hold up,
come back,
you left my jaw at the floor

The perfect lighting,
in the perfect mood
to take my time
and shoot some nudes

I just have no one to send them to.
Can I send them to you?
^^

hehehe

.
inaudible screaming
what a beautiful subtitle
you can see the absence of sound
and yet hear it in your chest
bursting out
.

Who is
he?
Who is
she?

A story of
him
A story of
her

stuck
in limbo.

It's junce again,
and I can't remember the last time my smile was forced
or my eyes were empty staring blankly into nothingness.

AsI point my face to the sun and my nose into the wind.

Depression is a faint memory.
Winter is ages ago, ages away.


But it will be back,
and it will make me remember.
First slowly and then all at once.

Money doesn't mean much
I think
Against a lifetime lived
Between grief and happiness
Love and despair

I wished

Money doesn't mean much
Where heads rest at shoulders
In a world of morning dew and sundowns over the ocean
Where clouds lay down over the mountain ridge
Like white water turned golden

I hoped
Surely it couldn't

And when it all comes tumbling down
All gears stop turning for a day or two
I'll hold on to a thought
I once had
That money doesn't mean much
In the end

In the heart of the storm
Only there it is
That your rage goes quiet
Settles down
Drowned out, under the sound
Of weeping winds roaring loud
An fade and fade
Gone at once
Just swept away

Lost importance
Together with the rest of the world
Doesn't matter
All things change
Raising the question
Like a whisper amongst the noise
What now?

What now? What now? What now?

Quickly
A pen, a paper , your grocery list
anything

The words are already fading
from my mind
quickly

In der Hose, im Pulli
In meinen Taschen
Eine handvoll Pennies
Im Mund und im Kopf
Lächeln mit Zahnlücke und ADHD
Das hab ich selbst diagnostiziert
Schubladen sind nur zum Verschließen gut

Und im Herz, ja im Herz
Da herrscht Leere
Du fehlst halt

Aber immerhin weg
Nicht mehr hier
Mit dir

In Wien
Budapest, Berlgrad, Istanbul
...
Und wieder zurück
Immer wieder
In Berlin

I'm so tired
Lord lay me to rest.

To drink freshly squezed juice,
to feel alive in the sun.

Oh how would it be nice,
if spring was coming.

Sometimes you do get lucky
You meet people who don't use you
Up
Don't wear you
Out
Like the rest of them

Who don't just try you on for size
Force you down
Rip something
Wear and tear
And then throw it back on the shelf
For someone else to sort out

What's that about?

You will be the end of me.

Continue.

I've lost my footing
My feet ran away from me
Trying to get away as fast as possible
Abandonm ship
These waters are unfamiliar

I'm losing my head
Slowly coming undone
The everyday now is a fever dream
The good old times are gone
Yet each days remains the same
The same, same same all over again
I'm going insane
Can only pretend everything is fine for so long

Everything is changed and nothing changes
It's in the details
You could see it, feel it if you'd look
A change of mood
But people don't change
Fast enough
Who cares about history, the past
In present times?

It's happening again
Again and again and again
Right here too, but espacially over there
This isn't real, I'm not ...
What is? This
May just be the best way to live

Ignore, look away, zone out
Sedate yourself
Drown in all the noise
White screens in the dark, double tap
Swipe right, don't fight
back Shut yourself
away, become real quiet
And small
and Give up your voice

So you can stand the injustice
Double standarts all over
It's not fair
HA, what else is new?
You knew, you've known it since you were a child
All grown up now, a cynic, didn't you?
Incredible
What damage a little bit of hope can do
To you

Living in a world of predesign
The system is working against you
Just a bunch of made up rules
Making us miserable
We stand divided together
Children will always fight at the school yard

Capitalism
Modern day cancer
Limitless growth in a finite system
Value money over peoples needs
What could possibly go wrong?
When you only matter as much as your numbers add up
Working for them, the few
Whoever they are
The big bad behind the picture
Behind curtains or office windows
Step out on stage, into the spotlight
Let me draw you
A pretty picture

The world is ******
And so are you
****** before you got here, not even a thought yet
****** while you're here
And ****** long after you're gone
Maybe, hopefully, finally
At peace

Soldier boy
Be a good boy
Chained up
To your little hut
Closed off space
Only a yard or two to pace
Back and forth, back and forth

They raised you well
Only one purpose
All bark and bite
At everything that's new
That smells, seems strange

It's all you've been taught
All they see you fit for
How could you be anything else
Anything more?
Do you have any friends?
Does anyone come closer
See past the shell
Unafraid of the pain you promise
Gently offering you a hand
Trying to make peace?

What a lonely life you must lead
Dear leader of the pack
I hope soon things will change
And turn out for the better
May you find kindess, a little freedom even
Locked away from the world
In your cage

Chain me up,
clutch my wrists,
and hold me down.

Hold me tight.
Show me you care,
show me I matter.

Get up,
brush your teeth,
shave,
make your bed,
and clean the dishes,
clean your room.
Take out the trash
Work out,
study,
cook,
eat healthy,
mastrubate.
Go to work,
get it done.
Just one more week,
Get up.

what is life?
shut up
*******

She struggles hard
struggles, each and everyday.

Still she does it so beautifully
so let's try and keep her safe.