I know friends are meant to be always be by your side,
But how can I be friends with a wounded pride?

You take and take and take,
Then never give back.
The amount of times your words have cut me,
And my bloods bled black.

You're never there when I need you,
But you need me all the time,
So I just have bite my tongue,
Everytime you tell me I'm fine.

Do not take the Earth for granted,
It's eroding as we speak.

We've polluted the air and pulled out the plants,
Yet, You wonder why the wind shrieks.

We stretched out our wings,
Soaring remarkably high,
But then you tumbled down,
Because you kept wondering why,

Then when you finally crash landed,
I fixed your broken wing,
With hugs, kisses and duct tape,
Soothing your wounds so they didn't sting.

He snarls his hate righteously,
Leaving Cancer causing chemicals in the air,

And you digest the deceit from his poisonous tongue,
As his lies tangle in your hair.

I'm so grateful,
For the place I call home,
With the friends I will cherish,
and a room to call my own.

For the arguments we've had,
Then the calm after the storm,
For the apologies we muttered,
When a brand new love was born.

For the rain that used to patter,
Leaking on our windowsill,
For all the laughter and the chatter,
Knowing life could only go up hill.

The lurgy man came,

And he infected your brain.

Now there's only a pinch,

Of personality left.

You gave me a friendship bracelet,
And I didn't quite know what to do.
So I just put it on my wrist,
Then wore it everyday for you.

Your laughter is contagious,
Much like a yawn,
That we barely ever do,
Because when we're together there's a storm.

You're going to university soon,
But we'll always keep in touch,
And I'll let you know in every way,
That I miss you very much.

Remember that time I slept round your house,
And let out that enormous ****?
Yeah, That never fails to amuse me,
Just like you'll always be in my heart.

It wasn't their fault at all,
They were used, A plaything to be discarded later.

Four days is all is took,
Four ******* days to find someone new.
This heartless *****, have you heard her laugh?
It's like a bullet through an open wound.

Of course this was bound to happen,
These types of people never change.
Breaking their heart was her work of art,
And the on-lookers made her stage.

A mess she made my friend,
Who was super glued together by hope and lies.
Their calloused fingers couldn't feel out the beauty from betrayal,
So they were stuck dumb and blind.

The puppeteer grew bored,
As she drowned her victim in blood,
And you can say whatever you want,
But that definitely wasn't love.

Don't worry my lovely,
Life plans itself out,
And you can stop an argument,
Without having to shout.

You're allowed to smile for no reason,
And to go on really longs walks,
Also don't think yourself insane,
If you pretend you're on a horse.

Go out with friends!
Be bubbly! or sarcastic, it doesn't matter.
And if your friend looks nice, tell them!
It's a good excuse to flatter.

Forget the past!
We live in the present,
Another day is another gift.

So just be grateful,
That you can breath oxygen,
To fill your lungs and live.

He sips his fruit smoothie,
Then inhaling his cigarette,
How contradictory can someones life get?

If sanity is normal,
Then I want to be insane.
Because normal is ******* boring,
And boredom induces mind numbing pain.

I want to write backwards,
With my non-writing hand,
And I want to travel though Nations,
With only a map to see where I stand.

I want to meet strangers on buses,
Telling them about my day.
Smiling hopefully at her faces,
In that extroverted kind of way.

Then I want to go home,
Making a cup of tea.
Drinking the comfort knowing,
I'm part of a minority.

What if I told you I was lying?
That all I’d revealed to you wasn’t true.
Meaning that all the secrets and terrors I’d shared,
Were just deceiving words to derail you.

Like the consequences to all my actions,
That I did not admit to,
******* up your life in multiple fashions,
All of which I knew.

Or that time you thought you’d lost your footing,
Landing on the ground,
Was actually me with my hand on your back,
Heavily pushing you down.

I’ve deceived you with my smiles,
Eradicated all your hope,
Made you drink a pint of poisonous water,
And on the truth you choked.

You ripped out my heart,
Leaving an open wound across my chest,
You didn't even stitch it up,
And it's become infected since you left.

Well, I knew alcohol was antiseptic,
So I bathed it in whisky and *****.
You left me when I was high of anxiety,
I didn't even get to say that I loved ya.

To heal a wound you have to stop touching it.
So I'm ignoring you.

All the rumours are,
That you kissed me in the dark,
Cause everybody thinks I'm gay with you.

But the truth has always been,
That our behaviour is obscene,
Especially in front of heteronormative views.

So I'm going to hold your hand in public,
And super glue your heart back together,
Because that boy ripped you apart,

Which means I'm here to make you better.

Your lips were soft and sweet,
But they only disguised the sour poison,
That lingered on your tongue.

Everything is breaking.

Why won't you help me?

