I almost had ******* everything.
Oh and there is a woman.
...
A woman is what I might need
for me.
To see what is what
and what still might be.

So I gave you my everything.
Did not hold back.
And what did you give me?

A
*******
virus.

Your kiss just might be
deadly to me.

Offer me a hand
or reach me the gun

either way help,
do something .

Someties I wish I could relive some of the firsts
They're always so fleeting in the moment you're in
They pass to quickly in the panic of the unkown,
leaving no chance to aprreciate what is being presented to you.

The first time seeing the ocean
smelling the salty air, toes buried in the sand
Trying to gift you all the pretty shells and stones the beach holds
Listening to the waves coming and leaving,
you're putting an open shell to my ear
Mom
I'm on your shoulders now, counting all the sails on the horizon
I'm their Captain now, they ought to listen to my command
Dad
Seagulls shouting from above, salt in the water and on my lips
My finger digging deep,
challenging the ocean with little walls and ditches of dirt.

The first sleepover at your house, my friend
staying up late gaming, jumping in lakes
Pretentious wine glasses in our hands filled with sweet,cheap energy
All these books, stories yet unexplored, so eager to be opend,
Before the fireplace,
Embers cracking, giving warmth to our conversations
till the sun comes up
The morning dew smells fresh and pink and we're falling asleep.

The first time this one cute girl laughed a bit to loud at something stupid I said,
Approaching you carefully, testing out the water
Drunkenly leaning on to you, getting closer.
My piercing caught in your fishnet,
You caught me
Waking up in the morning next to you
"What happend, I can't remember?"
The first kiss and the second first, both equally akward
Do you want to be my girl?
Y / N / Maybe?
Maybe this time I gift you the lighter I bought for you the day after we met
Maybe this time I can explain to you how confused you left me.

Oh this little lost boy never knew what he was doing,
He still has no clue.

All these special little moments lining up to a lifetime gone by,
So many of them, getting fewer and fewer by the day
Not good or bad, mean, beautiful or disappointing yet
just beyond of it all,
A plain new adventure, a shot in the dark
in this life you're trying to live right going forward
but you'll only ever understand in retrospective.

When it's to late.

I keep wasing my hair,
hoping you will run your fingers through.
I shave hoping you will touch my cheeks,
I keep changing my sheets longing for you,
everyday.

This world is to much for me

I can never be enough
I am always to weak

Let me stay down
Curled up on the ground

Let me be defeated

Please

The power a simple letter holds,
Y is the difference between freak and freaky
Between yours and ours
.
Cellar man where you gonna run to?

You're so beautiful,
casually walking down the street
There's no way I can look up again
My eyes are bound to the floor.

Your glance is burning me, I flinch away
my head is screaming
run boy run,
for your dear life.

Your lips my lips,
apocalypse.
.
Is that my thought or just another song lyric?
.
If all the thoughts have been made before
all the actions been taken
walked down every road
.
Am I even my own person
or just a replicant,
an open transmitter broadcasating?

I'd rather leave it unfinished
take it easy
crack a joke
than to mess it up and watch me fail

again

Stop whinig
sit down,
breathe
eat what I cooked for you
rest
stop being so ******* yourself
start taking care of yourself better
and let me love you.

Please

You magnificent, beautiful fool.

Why is it so hard in this world
to find yourself valued and respected,
loved even

when you are trying so hard to be kind
to keep smiling
and not become bitter?

In the heart of the storm
Only there it is
That your rage goes quiet
Settles down
Drowned out, under the sound
Of weeping winds roaring loud
An fade and fade
Gone at once
Just swept away

Lost importance
Together with the rest of the world
Doesn't matter
All things change
Raising the question
Like a whisper amongst the noise
What now?

What now? What now? What now?

Quickly
A pen, a paper , your grocery list
anything

The words are already fading
from my mind
quickly

It's junce again,
and I can't remember the last time my smile was forced
or my eyes were empty staring blankly into nothingness.

AsI point my face to the sun and my nose into the wind.

Depression is a faint memory.
Winter is ages ago, ages away.


But it will be back,
and it will make me remember.
First slowly and then all at once.

How many hits does it take
to change the nature of a dog unbothered?
So he becomes a violent creature
that bites the next.

Don't forget to breathe
she said
Why, you're gonna stop me?
I said
My lips on yours
the End

I want a dog and a cat
A wall with shelf after shelf
Filled with all the books that I’ve read
I want a house in the forest, near a lake
And a place to grow old and slowly forget
A peacful way to live

I’d like you to join me there
If you can
To stay by my side
Watching the time go by
Everyday that I wake up
With a smile

Eternally grateful for the day that we met
And the nights that came after

Give some hope to the hopless
Youth
Shine a little light
It's so dark and cold
Here,in some random back alley
I'm all alone
Sunk into the wall, I'm on the ground

On my last couple breaths
I don't feel strong, I'm afraid, but
Bleeding out from all the wounds and scars
That I've collected over the years
I can't help but smile faintly
Knowingly
It's an inside joke, you wouldn't get it

I'm dying
Here
Going out, together with the rest of the world

Will you hold my hand?
Gift me some warmth
Pad my head one last time
Like my mom used to do

Last words
Tell me, was I any good?

Das Problem ist bekannt
Du bist was du isst
Und du bist hungrig
Auf mehr
Also friss
Mir aus der Hand

I'm your cup of tea


left alone for to long,
grown cold and bitter

Freedom
Freedom is a loaded gun under your bed
Plan B,C,D... Z
A way out

Maybe the scariest thing you can do is to become a parent

love
hate
peace?

never
ever
again?

whole
broken
design of mine?

hope
despair
endlessly

forever ever after
dead or alive