A man waks his dog down the street

watch me dump ****
let's worship each other

Work out,
not to boost your ego but to be able to care for others,

Broader shoulders not to intimidate but to carry your mothers groceries when she gets older. So she has something to lean on just as you did growing up.

A back massive enough to steady your fahter when he can't do it by himself anymore. An open invitation for him to place his hand.
"I'm proud of you son"

Bigger arms to hold your friends tight shall they ever need it. So they may never lose their smile and you may never lose yours.
And hopefully you may never lose each other.

A bigger chest not to boast with but for your lover to rest and hide from the world for just "five more minutes" longer, while the first rays of sunlight  touch her face in the morning.

Strong hands that can gently support a childs head against the stomrs of this world but won't ever let go when they're needed to. To keep holding on of what's important.

Steady eyes, focused on the road ahead. So nobody gets lost on the way.

Capable legs to carry them home after a long night, and lay them to rest. To kick back whe life kicks you and tries to play *****.

And finally a strong mind to provide it all and more
and find purpose and happiness in doing so.

I wonder
when in my childhood
did little me go, from being
loved, cared and protected
a walking sunshine
whaetever the seaon
from being unbotherd and innocent
...

To making pretend,
protecting myself
and not trusitng anymore
building up walls
high and higher

Hiding away in his little fantasiy worlds
strong, and invulnurable
always on top
the hero
to save the day
no one can reach me here,
no one can hurt me here

Avoiding real life whenever,
avoiding the outside
shying away
fleeing when possible
An outcast trying to find something to hold onto
with a weakening grip

You have to do this on your own
you think
the world is bad outside
it doesn't welcome you
like the others

Better to keep away
Don't move, keep quiet
no sound,
stay hidden
in the background
this way
they might overlook and forget,
they might not notice you

Who hurt you this much?
I've long forgotten,
the origin of my instincts
I've survived and have to unlearn now.
unravel

Be safe little one,
be patiend,
try to be kind to yourself,
at least a little kinder

But how do you know
Anything in this world?
How do you tell
Right from wrong
And good from bad?
In this complex mess
That's changing constantly
All the time

And no one rellay explains it to you
For only a few really have a clue
And they get drowned out too
Buried under the mass of missinformation
So called opinions
Which to often are stated as facts

What can you rely on
In a dance of deception and manipulation
When you don't know the steps
Blindfolded, only slightly see through
All you can do is stumble
And look for something or someone
To hold onto

You have to believe something
Commit to something
To a casue, an idea, a person
In due time
With whatever limited understanding you have
And hope for the best

That's all you can really do
In the end
Hope for the best

Opportunisten an die Wand
Ansonsten reicht euch die Hand
In Versöhnung
Das Leben, es ist komplex und hart

Genug

Eins ist klar
Es muss weiter gehen
Wir müssen
Weiter gehen

Und miteinander reden
Sonst wird das nichts
Mit dem Frieden

How do you go
Find home in another person
Looking for familiarity
When your parents messed you up real good?
What if you can't trust your instincts?

When you don't want to end up with resemblense
Just another version of them
In your bed the next morning
Their mantra stuck in another sack of flesh
Sweat on the sheets, bad skin
Eating, *******, all consuming
They'd be so proud
Cheers to  our tradition

Your words raise red to the wind
Sounds like landmines and pitfalls to me
But what can you do
That's alawys been my colour
Painted as a cross across my chest
It suits me best
Just what I'm deserving

Let's get married
Can't wait for our honeymoon honey
Can't wait to mess up our kids
Let's raise our glasses
A toast
Cheers to our heritage

Runners high
out of breath, muscles aching
when I managed to get up, get out get by.

And left my room

The sun shining on my face
pulling you closer to my chest
a summer affair's embrace.

It's warm

When my music resonates
sounds make up my brain
and my heart beats to the rhythm
Here's to another day, my fellow inmates.

All is fine in the world when drowned out.

Looking out the window of a moving train
the landscape's rushing by
Get some distance, might not feel the pain
at least not for a while

Reset my settings.

When you tell me I'm enough,
I'm doing fine
I imagine

I've never heard these words spoken before

You bring with you so much light, so much life,
it hurts sometimes
I try not to flinch away from the heat.
I have to avert my gaze.
You can't look into the sun for to long without going blind.
You leave me blindsided

Now I think I understand how Icarus must have felt.
Before he fell.

One second,

for the broadest smile to shine,
for tears to form, dripping out of your eyes
waterfalls down your cheeks
An exchange of looks, a parting of ways
To shy to try
To say hi and goodbye

Two seconds
It's all it takes

For tires to screech leaving your bike under wheels
For your life to unfold and fade away,
to be changed forever,
a spiral out of control
downwards.