I have a sore throat,
So I can't really talk right now.
I think it's because I didn't wear my coat,
When the rain was pouring down.

And the grey clouds above me,
Where like your eyebrows frowning because you didn't understand what I meant.
And your shouts were like the hailstones,
Crashing down on the hard cement.

The wind displayed your violence,
Pushing me back making me hide.
Then the sun displayed your remorse,
As you held me when I cried.

Thunder roared your negative thoughts,
When feelings fell from above.
Mimicking snow to get me excited,
Just like you did with your love.

Her beautiful face was burning,
From your words spat like acid.
Her shape to be reconstructed,
Because you didn't like the way it flared out.

As if she is not allowed to control her destiny,
Because "Being allowed is a privilege."
But her face is melting like a candle,
Wax splattering on the floor.

You tell her not to make such a mess,
As you degrade her down more

This relationship is poisonous,
Flowing through her bloodstream,
That used to be pure and healthy.

Ah, You tell me that you love her,
But this is not love,
When she states her opinion,
And you stop her with a hardened shove.

Her face is still melting!
Can you not see?
That all the things you do,
Just end in catastrophe.

Do you believe in ghosts?
Because I swear I’ve seen your eyes before.
And your laugh haunts my ear drums,
Cutting my heart up raw.

This house is built for Phantoms,
No one can get over things,
Always bringing up memories,
That make my old scars sting.

And the faces I remember,
Never seem to look the same,
They appear gaunt and tired.
As if they’ve been consumed by shame.

Your history will follow you,
No matter how long you last,
Just make sure you remember,
You can never truly escape the past.

I cannot do Maths,
I've tried and tried and tried,
But every time I get the answer wrong,
It just keeps wounding my pride.

I have an ulcer on my lip,
That is keeping me from comfort eating,
So when a sum doesn't add up,
I can feel confusion fleeting.

You frown at me in bewilderment,
"But what on earth do you mean?"
"This is the most simple sum that I have ever seen!"
Alright! You ignorant *****! I don't understand Maths!

And am not going to put up with that patronizing sort of crap!

Waiting at the corner,
For you to notice me.
My hope hits the ground,
Like an Autumn leaf from a tree.

I check my watch and notice,
An hour has passed.
I guess that's all it takes,
To thoroughly smash my heart.

He danced like an idiot,
Just a clash of uncontrollable limbs,
And an array of contorting ****** expressions.

Why are you so angry?
I've never understood,
This heart of sweet intentions,
Left bruised and of no good.

The songs we sing do not please you,
Because you do not seem to care.
Everything is over-commercialized,
As you run a strained hand through your hair.

You told me you wanted to talk,
So I asked "what about?"
Then you avoided the question completely,
As if I'd began to shout.

I don't see the point in keeping secrets,
When it all is revealed in the end,
And is it worse for it to be revealed,
To your enemy or to your best friend?

You cannot oppress your feelings,
and that is perfectly fine,
So just let people know,
One person at a time.

A black book of feelings lies on my bedroom floor,
Beside an abandoned book of rambling,
That left my brain sore.

My foot is tapping to my heartbeat,
As my blood is pumped round and round.
While my ears explore the silence,
Of the things that can't be found.

A revolutionary thought appears,
To quickly disappear again,
So I curse my brain remembering that memory isn't my friend.

And my tongue stutters and trips over itself,
Making fools out of my teeth,
As I tell my friends they're materialistic,
For not realizing what's best lies underneath.

You're so cynical.
Not moved by those crocodile tears,
You frown and scoff dismissively,
As if you've not cried in years.

We stigmatized the nation,
Because you couldn't understand,
That sometimes people just want affection,
Need someone to hold their hand.

So you're drowning in the grave you dug,
As it fills with water and bile
Of those you thought to be smug,
Cutting them with words vile.

You didn't get the memo.
Not everyone is mean,
But of course you cannot hear that,
As you deafen us with your screams.

You said you were "Fine."
But I don't think you understand what "Fine" means.
It insinuates that you're ok,
Erasing the voices in your head that make your brain decay,
Causing a mass of anomalies to appear in front of you.

You told me you were "Fine."
But I've seen your wrists and I don't think they cut themselves.
It was all far too cliche for you to admit,
The fact that you need help.

'Cause I don't wan't to wake up without you,
Your bright smile makes my day,
And your soft words are of virtue,
That chase all the monsters away.

You cannot leave me now,
We're in too deep,
Both stuck in mud,
As the negatives devour our feet.

You can't stir your negative words into my tea like sugar,
'Cause the sugar will not taste sweet.
And the water you boil will be chalky
Leaving me with a bitter aftertaste.

Which means your opinion biscuits will be soggy,
Dropping off into the poison.

