I think I might be broken,
Now I know that seems strange,
But I'm loosing all my colour,
And everythings turning grey.

My life used to be in subtle pastels,
Some friends faces would glow gold,
But now everyone seems washed out,
Like it's just a side effect of growing old.

My sisters all shine a grieving red,
My Mother a drowning blue,
My Grandparents colours seem to have fled,
Like maybe they're washed out too.

The green grass I live on is quickly turning yellow,
The brown leaves of dying tree's remind me of loss,
As the bright and excitable gradually turn mellow,
Isn't it a shame what "Just existing costs?"

I am a mediocre person,
I do not live to please.
I do what I want, when I like,
Calmly passing like an autumn breeze.

A majority of my work is lackluster.
My things are left to grow mould,
As I grew up in a female cluster,
Of, "Girls are to do what they're told".

A robotic schedule has taught me,
That freedom will fall apart in my hands.
As real freedom is actually,
To embrace what I do not understand.

When the weather is cold and dreary,
I think of when the sun used to play,
But then I remember warm and clearly,
That the sun rises everyday.

I am a mediocre person,
I do not live to please.
This society does not define me,
So do not be shocked when I leave.

The only flowers that don't die are fake ones,
People are flawed,
It's just the truth.

But you still expect perfection,

Even though it always rains where you live,
And there's a leak from your roof.

Now I know it would be hypocritical of me to point out your wrongs.

When where I live the boilers broken,
And I know you hate one of my favourite songs,
But it screams the words that cannot be spoken.

The only flowers that don't die are fake ones,
people are flawed,
It's just the truth,

But you still expect perfection.

You must have been ruined in your youth.

The feeling of your dissapointment was palpable,
I could taste it on my tongue like I hadn't brushed my teeth in days,
And feel it thick in the atmosphere,
Like heavy smoke from a forest fire.

The grey bags under my eyes did nothing but exclaim my insomnia,
When you told me that maybe I just wasn't going to bed at the right time.
And frustration swam round my bloodstream as I just couldn't get the right pitch to that song I alsways used to sing.

The melancholy rumble from my gut,
Reminded me that I was alone unless I had a full stomach,
My figure didn't matter,
Cause neither I, Let alone anyone else sexualised it.

(No one of my own age that is)

Sleep deprivation rushes round me like gale force winds from a tropic storm,
Lack of money burns holes in my pockets,
and wanderlust nags at my brain like overdue assignments from a College wreck,
Whilst everyones moaning infects me like a plague,
when I find stress spots crawling up my neck.

I am generation Z,
Generation nothing,
Generation give up,
Generation what the ****?
Generation, "Who the hell told you I could live like this?"

But I am privileged,
In a house,
But I am not me.

I am grieving.

I am grieving myself again.

Do not take those you love for granted,
Because one day they will be gone,
Like my Mother's old and tired violin,
They'll be far too rusty to play songs.

Give them chances and understanding,
Hold them when they cry,
Forgive them when they make you angry,
Don't waste your time explaining why.

Give them encouragment when they feel uncertain,
Help them up when they fall down,
If doubts come flooding in keep them afloat with your person,
Making sure they do not drown.

Do not take those you love for granted,
Because one day they will be gone,
And just like my mother's old and tired violin,
You will be damaged but you'll just have to carry on.

Nothing worth having comes easy,
That's just a lesson I've learned,
And sometimes when there are things we desperately want,
We have to be paitient and wait our turn.

Those you love will sometimes annoy you,
Or hurt you in some kind of way,
But still that does not diminish the value,
Of them coming back to see if you're ok.

At times the weather can be miserable,
But the sun always comes out in the end,
So take a deep breath and march on,
Treating the world like your best friend.

You don't dig up the dead.
That's just one of lives main rules.

So why are you crowding round my heart?,
Looking for old feelings to use.

You have a kind heart so you will struggle,
Although this is sad, it is true,
But if you hold onto hope you'll get somewhere,
A place of fresh air and something new.

There are vicious circles you will have to go round,
But with every bruise there comes a lesson,
And sometimes we stumble over ourselves,
But strong arms will catch us and warm voices will ease your tension.

You have a long road ahead of you,
One with cracks, bumps and hills,
So yes, sometimes you will fall down and cry,
But other times you'll be laughing at the thrills.

