We were holding hands as the snow started falling. Your face was red, as if you had been crying. As it covered the trees, the scenery changed. The heat from your body met mine in brief stages. I was falling in love in the silence, you were perfect, wrapped tight in your scarf. I knew you became lost in your thoughts, mapping every feeling out. I never felt closer to heaven, as my limbs slipped away from brain.  I wished forever, to be stuck in that beautiful day.

Sometimes even a wave coated in star light can't bring me to believe your wish came true.

Things that shine tend to be at their best already
Knowing that I can appreciate all things dull.

Why is it that every streetlight
Every passing plane
Every headlight
Every voice
Every face
everyone
Reminds me of you

I know for now we will never be close or at least close enough for me to feel the heat coming off of your skin. Covering mine like the sunlight on a freezing day. I loved that about you, the storms that followed you. I loved being Swept Away in it, being pulled apart just to be pieced back together. Nothing ever felt the same after that. How the hair on my neck would stand when you would kiss me, or the hours we spent with our eyes closed, guessing who was blinking. Not knowing that one day we would regret not staring into each other's eyes. Because of how badly we would want that time back, the seconds we could have had, in love, together.

Knowing that we would eventually spend the rest of our lives, looking out windows into the past. Remembering the dialogue lightly but the feelings constantly.

The wind glides across the table,
Stiff fall leafs take flight.
On their way to a different destination,
Twirling up and down.
Yellow and orange flicker against the sunlight,
Looks like glowing ambers dancing.
They settle along the cornfields and scarecrows,
October is rounding the corner again.

Her heart was like a fall leaf, hardened  and always on the move. Losing little pieces of herself everywhere the wind took her.

Her eyes were like black holes with galaxies spinning within them. I was eager to be a part of her, even if it meant losing all of myself in the process.

I could swim through wormholes until the universe ends and I'm certain I'll never find anyone like you. I'd be a billion light years away, still clutching that same photograph.

I've finally realized that all these words were never meant to make you feel special.
I only used your ghost over the years to calm mine. Now that the ringing has finally stopped lovely,
so can you.

The clouds still remain and the sea still crashes to shore. I don't know how I wrapped myself up for so long. I almost forgot the feeling of sunshine on my skin or the weird satisfaction of seeing your breath in a winters mist. I forgot these things because I simply had no space for them. I held so tightly to the things you said my own voice began to fade. I've missed you everyday since until I realized how quickly I became nothing more then a person trapped in a photograph to you. I could have been anyone on that day and that wouldn't have changed a thing. So today I will I dig a hole on the beach and sleep beside it. I will allow all the beautiful memories to leave my head one by one as I dream of them. They will eventually settle inside the sandy hole I've dug for them and wait to be swallowed by the tide. I will awake tomorrow without knowledge of your existence and I will begin to remember myself.

There's no sleep for the traveling heart, as the mind is always ticking. Unable to keep steady enough hands, to ever hold another's properly. Her face stays tucked away for nights, when the alcohol brings her to the surface. In my head she's dancing through the streets of a foreign city, the rain falls as her hair curls and sticks together. She's smiling as the mascara runs from her eyelashes, and just as she runs her fingers across her head, she disappears within the mist.

I was an abandoned home until I heard your voice. My walls were crumbling until you reminded me what it's like to be held. I  had almost forgot that darkness is followed by sunlight. With the warmth you bring to me, I no longer need to be whole. I've accepted that some things just get lost over the years and the people who spend too much time trying to find them, get lost themselves. I'm not saying I haven't wandered but it feels **** good to be home again.

She was the hand that shakes with age, stubborn to turn the page. She was set far in her ways just routinely passed her days. I loved her for a year and she never knew me near. When she dreams it's shooting stars, burning bright like flaming cars. Everything she touches grows inside except her heart she always hides.

I remember you standing at the tip of the shore as lights from a near by bridge reflected off the waves. You motioned back and fourth as you walked me through your day. I tried to miss it but I couldn't, there was a look at one point and it was so clear we messed up. I wanted to be there so badly and for once you, who never has enjoyed the long term-company of anyone; wanted the same. A pair of  arms wrapped around you to comfort the chill and a warm pair of lips to greet your forehead. I imagined your feet tangled in mine as we spoke throughout the night of space and time. How vast and unforgiving, was the universal theme and how amazing it was to finally feel some comfort. At that point it didn't matter if the sky fell because we my dear, were falling with it.(I never was a fan of  parachutes)

The weight of your body and the pressure of your lips. Leaves me in suspension. Endlessly gravitating ever closer to you. Until two points become one machine, one that's built to withstand all of time. In short, I'll spend every moment I have madly in love with you.

What are the odds we speak again? Possibly in a different time. Where we can meet again as strangers, and fall in love all over again.

Lay, calm and still. I'll put the kettle on. Our sunday morning routine begins. She lays in bed and rolls from side to side. Occasionally extending her arms to stretch away the nights rest. I, boil the water and line the ceramic mugs evenly on the counter. Tea bags already placed inside and tied to the handle. As the sun creeps through the blinds, it's heat settles into the wooden floors. From the kicchen I can hear the sound of our vinyl player dropping a record into place. Then, as the music slowly starts, the kettle begans to whistle. A soft morning kiss and our day has begun.