The poison you tell me is "Tea."

I've always found it ironic.

That as Humans,
We fight for peace.

It's 2:55 and my mind is screaming,
It's 2:56 and I should be dreaming,
It's 2:57 and I'm still awake,
It's 2:58 for goodness sake.

"How are you doing?"
He asked, plastic smile wide.
Playing with a bullet between his fingers,
Considering homicide.

A peace symbol on the wall behind him.
Hypercritical state of mind.
Tells me that he loves his family,
So it's confusing to find,
That he bombs others in another country.

Practicing homicide.

I'm slowly cascading down a spiraling staircase,
you can all hear my body hit step after step.

I think a few bones are broken,
but nevermind just carry on.

I finally reach the ground,
body ****** and bruised,
just like my heart was,
when you left me used.

You gave me a pocket watch,
I remember what you said.

"As time goes by I'll always love you, even when I'm dead."
I thought your words vague,
They didn't make much sense.

When you smiled you at me,
Your lips where chapped,
Like you used love in pretense.

It's the bizarre way you notice everything,
Like a spy you observe but you do not speak.
Someones insulted and someones complimented,
Still you do nothing except think.

It's the way you do not care for words,
Like too many are said in one day,
As if staying silent forever,
Will mute the hurtful things they say.

You hold your own reading your book,
Thinking you're rebellion is great,
And whilst you eat your lunch,
They knock your sandwich out your hands commenting about your weight.

But you just roll your eyes and carry on,
These idiots haven't got long left,
Within a year they'll be gone,
And then life will put them to the test.

She left without a word.
It was like loosing a limb,

Or she'd chucked me in the ocean,
Knowing I couldn't swim.

Today I found a Mouse,
Shocked on my lounge floor,
I don't remember inviting him in,
And if there's one there must be more!

I swear my cats give out free passes,
To all these little mice,
Or maybe they pay an entrance fee,
That's of an extortionate price.

But whatever their reason for being here,
I wish that they would leave,
Because I'm sure they'd be much happier,
Outside in the shade of the trees.

And if it's food that they're looking for,
I don't really eat much fruit,
Along with seeds, Grains, I can't grow plants,
So my house isn't that enticing to tell the truth.

However this little Mouse,
Sat on my lounge floor,
Only had half a tail,
And his foot looked rather sore.

So I picked him up gently,
And placed him outside,
In the gap between the grass and Wendy house,
A safe space where he could hide.

And now in the night,
He visits me for little chunks of cheese,
As I hear his dainty feet scatter,
Along the floor to return with the breeze,

We were supposed to fly together,
Soar through the sky against the wind.

Let the breeze lift you up,
Accept the weather conditions.

But you didn't like the fact it was snowing,
So you fell hurling downwards,
And cracked your head on the concrete.

I will forever mourn you,
You and your plastic heart.
The fake ways of saying "I love you too",
As you tick another name off your chart.

I will forever forgive you,
The way I cursed your name,
For you too have an open mind,
And a heart that beats the same.

I will forever forgive you,
Because a grudge is a bad idea,
And my Mother tends to exaggerate things,
So she's ingrained my mind with fear.

What I have learned from your leaving,
Is to never trust others,
No matter if they're your greatest friend,
Sisters or Brothers.

We're a selfish race of humans,
And you've just about proved my point,
Because a Devil tricked my Mother,
But her children's hearts she did anoint.

Tired eyes fight to stay open,
This bus is far too cold,
People shuffling with awkward words spoken,
Most of us are on our phones.

This bus driver is a grumpy *******,
So he's just about ruined my day,
I haven't even got to College yet,
And I want the world to go away.

This routine is comforting,
As I know where I need to be,
But that doesn't mean it's not boring,
Morning's are tedious to me.

The air is cold and biting,
And I've got holes in my gloves,
Same goes for my shoes,
As the rain cascades from above.

I'm all alone in this big empty house,
But no one seems to care.
I swear people are so selfish,
although I am too so I guess that's fair.

I've spent most of my time listening to music,
Mainly because I hate silence and my mind is screaming.
I swear my sister was supposed to come round today,
although that could have just been me dreaming.

I've drunk far too much coffee,
and am on a caffeine buzz,
so all the books I'm reading keep jumping out at me,
Reminding me I'm stupid and I'm in love.

I went out for the day to refresh my mind,
But I come home to white noise,
the radio playing obnoxiously loud,
Trying to fill an empty void.

I'd never want to live alone when I'm older,
I'd get far too depressed,
Because family have only been away for 2 days,
And I haven't got the effort in me to get dressed.

Listening to little lion man,
Half eaten bowl of Spaghetti to my right,
Half drunk mug of tea to my left.
I've waited five hours,
But you still haven't shown up.

