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Brother Jimmy Aug 2017
Pharmacea
Come and renew us
Pour out the new us
Lessen our pain
Soap in our beer
Doesn't faze us
Purple haze us
Over and again
Take away our silly lack
Sure it seems to bring some knack
How it seems so, but in reality
Real malady
Only takes hold
Over the bold
Markings that my essence
Scribbled in your presence
Brother Jimmy Aug 2017
Far too furiously
I see the flames engulfing
Rivers of fuel
Entering the hallway...

Vividly lighting the ceiling
I note that that's where it dwells
Scorching it's way past light fixtures and crown molding
It flows and glows brightly
Over our heads
Never ceasing
Brother Jimmy Aug 2017
The world is in chaos
Rationality is dead

My role-models are ******
And I'm stuck in my head


The dread! The dread!
It ***** at my legs

It's muck and mire
Here in the dregs
~
From a farther
            vantage point~
It is  ...comical


So
      annoint
                  Your heads,
Adorn your beds
Eat your breads (full of gluten)

Stick your boot in
To the mud
And laugh aloud
Stand
Be proud

Of all your minuscule kingdoms
Brother Jimmy Aug 2017
I just don't know what to make of it
Give it all to Him, you said
I think I need some time away
You both seem so different than in the old days

We're apart when we're together
The tensions grow and shrink,
N always wanting me to stay,
Yet spending our whole time on links

I don't know what to make of it
It's the isolation amidst the masses
The loneliness when we aren't alone
Pushing me toward the brink

How am I supposed to deal with it all?
Give it all to Him?

How is that done, exactly?

Fine.

HELLO THERE LORD, can you HEAR ME?
     <crickets>

WHAT AM I TO DO WITH THIS UNBEARABLE WEIGHT?

AND THE LUMP
IN MY THROAT?

...And the fear...
...And the hate...

It is hard
Here in this incredibly strange place
With no access to you
Save the memory of your face

Alive and awake here
In my own skin
The pain is too difficult
And so I fall again

But now taking inventory
Observing my own thoughts
And noting without judgment
The actions and the oughts

I'm tangled and impeded
In circumstance, it seems
Perhaps I'll learn to let go...

Please visit me in dreams
Brother Jimmy Aug 2017
Go unmasked boldly

Out into the daylight realm

With your wildly changed faces

You will surely overwhelm
Brother Jimmy Aug 2017
I don't know what it is I should do
And I don't know what I should say
I'm not equipped to deal with this ****
Your life (all lives) slipping away

I wish there existed a way
To just ...pull you right back down
For another year, and another day
Wish that we could keep you around
I'm not ready, not at all
I can't deal with the wages of the fall
I thought you were going to rally and
Stay and hold your firstborn's hand ...

Look,

I was glad to be your son

(Just don't ever tell anyone)
Brother Jimmy Aug 2017
"Too suicidy?", she asked,
(as if there were gradations)

The cosmic existential choice
Will cross my mind quite often,

But mostly when I'm overwhelmed
By those slings and arrows Hamlet mentions

Though fortune is sometimes with me and sometimes against me,
It is outrageous, ...always.

The temptation presupposes a never ending rest...

And whether or not "rest" is an accurate description of death,

It amounts to a self-perception of laziness...

and so I would not base the choice to continue existing

On whether or not 'tis noble but on whether or not it's ideal.

And if I consider the specifics and various methods ...and especially the fallout...
It is less than ideal.

Plus all the birds and spiders
Would miss their bard.
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