If I don't find a table to sit at
soon
A group of people, a place where I belong
who support each other
someplace where I am appreciated and sought out
with a purpose and a role to play
I don't think I'm gonna make it.
But I don't know how
I've never learned
and I'm running out of time.
I feel like I missed out on a lot,
a lot of potential lost
over the time,
due to circumstances
Always on the outside spectating,
speculating how it would be
to scared, frozen in place by fear to try
never truly part of something
nver part of the picture
Always trying to stay safe,
yet still hurt in the end
pathetic to myself
politely overlooked and set aside
I was nobodys priority, except for my parents
who could never seem to help either
There seems to be something wrong with me
or maybe wrong the world, or both
makes no difference in the end
a failure from the start
I'm different but not special, not the good kind
I'm there if needed, reliable, dependeable
although lost I'm your guy
hard working, compromising, sacrificing
to earn my worth, my space
I lost my health, my joy, my innocence
no boundaries in place
Full of fears, of origins long forgotten
surviaval instincts that might have saved me then
but are ony a hinderance now
trapped in my bubble, my cage
Trying my best to stay still, to stay put,
stay quiet
they might not notice me here,
avioding the occasional rattle,
a poking from the outside
Being unable to risk means being unable to enjoy your life
which makes me lost
soon
a lost cause