I sat in front of my room's mirror
As I contemplated my reflection
I, at least made sure I still exist
But in what way does my existence prove to the world that I am here
In a world where time and space are only an illusion,
I have always asked myself whether here and now are really here and now, still I'm getting no response
I wonder how could you bear all of this nonsense, or maybe you just don't.
one can never knows what happens in another person's life
Yet he judges him for being him.

Yes, I am a darkened soul and yes lights do scare me, for it reveals the finest  layers hided in the dust of my inner insecurities
Lights are made for the simplest minds who are not afraid of being exposed. As they got no pain deep down their souls therefore no wounds to heal in the dark.

But not me, my body is a graveyard of feelings just like the sky is for the stars.

I run without destination for the sole purpose of getting far away
And that's what existence is all about
Running in a vicious circle called life.
A circle that has nor starting points nor finishing lines.
But what if I want my running to stop
What if I'm tired of running
What if my weak feet cannot bare the weight of my body anymore?  

They tell me you should get a rest
Yea, probably I should
But would the voices inside my head stop, too?
For my head is a jungle full of sounds that never shut up
A full time jukebox playing a cliché song that never ends.

Maybe none of you is interested in a story of a girl with voices
And I understand.
We live in a society where everyone choses to ignore others' pains but who ironically insists on sharing their joys.

Some flowers grow out of nothing  They defy harshness and decide to love life instead of praying for its end.
I wish I had their strength, I wish I loved life.

I am not a life lover, and I remember my mother telling me that love is the only thing one cannot impose on you.
But mum, here they are blaming me for not loving "my life"

"Never settle for less" I quoted
But don't I always settle for less?
Insecure, weak and vulnerable
I chose to swim in a fish bowl while I stand for the sea.

Second choice, second woman and friend
Funny thing is I was never good at maths
What comes above number one is something I ignored
I was the first child, the first in my class and the first one people usually notice.

And then I grew older, and "first" did not belong to me anymore.