Please remember this my lovely,
There are some things you cannot change,
and although you will shake and you will be anxious,
Through courage and bravery is how great lives are made.

You say you can't see yourself with anyone else,
That you want to keep me forever,
But I feel as though our love is weak,
And can be severed by a feather.

Although, this is hard to say,
As there are pictures of you in my room,
Darling, You better start pulling your weight,
Or I'll be leaving you soon.

Your Dad says that I'll be his daughter in law,
But we both know that's not true,
Cause we could spend a whole summer apart,
And not in one second would I miss you.

My family think that you're the one,
But in my mind I know that's not fair,
Cause all you ever do is rip me apart,
And leave my soul in despair.

We're going nowhere,
Like a car that's broken down,
Or a king that's stopped his reign,
Cause someone's smashed his crown.

Or we're playing a bored game,
But you don't realise it's your turn,
So I wait and I wait,
As my insides rot and my thoughts churn.

I've tried to be patient,
But my heart is wearing thin,
Cause if you don't bother at all,
How'd you expect us to win?

I've tried my best,
But it's your turn now,
So don't just sit there baffled,
Like I'm the one who's made you frown.

I cried eggshells out my eyes last night,
And they lay broken on the floor.

I’ve learnt to catch a few in the palms of my hands,
Cause if I don’t it makes peoples feet sore.

I was mean to my sister the other day,
And then she started crying,
I was mean because she told me, "You never help".
When all week I'd been trying.

She tugs my heart strings of frustrated symphonies,
Makes me feel bad when I stand up for myself,
Then complaines to my Mother about my horrible behaviour,
As if she didn't induce it when like stones her words pelt.

I'd swim oceans to save her drowning mind,
But she never seems to care,
So she yells, sighs and stomps like a child of two,
Whilst in frustration I pull at my hair.

You didn't like the fact I had leg hair,
So I showed you my armpit hair too,
Then you grimanced in utter disgust,
Just how shallow are you?

This natural thing that grows,
All over your body aswell,
Has you cringing and backing away,
Are you tangled up in some hair like hell?

Do you scream when you see beards?
Or carry a razor everywhere you go?
You've got to get the stupid idea out of your head,
That on ladies hair doesn't grow.

I wanted to get a wasp tattooed onto my arm,
But you didn't like the idea.
The wasp is meant to represent my internal battle,
of your acceptance, my desperation, but mostly the fear.

The fear that you wouldn't like what I was doing,
Because Mother is God in the eyes of a child.
Yet, ironically, you raised me to think for myself,
Bohemian and wild.

The tattoo is supposed to remind me,
that sometimes when you feel life is falling apart,
it's just life falling into place,
like when your disapproval smashes against my heart.

The blood of the lamb is smeared,
above my front door.
Protecting me from mockery, demons, the devil,
And many more.

A candle burns above my fireplace,
reminding me of your light,
knowing that I am safe from all harm,
tucked into bed at night.

Your voice whispers warmly,
into my ear.
keeping away the dreadful thoughts,
cleansing my mind of fear.

Your name powerful enough,
to make the darkness hide.
A symbol of your sacrifice,
strong wings stretched wide.

Forgiveness and love,
your humble being preaches,
and when I see a white dove,
you're in the middle of one of your speeches.

Smiling wide, living,
You catch me when I fall,
And if I ever feel I am being pushed down,
You lift me up so I am tall.

If I were the Earth,
You'd be the sun.

Sometimes when I'm trying to sleep,
I hear the names of people whispered into my ear.
The great characters that I will meet,
And the horrible ones I shouldn't go near.

I think about where life is going,
Completely freaking myself out,
Knowing my friends like when it's raining or snowing,
But my minds in an endless drought.

The hearts I've met with their steady rhythms,
Some black but most red,
Remind me of the feigned smiles I have given,
As their emotions infiltrated my head.

If you're sensitive to the people around you,
It's best to be on your own for a trial,
Until you finally meet somebody new,
Who makes all your patience worthwhile.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I want to stroke your back when you’re upset or in pain.
I want to laugh at the silly things you say,
Or the random letters you add to a word,
Like that time, you went to say “Impossible”,
But ended up saying “Imposhable”.
And we died on the fourth round of **** zombies because we were laughing so much.

