You raised me
In love and bliss
Held me for years
Made me feel safe
Taught me
Values of family and community
Just so
One day you could just barge in
No greetings, no warnings
I've been snatched
And decide now is the time I get to know pain
Pin me down to the ground
You'll scar me forever
Called in a "specialist"
Old woman torturer
It's a full time job
Who with ***** nails and wrinkled hands
With whatever sharp tool they could find
Laying around, what's on demand
Starts to cut, to etch
To scratch and scrape out parts of me
Touch sacred ground
Taking away what's mine forever
What I didn't yet know much about
But one thing I do know
They made sure it hurt
I don't understand, Ma
What have I done to deserve this?
White and red flashes
Dots of light
Someone is screaming
Loud
Till my voice cracks and finally gives out
After how long I couldn't tell
I passed out
But not for long
Conscious again just in time
Blurry eyes
To feel the faceless monster
Use thorns to mend
Trying to held together
What she has destroyed almost completly
Taken from me
Forever
And you're the orchesstrator of the crime
Almost unspeakable
Even if I'd regain my voice
You let this happen to me
Even helped!
Why? Why? Why?
What have I done to you?
Where did we go wrong?
"She's lost her innocence
She's all grown now"
No not lost but taken
In the most violent, cruel way
The highest sin, the biggest betrayal
For it came from within,
From the most trusted, my own, my family
Literally raised me as a lamb
To the slaughter
Threw me in the dirt
Kept me on the ground
And watched me get cut with open eyes
Who listened to my voice break and give out
Begging, sobbing, shaking
Mommy make it stop
And you still call me dear daughter
After?
What nerve
How did you feel
When you saw me rest
Barely alive
While infections running wild
In my body?
Lying there helplessly
Still somewhat there, alive but not really
Caged in some ditch
Hidden away for weeks or eternity
Who can say
If I'm "lucky" I won't die here
In a poddle of my own ***, pus and blood
Unable to move, eat or sleep
A stick stuck between my legs
What once was a *****
To clog the drain
I have no tears left in me to weep
It was done as it has been for generations
It is our culture, normal in our tribe
You outsider can't possibly understand
It is proper
To torture your own daughter
Do like she did to me before
My own mother
So some man can check later
That you're ready for marrige
To make sure
Your body never know pleasure
Where's the **** lover boy?
So you forever know your place
Before you really know anything
Marked for life
We'll tell your friends, your children later
About the honour
Don't worry
We'll cut you open and sew you up again
When you get into labour
We'll do it again and again
We got you sister, you and your sisters sister
Only then do you belong
When yu're cut down to form
To fit the norm
Maybe in another life
Another lifetime
You can begin to understand
And heal
In another world maybe
You could get your revenge
On your perpetrators and their friends