Three seconds is all it takes,

To say
I love you,
Thank you
Could you help me?
I'm glad you're here.
I woudn't know what to do without you

Imagine what you could do with a day

I believe one day you'll smile again, cry again
One day, you'll bike again
And believe me when I say
it's gonna be worth it, it's gonna be okay.

I have no purpose here

I'm not in control
Mesmerized
I watch

Hold captive
By shapes
Made out of a blank space
Brought to light

By pages slowly filling
with ink
bled by a pen
seemingly
led by my hand

Black ink
absorbing the light

And one day I woke up
Smelling flowers again
In full blossom
A feint scent of almonds walking by
I can't help it
It makes me smile

Squashed sticky between my fingers
I hold hidden flavours
Wet grass and dirt beneath me
Lying down at the river banks
My favourites are alive again

Nostalgia served on a platter
A slight sting to the chest
Watching the light break and curl at the surface
Glittering gold shimmering
Water always finds it's ways

Don't get me wrong
I still feel empty
A hollow shell of a tree
That burned out long ago
Keeping up appearances

But as the sun goes down
The gentle spring night air
Speaks to me of summers warmth
Filling me, holding me up
Making my step a little lighter

I long for somebody
To love me
Soon
But for now
Today was a good day

I could be the smartest person in the world
The collective intellect in one
And still I'd be thinking about ***** all the time
Not to be crude or anything

The animal is hugry
Out for blood
The urge to feed

I'm refusing to play along
I'm refusing to go hunting

Locked away
Forced to be domesticated
It turns cannibalistic
Eats you up from the inside
If you don't feed it a little
If you keep it starving
Away from daylight and fresh air

It will grow larger, growl louder
Taking up more and more room
Tunrning you hollow
Till you have to pay mind
Or it gets strong enough to take over
The reigns
And run wild
Time for payback

You can't deny your own nature
If it feels trapped it will try to get out
Finding violent ways
Fighting for control
With the animal inside
Howling to be heard

So don#t forget to let it walk around
From time to time
Stretch out it's legs
And get some pets

Who knows
You might gain a friend

Isn't it curious how you can spend a lifetime
going unnoticed.
Alone with all your small habits and thoughts.

The more people are around you the easier it is
to become invisible.
The last person on earth among others

I'm sorry but.
I have words in my head.
I have to let some of them out at least.
Make space, I'm grasping for breath.

It really never ends does it?
There is no stop, no pause, no finish line,
there is no pleasing you.

I have to hit the breaks,
or crash,
Going down in flames.

Sailor, sailor
Riding the waves
Facing the horizon
Breaking wind
Sunrise to sundown

Truly a master of the elements
But a master of oneself?

How romantic
How platonic
You're heading north
It's going south

Away, away
Where are you going?
What are you running from?

I'm free falling
what a scary thought

imagine
hitting the ground without you
imagine
hurting you

Bulgaria,
08.40,leaving from sector 2
You pay with the driver
You can stick your head out of the window
Watch meadows and cows pass by
Chewing in indifference

The market is every wednesday
I wish they'd lay better pavement
1kg and one apple please
We want to have a bbq later
In the rain
You fill my heart
But my tummy can't keep up

Sure, the Dixi is available
But there is always the option of being a friend of nature
And **** in the woods
The cave is one of the biggest in Europe
Which means
It's tall enough to fit a horse
He told me, holding hands with his wive
Of over 30 years
They wouldn't let me pay for the ticket

A day in the park
People are peopling
Yes that's a word, now
I'm people too
Yet it irritates me when they remind me
Here, I picked these daisies
Three of them, they're for you
Ne razbiram, sorry
Caho, chao!

Did you know?
The black sea is milky
And cold

You ghost me

Yet I'm the one
Who's left behind

I'm the one feeling invisible
And empty
Inside

I'm the one who's haunted
By your memory

How fun
I'd curse you
If it'd make a difference

How does it feel,
when you've learned to make yourself accpeted, included and liked
by making gifts to others?
When you feel like you have to earn your worth, earn your place?
Always think of others, their needs, help them, care for them,
you keep going out of your way to please.
Without even being asked to.

Literally no one asked, why do you still do it?
No appreciation to be found
yet you still give more, do more, spend more.
Till they excpect it from you.

Just to watch your gifts be tossed aside,
become forgotten and expired.
You can fish them out of the trash later.
Frame them, added to the collection.