You told me you'd be here at two,
But you forgot because you're scatterbrained.
I text you at four and asked if you were coming,
You said "yes", but I don't believe you.

Because I remember waiting up until two am,
But you never came home.
I'd get a brief text message that you're staying out,
Because you're always staying out.

I miss you, I always miss you.
I barely saw you for five years,
Then I got you for a few months,
But I took it for granted cause I'm a ******* idiot.

I miss you,
I've lost my appetite,
Just like you've lost interest.
But I still ******* miss you.

I mean there are times I wish I wasn't a woman.
Times I've hated my *****,
Wished I didn't have periods,
And got angry at my ******,
But most of the time I'm alright with it.

I still get angry at my ******* though.
If men can show them why can't I?
I mean, Adam and Eve didn't wear clothes,
But then they realised they were naked.

I get angry that I'm a woman,
Because Men get ***** too.
They have emotions and they can be the damsel in distress.

But overall I'm relatively happy.
Even though this generation is ironic,
And gives me a ******* headache.

It must be lonely.
I swear last time you moved,
You told me you were lonely then too.

No matter that you'd come home,
To snuggle in your bed with your love,
But that didn't matter,
It didn't help.

Because you were lonely.

We shared a room at the hotel,
And people heard us giggling,
Mainly because the walls were thin.

We were deliriously tired,
So everything was funny,
Like the way we both smiled,
Just before turning the lights off.

Only to turn them back on again,
Laughing along with insanity.

There are rumours circulating,
About you and I,
I'm not sure what they are,
But then I'm not one to pry.

According to common gossip,
We've done so many things,
Like snuck out at midnight,
And bought each other diamond rings.

I only know those two,
From my friends big mouths,
Who exclaim these stories in detail,
Like they're something to be proud about.

But rumours are never good things,
They only cause pain,
Because people's sharp tongues sting,
As we drive each other insane.

Pray for your enemies,
Hold their hands,
Because their reasons for hurting you,
May be hard to understand.

But acceptance and forgiveness,
Will light you up and make you whole,
As love is the only real power,
That can cleanse a human soul.

With every intake of smoke,
My lungs are turning black,
So there goes ten minutes of my life,
That i'll never get back.

And the alcohol your drinking,
Isn't giving you a buzz,
But you just want to stop thinking,
Because you can't be in love.

They're settled and they're happy,
Do not start a war!
You're ruining your own life,
Do not ruin any more!

These feelings are unrequited,
You know that far too well,
You're becoming so shortsighted,
Burning in your own hell.

And your beautiful lungs,
Are now diseased and broken,
So you crumble under their gaze,
As those soft words are spoken.

You knew you couldn't handle it,
So why did you start?
Because as soon as that cigarette touched your lips,
Your world fell apart.

I want to scream at you,
Really Really loud,
Because you tore my family apart,
Without making a sound.

You smiled so care free,
As you ****** someone elses wife,
And so to your neck,
I want to take a knife.

I am so angry,
My blood is boiled to the brim.
You've caused so much heartache,
From one single sin.

The hands that once caressed her skin,
Are now making bruises,
And you soon found out that different woman,
Have different uses.

I want to put a gun to your temple,
And tell you not to cry,
Because you turned my mother bitter,
As I watched my sister die.

So as you roll in your money,
Smiling in foreign places,
And you **** your ***** on balconies,
Because you can't remember our faces.

Know that we will never love you,
Because you were never here,
To hold us when we were born,
Or to keep us safe and near.

You have no say in how we were raised,
You're the reason we're wary of men,
Because you were never a father,
And you were never a friend.

"Your selfish heart can't have me!",
Because it's decaying and turning black,
And if you never loved me,
How do you expect me to love you back?

I told you you should leave her,
Because she always makes you cry,
But you constantly forgave her,
And I always asked you why?

When she abuses you mentally,
And acuses you of things,
That you'd never dare to do,
Because you're scared her slaps will sting.

I told you you should leave her,
Because she only causes you pain,
But yet you still waited an hour for her,
Soaking in the rain.

When she says you're being unfaithful,
But all you did was hug a friend,
As she glares at those who could save you,
From her bitter and tormented end.

I told you you should leave her,
Because I've seen your eyes glisten,
With the tears that she has caused,
Like she's on a ******* mission.

And the poison she has left,
Left inside your mind,
Have told you you are nothing,
That you're bitter and unkind.

I told you you should leave her,
Because she's breaking your heart,
And you're leaving a trail of pieces,
As you fall apart.

And I've put you back together,
So many ******* times,
When I asked if you were ok,
And you just smiled and said you were fine.

But you're never fine,
When you're within her grasp,
Because that evil witch,
Was hurting you from the start.