Of moments

Of every emotion
That buried my own

- how much it's too much?

Once upon a time
I wanted to be a writer
I wrote and rewrote
All the things I had inside my mind
But it was never good enough

Then the colors got shattered
And red dripped from everywhere
I thought it was ironic
Words flood on the pages
After, and only after
I felt like there was nothing inside to give

- I got the writing and gave all else in exchange

I came to that point
Where there's no turning back
I either go
Or go
So I take a deep breath
I hold hands with my fear
And kick my legs forward
With my best fake brave face
Taking all of me to keep my jaw up

And I go

And I'm still not knowing
If when the night falls I become someone else
Or I'm the raw me because I"m alone with myself

- I'm not a good company

I wish I could
But I can't

-Anything at all

Crying for you
Every single time

I'm suffocating in myself,
drowning, drowning,
inside the person I am.

No one to talk to,
So I made myself my best friend.
After a few moons together,
I realized I didn't want my company either.
And that's when I knew
I was completely alone.

I keep trying to shut myself down,
But I've been so loud this week,
I keep suffocating in me.

it's us against the world

I love  you to death
But do I love you enough to keep away from me death?

Today was bad
But at least
It was the only
"Today"
I will ever had

- tomorrow might not be better, but it's another day

People that only
love poetry
when it's short
don't know what
poetry is

She was crafted from pure sunlight,
I am formed from falling snowflakes.

Even having a good time
Its a bad time
lately

- Why can't  I just enjoy?

Who decided
love was supposed
to hurt this much?

And everything I struggle to put in words
Someone else certainly did before
And yet it still so hard
To come in conclusion with that
Nothing is really new
But I guess is still valid if is new to - you -

Bound tight to the earth
For the couple last months
Didn't see when
My feets began to float
Didn't want to mess my life up
I had just rearrange
But it's hard to avoid
When you don't see the changes
Now I'm in foreigner waters
And I never learned how to swim
Do I step back?
Do I keep it up?
Do I say that?
Do I take this turn?
I don't want to want
But I do
I want everything
I also want you

- Promise me you'll catch me

When things get blue
I'm always there for you
But when I get there
Then I'm no good

- not enough

When all you get from me
Is silence
When I just agree
Nodding my head
So you'll shut too
That's when you must know
You've lost me

I often get lost in your words
Even when I understand what you saying

- drowning in your thoughts

I've felt so much
I don't think
I feel
Any
More

- Too dead to be alive

What a kid
Are you kidding me?
What a kid
And with me
Getting caught in the crossfire
I'm so tired
You're such a kid
Playing with me
But obeying tightly
Who buys your snacks

"It doesn't matter, she loves me as well"


- Spoiler alert: it mattered.

I always think
I won't be able to write
Another line as good
As the last time

The ink resembles
Arthur's sword
And I can't pick it up
For months
Because I know
Whatever I write
Won't be good enough
To get close of what
I once wrote

When I finally do
Push up the sword
It's surprising how the hilt
Suits perfectly my hands

You dont need to like the things I do
No one likes anyway
You dont need to follow the script in my head
This never turns out it as it may
You dont have to say yes just for saying
Please, don't blame me for that day
You dont have to put me in a better light
I know well enough what's my fate

There's blue
There's green
There's purple in you
And red down his knees

There's that fun yellow in your arms
And a touch of black under her eyes
I search for the white of your hands
But they've disappear under the light

I miss the orange
It keept it a little lighter
Now we're left with gray
And empty ink bottles piled higher and higher

I want to cry my eyes out
Till I see they're melting on the floor
Empty canvas on my face
Where they were before

I wanna rip my heart out
Just up my throat
Cut it open and spread it
To see where its sore

I want to find the miracle cure
Search through all the earth
Find out what's hurting my soul
Take the bad off my core

If I'm not to find the antidote
Wherever it might be
I'll take out the poising in my bag
And this will be the last full moon I see

It's been three years
Today she is saying "yes" on white
It's been three years
And I'm at home trying to remember why there was even a fight