Be grateful you can still be around.
No one likes you anyway right?
You're nothing but tolerated.
Leftovers, appendege, third wheeling.

Be grateful. at least you're not completly worthless and alone,
right?
Does that sound right
to you?

There is this one question
Which seems to manifest
Waiting, lurking
Behind every turn
And every corner
A reacurring visitor

Tell me
Where did I go wrong?
What did I miss?

Tell me
What is wrong with me?

Some gems are lost forever
sparkle
never to be found

Maybe that's for the better

Stop now for a minute,
it's overtaken you.
Let's list off our problems, one by one,
and you know a couple more too.
Follow with your plans, your dreams, glimpses of the future
open to us or seemingly so.
Is that really what I want or did someone tell me to?

Let's see where that leads us,
what reasons, what cause, what solutions are there?
Where do we stand, or stumble
what ground do we share?
Who could we ask for help, who could we lean on,
who would  actually care?
It's hard to find someone like that really ,yeah really anywhere.
With no family, no friend, no partner life's hard to  bear.

Don't forget to breathe,
be brave, be strong. no even stronger
Continue to for a bit, before we leave,
go on, can't you?
Just a little longer

When I think of the future panic rises.

Canned laughter
And bottled up anger
Let's call it a lunch
Quality tupperware
A gift from my parents
It's hard for me to open up

Try to crack me open
Use brute force
Till someone gets hurt
But we have to eat
It always comes down to needs

The sun always shines the brightest
In it's last moments
Before the night
A flash of rare green
Mirrored in your eyes
I'm staring again

Will the sun rise tomorrow?
On us?
Will we still be together?
Tomorrow, next week
Next year
Will it be the same?
Who can say?

Who can say?

Please
Let me feel the pain
I'll take it on fully
Let me cry rivers on end
And I'm talking ugly crying

Wheezing, shaking, rocking, howling
Whiping snort away
I'm way past overdue
For so long I've held it together
Kept it up
I've unlearned how to let it all go

Please
Allow me right now
To let it out
You'll have to excuse me for the display
And for the sobbing you see
I've never had a place
Where I felt safe
I've never found my people
And I've been losing my ground

Take me, take me in
pull me closer
and brush my skin.

Here's my lips, my face,
kiss me, have a seat
Oh, what a sweet embrace.

Take control of me, please.
I don't want to hold the reigns.
You have me on my knees.

Before you.
Leave yor marks on me.

Went out
Met her
In a bar
Basil smash that ***
As usual, I talk to much
Smart ***
Quick smack to my face

A little later
We leave together
Off to new horizons
I forgot your bridal *******
Stranger
Jokes aside
Got no rubbers on me
We gotta improvise

Fast forward a couple of nights
Honey dew on a full moon
Got my ***** out
Hanging out in plain view
We're in it now, deep
Call it a honey moon
I'll call you soon

Call you mine?

Yes I will

I don't have my people
Never met someone
Who I felt secure enough with
To fully trust
To connect with
Let's go off script!

Who might understand
Who'd be willing to listen?
I couldn't explain myself anyways
Anymore
It's been so long I've forgotten

Makes sense tho
I'm not a real person
Just a hollow wind up doll
All lines and make pretend
A walking matryoshka
Layers on layers of crumbling paint
Yet nothings inside to find

In life as in death
bury me in books, in stories
coverd in ink, in words long dried out.

There must be
a special factory
somewhere in the world
hidden away
with care

It would shape the clouds
as they come in molds
all fluffy
in pink, orange, yellow and white

It sends them out
grazing the sky
like flocks of sheep
peacefully aloft

And then suddenly
all grey and dark
boasting big,
almost bursting open on the spot
carrying all that weight
crackling with lightning
so full of energy

But so patient,
holding on
waiting
trying so hard
till the right moment arrives

Last stop of the line
destination reached
time for a festive hosting
to let it all out
let it fall

Refresh the world
with new air
a change of pace
a quick break for us all

Rip open
with bursting thunder
you deserve it
let go now
little big cloud
you've been so bave

You carried it all
kept it in you
for how long I can only imagine
and how far you must have come
be proud

Surely
the wind alone
can not make up all these shapes
I see
when I lay down in the grass
looking up
you're here with me

Watch
look at the sky
watch 'em go by
never tyring from reinventing
it's ever changing
infinite forms

So
surely
there must be
hidden away somewhere
in this world

a little cloud factory

She said she likes to play
Likes to puzzle
I said okay
Let's play your game

Acting condfident
But
Feeling terrified

She'll leave me in pieces
Wishing and wanting
Torn apart
If she kept a piece for herself
I'll never be whole again