Looked down on
You had to climb a ladder
A superficial evaluation
Nevertheless made me cry
My soul that’s yet had a chance to rest
But still it made me cry
I do not want to be good
My heart and mind always fight
I make myself be good
At least I try to try
It’s ******* days like this
When you tear down something I worked so hard to build
But at least the bricks made from clock ticks
Will go to good use

I used to crave a cold hotel room
Martinis for just the olive
$200 shoes
I used to crave nighttime talks
Headache relief
And approval
Now I just crave you

Thought the bell would ring
No
Thought the bird would sing
No
Can’t believe me
So deceiving
Everything I felt not true
From infatuation to who are you
I can’t make up my mind
And I already had made you mine

I get Bored quick
Bored quick
And quicker as I get older
I get sick quick
Sick of small talk and dead ends
Sick of handshake. Smile. Pretend
I can’t stick with it
I can’t stick
I get bored quick

Can you engage with me in an affair, a fantasy
Or at least get so close to the edge you can feel the wind beneath your feet
Will you engage with me in *** on a desk
In hidden texts
And backseat tangled legs
Can you give me enough
Just something
To wash this taste from my tongue

Your cursive outlines the scratch of my pen
Which scribbles through my brain an ideal life of us together but my gestures remain in vain because you won’t give in

Thank you for leaning in
It validated my feelings some
It validated what I think your feelings are
But I won’t ever know