i ask daily for prayers
and
recieve handfuls of thistles

3 am
As I take my final hit
The feeling of the high rushes through my body
My tiredness goes away and I'm nothing but energetic
I literally laugh at every single **** thing
I blurt out things I usually don't say out loud
There's this part of me that has been opened
For it was locked away all these years
This other side of me
Feels more free, calm, confident, euphoric, spontaneous
I cough for the burn it causes my throat
But this fire inside of me has reached my ribs and lungs
And I couldn't ask for a much better feeling to feel
I smile widely to the boy next to me
We're breathing the same air & I couldn't be more happier on who I am sharing this moment with
We locked eyes and I swear I saw the next 30 years of my life with him
He takes my hand and puts it on his chest, I feel his heart beat and in that moment I heard every love song ever made in the world
And he takes me high just like moon up above
Then he whispers the words "I love you"
For a slight moment time stopped and it was just me and him floating up the clouds above
And every molecule in my body froze as our lips touched
In that moment I knew reality was so much better than my dreams