You’re a ****** but you’re my ******,
So yeah, I want to spend the rest of my life with you,

And maybe one day you’ll remember to bring your tortoise in from the garden,
So we’ll have a laugh trying to find him.
Eventually we will,
but only after we’ve wiped away the tears of joy,
Streaming down our faces.

You're worth more than your anxiety tells you,
Those voices are not real.

I'll shut them up with my love for you,
Reminding you how to feel.

My heart was made of glass,
And you smashed it on the floor.

No explanation, you just laughed,
But it made me want you more.

I cannot blame my Father,
For the vile things his heart did.

To hate is so simple,
What's difficult is to forgive.

I like my stomach,
I like my face.
I also like that my nostrils are weirdly misshaped,
And those hollow scars I have on my left arm,
From a really bizarre spot infection,
That later came to no harm.

I like the moles that are in awkward places,
Freckles on my nose,
Filling other bland spaces.

I like the way I waddle when I walk,
Or stutter when I talk,
I like the way I am.

I like my wacky behaviour when I'm with friends,
Or my unforgiving laughter when the day nears an end.

I like that I cry over the most stupid things
And that I can pay for thousands of chocolate bars,
But can't afford diamond rings,

And yeah, I like the way I am,
Cause confidence is key.

But most of all,
I like that I can look at myself in the mirror,
And be proud of what I see.

Tell me I'm not crazy,
Tell me I'm sane.

Oh, but maybe,
You're the one dissecting my brain?

I recall the memories,
biting down ******* my thumb,
as you tried to hide your deceit with smiles,
to sugar-coat all you'd done.

But I have sensitive ears that listen,
and as you spoke I heard the venom drip,
from your tongue cascading onto the carpet,
as the rough fabric burned with a violent hiss.

Then the smell of the smoke that was poisonous,
as your acidic words swirled in the air,
you grinned wide showing all your rotten teeth,
decaying from the sweetener you'd placed there.

I was walking home,
And I swear I saw,
Somewhere in the sky,
The clouds forming into a laughing man,
As another soul kissed this world Goodbye.

We’re both very awkward,
But it works very well.
I can’t imagine life without you,
Cause in my heart you always dwell.

Your laughter sporadic yet tantalizing,
Is a beautiful sound to me,
Even if you do sound like a lost seagull,
Being chased by a cat up a tree.

What do you want me to say?
What the **** do you want me to do?

If you do end up killing yourself,
I will not make a martyr out of you.

You slate me again,
and I'll take your name apart letter by letter,
Until your left to nothing but a sobbing mess,
as your infected, rotten heart eats away at your skin,
Weeping out of your chest.

It's sad when things fade. Like when friends drift apart,
Or that song you used to listen to on repeat becomes boring.
Really, It’s not sad.
Just you moving on with your life,
Evolving into a fresher, more complex version of yourself.

Time moves ridiculously quickly.
No one ever thinks to pause and look around for a bit.
We can't take life for granted.
It can be taken from us at any second of any day to yourself,
Or those you love.

Don't judge people.
Don't wish people harm.
Just learn to accept and appreciate those around you a lot more then you do now,
Cause I bet you've spent your life mainly thinking about yourself, and for a while that's good.
Self-healing is good and is a way of rebuilding broken parts.
But once you're superglued back together again, think of others.

Tell your family you love them more,
And when parting for the day give them a hug.
Do nice things for them randomly.
Whenever they're not expecting it.
Plant love like poppy seeds,
And nurture it until it blooms fully and is brighter than first thought possible.

Think for yourself but do not become ignorant.
Debate and embrace others opinions,
So that you do not become small minded or obtuse.

If people try to harm you,
Work out why.
Confront them and demand an answer,
But do not shout. Remain calm and collected.
If they have not got a proper reason (Not that there ever is one)
Take them out of your life.
Erase them and their negativity.
The hate will fade away.

They cannot affect you if you do not let them.

Remain strong.
Remain honest.
But most of all,
Remain yourself.

I don't like you,
or the way that you think.

I detest your judgemental brain,
An empty vessel, like The Titanic you sink.

You are not a hindrance,
You’re anything but a problem.

Why are your ears deceiving you?
Your eyes blur what you can see.

Your body seems to hate you,
But please don’t take it out on me.

