my throat is tight
and there are tears dripping
onto the cuts in my arms,
and this is not
how i pictured my twenties

Walls of bad luck obstructing progress.
An expanding gulf of hopelessness leads to an abyss of misfortune. Into a place from where there is no turning back, the soul dives.

You know those moments
When you realize
That you're not really appreciated,
Much less acknowledged?

Well, it's not the first time
That he's been unappreciative.
But I can't place my finger
On why this time it stung more.

I've had his birthday gift
Planned for months,
But his birthday
Is not for another month.

The only problem is
I have too many photos to burn,
Because I'm not sure
If we'll make it that far.

"I'm not his mom."
"I can't change him."
"So just leave him."
"But he broke last time."

So many questions,
Not enough answers.
So many doubts,
No one to reassure.

I feel sad,
I don't feel good.
Why is life so bad,
Didn't think it would,
Stab right into the heart,
But it is it's art.
I just wish,
My friends get all they need,
Wish, deserve and want,
And I'd want to watch them rant,
But not be silent like an ant.