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 Oct 2015 Jake
fdg
side by side
 Oct 2015 Jake
fdg
in a weird spot today
2am staring at walls
shaky fingers
and since every poem turns into a love poem,
i want you to want to impress me still
i want to rest my hand on your cheek and close my eyes and be in my most comfortable place
 Oct 2015 Jake
penn
Defeated
 Oct 2015 Jake
penn
Some days I'm emotionally unstable
Occassionally putting my problems on the table
Needing a friend to see how I'm treated
In my lonesomeness and depression I feel so defeated
Once having brilliant brown eyes
Now turning red as they dry
Risking my own feelings to the dangers
A pain filled and broken heart is no stranger
In my silence I will cry
Never wanting to hurt you or say goodbye...
 Oct 2015 Jake
penn
Little lady, little bird
with your broken wings
I don't know what you heard
But I can hear you sing
And if you listen to my words
Maybe it won't sting

Locked up in a cage
Safe from the weather
Tiny little rage
With your tiny little feather
The world's your stage
Can we perform together?

Stop looking around
You won't find the key
The chains are bound
I'm not letting you free
With thorns you're crowned

Won't you stay with me?
 Oct 2015 Jake
penn
●○●
 Oct 2015 Jake
penn
I am an ironic paradox of dichotomy.
I am who I am and who I am not, simultaneously.
I am a devil with a halo,
A wolf in a sheep's cloak,
crocodile shedding tears.

I am the monster you all think I am
Do not cross my path,
I am warning you.
I can destroy you,
shatter you to pieces,
break every inch of you,
and annihilate you.

But despite all these,
I know  love,
And I deserve to be loved.
I need someone to accept me as I am,
disregarding all my flaws
and imperfections.
 Oct 2015 Jake
penn
The Lover
 Oct 2015 Jake
penn
Tell me how to keep you
Here by my side
Tell me what I have to do
To never say goodbye

So stay with me
I'll hold you tight
I'll tangle my arms
For you in the night

Because if you stay,
I'll love you so
Even through the rain
And through the snow.

So stay because I love you,
Stay because I care,
You're everything to me,
And this I forever swear.
 Oct 2015 Jake
penn
 Oct 2015 Jake
penn
I want to colour the skies and drown in the blue
I want to write poetry and read it for you
I want my hairs to fall on your face as we lie down smoking the last cigarette, laughing at our silly stories,
The old staircase at my home leading to the terrace,
I want to keep small pots which bloom jasmines in the hot summer nights.
The small diary which I hide in my drawer.
I want someone to read it one day.
I want you to know me..
Like no one has know ever.

I laugh like a lunatic, and cry like one too..
I wish to paint myself with colours unknown and become an art myself because people like me should come with a caution..
As I am the untamed storm and I would destroy you in the most beautiful  way possible..
 Oct 2015 Jake
Sia Jane
Winter Air
 Oct 2015 Jake
Sia Jane
(1)

I'm disturbed and yet deeply
comforted by my disturbed nature
I'm comforted because my darkness
envelops me-
it may be cold to the touch
rigid and upright
not soft and loving
but it's loyal
it never leaves.

Today, I'm driving
window down to help me breathe
I capture cold air in my wind pipe
I smell November winter air
smoke from chimneys rising-
when I breathe out I'm smoking too
warm air penetrating cold air
I smell November winter air
we're still in October
it's too early for these memories
I'm unprepared- it's too early.

Sat next to me she appears-
a paler, younger, thinner self
a self I'm sure has passed on
to another life
if it haunted me we'd call her a ghost
but she comforts me
shall we call her an imaginary friend?

"You look terrible!" I state wilfully.

(2)

She's dressed in a thousand layers
"You still feel the cold, eh!" I say
She winks, staying aloof
from any possible conversation
I take a tone of similar indifference.

There she is barely visible
so unafraid of death
arms striped with incisions
a razor blade left behind
hip bones, collar bones, chest bones
she's nothing more
than a white sheath coat
pulled over the skeleton of
a human body
skin screaming for nourishment
to show any signs of life.

If I asked to feel her pulse
there'd be nothing there
no beat
no rhythm
"Maybe it's why the fear of death
has left me!" she commands
"Because in your muffled confusion
your muscles wasting
including your brain-
you mistake yourself for dead." I retort
"You're 21 for Christ's Sake!"

(3)

Distracted by a red traffic light
I turn away-
when I look back, she's gone.

So here I am
talking to myself
the ghost of Christmas past
disappears as soon as my back
is turned.

When I'm alone
the silence
is always louder
than any noise I ever hear-
the silence attracts her back
I reach out to her
trace her face with my finger tips
I whisper: "God Bless,"
knowing some memories are meant
to be laid
to rest.


© Sia Jane


Read on SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/sia-jane-words/winter-air
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