What I love about the Internet,
Is all the people I haven't met.

The humour that is shared,
It's the comfort when people are scared.

It's for when you're bored sat at home,
and it makes you feel less alone.

Because you know someone else is bored too.

It's the friends in foreign countries,
the cultures to embrace.

It's the debates and conversations,
in person, some people are too afraid to make.

What I love about the internet,
Is that we're all caught in its Web,
But maybe that’s why I hate it too.

Your name is sweet,
like honey on my tongue.

but sometimes your actions are sour,
with lemon my tastebuds are stung.

My first sister didn’t pay her parking fine,
I think maybe once or three hundred times.
But my father didn’t care,
Because he’s a ******* billionaire.

So he’s probably sat at home on his new Iphone,
Booking spontaneous trips to Rome,

Whilst my third sister sits in the school foyer,
Heaving for breath,
Choking on a lollipop,
She bought with her last pence.

You don’t understand,
To me losing my faith,
Is like cutting off my right hand.

You don’t discriminate against,
Gender, race or inquisition,
But you judge me for my religion?

You take my words,
Then twist them with your ignorant tongue,
Like I am some sort of disease that rats have brung.

And condemn me to being an idiot,
Like you’re not a ******,
For refusing to accept my beliefs.

No matter how much you judge me,
No matter how strong you hate,
You will never stop me believing,

Because your opinion is weak compared to my faith.

She's got healing hands,
and a brain full of wisdom.
She will not conform to society's system.
Bohemian is her middle name,
and just like a fire she cannot be tamed.

A lioness she is when protecting her young,
and bullet wounds through your chest,
when they shoot from her tongue.

A Warrior is known.
who is kind and strong,
as she teaches us to do right,
and forgives us for our wrongs.

She sings hyms,
as bright as the sun,
and I am so very happy,
That she is my Mum.

Real friends are there when you're breaking,
Or to keep you steady when you're roller skating.

Well Adam says to Eve,
"You're made from one of my ribs".
She's says "Nah, Now you're telling fibs".

Superficial feelings seem to run the world,
Along with the idea that to be attractive,
You have to be skinny with teeth as white as pearls.

Whilst you consume sugar,
That gnaws at your bones,
And the smoke that your inhaling,
Helps the Cancer grow.

The salt in your body,
Gives you high blood pressure,
And the drugs that your snorting,
Make friends with Schizoprenia.

How beautiful it is to find,
That your decaying inside,
Whilst your abide in alcohol,
Only kissing people to keep your tongue busy.

But it doesn't matter,
It's never mattered,
Cause at least your pretty.

My Nephew won't stop wailing.

And I thought my Mothers laugh could wake the dead.

I remember when you said,
"Maybe we should leave this town".
I said, "Nah, Sorry Mate. I got too many relatives running around".

You said, "That's alright",
But the furrow of your brow made you looks cross.
And no matter what I say,
It's like you're a fishing line and I'm an albatross.

We've tried talking,
But words just leave things messy.

We've tried ignoring,
But then we get lonely and stressy.

I broke down in secret,
Cried The Nile out to try and staunch the famine.

But only when my heart was ripped out,
Did you finally get a chance to examine,

The wounds that you caused.

I feel empty,
Mumbling my own name in warning.

You have abused your heart too many times,
Now it's timid and doesn't want to play games anymore.

You trusted those you knew you couldn't,
And told yourself you were fine.

But now your heart is so torn apart,
It can't even be stitched back together.

So you sit on the bus home,
Dead in the eyes,
As another passing stranger takes a worried glance.

We danced around the room,
In nothing but our socks,
Receiting weird poetry,
Whilst listening to prog Rock.

Some people are missing out,
When they don't have a friendship as bizarre as ours,
Cause when we lie on the floor staring at the ceiling,
We the see the night sky and the stars.

If emotions were physical things,
Mine would be a gaping wound.

My heart is weak and you ran at it with an axe.
Like you couldn’t differentiate between laughter and screaming.
The tears that fell weren’t happy.
Just like the love you represented wasn’t real.

This  paralysis is scary,
And I don't know what to do.

It's like my heart is a free wild forest,
And my mind contains me like a Zoo.

I'm trying to loose weight,
But I look in the kitchen,
And there's cake,
And a biscuit tin.