I looked at the sky last night

when the sun after shining bright, for half the day

had given way to this floating dome

to show the colours of its own

A billion stars like a billion rings

adorned the billion ears up high

like fireflies who with frozen wings

got stuck in a canvas blue to die

a thousand shades the canvas bled

or was it just messy art instead

of a child who spilled water colours together

and gazed at the dancing blues, whites and red

the canvas was heavy, the canvas was light

like a billion mammoths on a cosmic flight

but it's a dancing picture it never keeps still

and soon all the stars and the moonlight will

give the sun the stage as it'll cry a dawn

and this illusion will then be gone

and my sprinting clock will take a turtle's pace

as I'll wait for another night with my mind ablaze.

we both stay empty and desolate

you live in the darkness of everyday chores

living a thankless life, the only remark getting is how time inefficient you are

only if i could tell you that your son is not far

away from that dark pit in which you prolly have been for decades now

dear mom,

at least you can still complain about how we don't see you work hard all day

and just scream mindlessly when the food

you made lacked some salt, or wasn't that good

and only difference with your son being

that he cries on a notepad, feeling the shame to shed those tears in real life as he learnt every man should

dear mom,

my tear glands have grown bankrupt, have i gone too numb?

but then a part of me always burns whenever you think i don't care, about you and dad, for you think, i think you are too dumb

but i tried to start a conversation on the dinner table last night

until it became a fight yet again, but its okay for this pain isn't new

i guess its because my notepad doesn't speak much, that's why it knows how much i crave even so much as a touch

from someone, let alone a hug, that'd be too much

dear mom,

maybe you were true all along

maybe its me in the wrong

else why do i have my notepad and cat

and no-one else

karma is a true ***** indeed then it seems

dear mom,

you know its fun when you can tell that a dream isnt real

even when you are dreaming

for the only the only chats i've been having lately is when my eyes are shut

but i cant tell you that for i lack the guts to say or to anyone else around me for that matter

that hey i think i am feeling a bit gay lately although i am straight still

does that make me tilt

towards being partly bi?

but yeah, i'd prolly die than say that loud

and i really don't know how this wall between us came about

and i don't know if this divide will ever break

or will it be my soul corroding away bit by bit

but don't you worry mama, imma love you still as i did when i was five

and tell dad i admire how much he does for us for i cant ever say him even that much

i'm sorry for everything.....

Hunger pangs are hard to bear

when streams of acid flows through the linings of your gut

and your body and mind and soul unite in one of the rarest few occasions of your life

all screaming the same need

its hard to bear

ask a starving beggar what priceless means and he'd prolly show you the rotten morsels he found near the trash can on which he will feast his week long starving hunger for a week more

dysentery and diarrhea doesn't exist in his world of hunger

and perhaps filling the tummy with heaps of rotten trash and dying after is better than dying without having anything

and I get it still, for a part of us lives on what we grow and ****

but when the stomach replaces the heart

and once again the mind meets the body and soul, shouting this time for a different food

will you be a beggar still and feed yourself the nearest dirt you find just to keep your tummy filled?

because you will die otherwise?

or will you?

cant we be just plants sometimes and produce our own food like forever? I keep wondering.....

I am quite skinny but I find it fair

for never did I care to lift barbells in the air

but the muscles of my mind I strangely cannot find

although they have been lifting ever since I could stare

I was dead for a billion years before
And i will be dead for a billion more
It's this trickling time between
That i perform on life's dancing floor

A dance, a terrible one it is
I weep and cry, I slumber i please
As the waves of living go up and down
I wish more wokeness, I wish more sleep

The most powerful of creatures, unbound and free
The greatest thinker who could ever be
You smallest of specks, an insignificant wee
I feel it in you, you feel it in me.

The softest of breeze the darkest of nights
The largest of beings who blinds the light
We've been all tapping around this dancing floor
We're all gems of a crown or too less for it's might

Like them triplets in their never ending lore
You'll have me lost yet you'll fine me more
Lend an ear to me then and you'll find me dancing still
For i was dead for a billion years before
And I will be dead for a billion more