You said you would be that light across the dock, the one you used to speak of.  The one that even if the fog rolled in and engulfed everything in view, it would never dull . You said you would be like a compass if I had ever got lost. Well, that time has came and that light is no longer vibrant. The Wolves howl along the tree lines, and the moon lays perfectly on the lake. I'm trying my best to navigate through the darkness and stars, leaving small objects to be found by. I've ventured quite far this time and fear this trip may be permanent. I have to say the forest at night is quite peaceful, life happening all around you. The acoustics of the owls and cracking branches. The leafs blowing about and the insects chirping. There's just so much more going on then we care to notice. Something tells me I'll be alright out here. Something tells me I never needed that light to find home.

I know the oil of my skin still lingers on your fingertips. My voice still repeats through old voicemails as you break old photographs down into increments and seconds. Your friends carry news of your happiness and impending engagement. I hope you are still able to achieve everything you aimed for and I hope he never finds out that it would be impossible for you to love him like you loved me. Those things only happen once, if they happen at all.

Darling, I have eyes for only you.
Faulty as they may be,
I promise not to blink.
In fear of missing the second,
you decide to notice me too.

I don't want material things, or money. I just need time, just a little extra time. I need to see the mountains blanketed by waterfalls and smell the ocean salt on my skin.  airplanes, airports, and ***** white vans. Coffee, craft beer, and sunsets. That's about it.

I'm feeling a little weaker now, that you have finally decided to leave. There's not an ocean deep enough to chain me beneath, I'll still see the sun and compare it to your eyes. I'll still feel the knifes from when you said your goodbyes. Darling, times standing still, as my fingers tap nervously. Lying to myself, about how this couldn't be purposely. It's impossible to think all that love could be gone, or that there's a stranger in your room, putting your shirt back on.*

I've spent the last week hoping that I'd be fine, I've written hundreds of poems that I tried to trap you inside. But you seep through the cracks, you always remain. Your the one person I loved I guess I couldn't escape.

Are you proud babe?
well you should be.

We have chosen the harder road, the one where quiet lips last forever. Ghost spend the calendar year accompanying us. Occasionally sending a soft breeze down your neck to keep you guessing. The stars dim a little closer to non-existence, but remain the same to eyes so far away. As we stare into separate mirrors
but always find one another.

It was easy you know
To fall in love with you
It was the very moment I laid eyes on you
I can make this very drawn out and wrap my words in a thousand metaphors
but it was simple
Probably easiest thing I've ever done

There were bones on bones, covered by warming flesh. Marks were left on my neck, from where your lips had pressed. We sat and we spoke, about stars and the sky. We talked about living forever and about how we both would die. It was unreal how easy this was and it was clear these moments do not repeat. Underneath those summer street lights, you became a part of me.

He tries his best to ignore the beads of water forming on his eyelashes as he settles on a park bench. He stares blankly across an empty field lost in a memory from years back. Hand in hand two phantoms walked, barley visible as water blanketed them. He listened in as they spoke about the butterflies forming in their stomachs. Laughing uncontrollably every now and then, and about absolutely nothing. Question she says, " you think I'm beautiful?". I think your beyond beautiful he lipped without a single sound. Following the phantom's dialogue word for word. As the rain picked up, he snapped out of the moment; unfulfilled. At least I had it once he said, at least I know what it feels like.

When the sun goes,
I find myself haunted by you.
I've convinced myself I've gone mad,
after all these years.
Finding comfort in waiting for you each time I close my eyes.

I've been living with such delicate walls here, bracing at every slight  disturbance. At night I imagine the outline of your body surrounded by a billion stars. Even in all that beauty it's hard to excuse the pressure of his finger prints throughout your skin.

I'm sorry, I was never able to move you with words. You deserved to feel like the only women in existence and the only one with my absolute love.  I've thought it out a thousand times the perfect poem to make you remember me.  I wasn't born with a spark in my fingertips or on my lips.  I know there's no debating that and if there was it wouldn't matter. I've filled notebooks and laptops with thousands of words but they will never do what you did; with a smile. I've spent months trying to forget everything about you but somehow I seem to just remember more. I've been embedding  you into the very seams of my skin, the last layer of protection for the faulty skeleton I've become.

The wind along your neck is mistaken for her breath. Your eyes begin to close. Can you see her laying along side you? Can you feel her body heat tangling with yours? Is she rubbing her feet against yours? Over and over again, like she's marking her territory. She's completely un-layered.Her hair settled between your fingers as she falls asleep to your heartbeat. Dreaming, dreaming about how she wishes it wasn't a dream. Wishing you were falling back in love with her.

One day I will find a way to trap the clouds and I will shape them just for you. Everyday they will cycle the memories of our time together so as you lay beneath them, you will remember how I loved you so.

Our memories will remain our best kept secrets.
Lingering like held piano keys.

Beth, don’t let me break now, as I see you dancing throughout the house. You were always the stronger one, always smoothing over my not so perfect parts. I’m still waiting for you to walk through the front door. Shivering as you hang up your winter coat, and then smiling as you run to the warmth inside my arms. The memories  are becoming stronger every day your gone. Last night I sat out on our back porch and listened to the sound of rain drops. Imagining that every drop on my cheek was a soft kiss from your lips. Goosebumps crawling up my arms, leaving that weightless feeling inside my stomach; like you always did. I found myself smiling, hoping you were watching somewhere and smiling too. In short, I’ll carry you with me forever. Every wrinkle on my aging skin a constant reminder that soon we will be holding hands again.

Was it time,that really made us distant? The transition between strangers beds and arms. The words, the feelings, the promises, or the waking up after everythings gone. Here we are, back at square one trying to figure ourselves out. Pretending we are much stronger then we really are. I can still smell the perfume you wore our last night together. The words "I Love You" still appear on my mirror after a hot shower. The records are still in the order you left them in. I'm not sure I've ever really tried to forget you but I can't seem to remember your face.