Fear consumes,
but mind alludes
To you -- statuesque repose,
my heart swells in happiness.

What constitutes as fear?
An unpleasant feeling.
Our body tells us to react:

Chest tightens in expectation,
resist the urge to jump out of my skin.
Not wanting to resist the urge to jump onto yours...
be close to you in your warmth,
the sweet serenading cadences of your voice,
tracing, outlining, making me vocalize,
like a full harmonizing choir.



You are worthy, so worth it.
Unconventional, not intentional...
finding you, compassionate soul.
You make me brave, undismayed --
swayed by your gentle tenderness.

Fear consumes,
but what is fear when your mere presence brings me peace.
Chest loosens in tranquility, our heartbeats synchronized.
Once wary, now calm.

Fear is flat,
you taught me that.
An unobserved, irrational self-created entity.

Fervently fearless with you.

My mind: inundated,
infiltrated with booming thoughts and desires.
Multiplying in one huge devastating explosion.

One after another.
Feeling your desire from a higher
energy that is pulsating through my veins,
making its way into my very being.

I crave you intensely,
immensely, mind numbingly so.
But the weeds begin to sprout,
My garden of anxiety and doubt.

I know you have your own garden to tend.

I can feel you too,
Inside of me, my mind that is.
Eyeing your beautiful,
arbitrary haphazard thoughts.
Stream of consciousness.

Connecting the dots
to tell the conclusion, there's been no
Illusion. Of my mind. Only assumption.

Not to have any confusion,
with how I feel for you
and what I think about.

Now back to assumption.
It's an evil thing.

Have the gumption
To do something about it.

All thoughts were not made equal.

Placing the bandaid
on top of the next.
Placating my irrational thoughts,
but all so fleeting.

I'm happy. Then...
the wounds peak through,
I know these outside influences
whether drugs or relationships won't hold up
in the ultimate goal -
the real happiness quantifier.

That happiness
Beautiful soulful careless laughter
Give me that happiness.
Sing and dance,
but not at the expense of my lungs and kidneys.

Talk about something you know
For you.
Intrinsically fascinating,
Not fabricating lies based on ideas
for Others to like you.

Stop pleasing others for their expense.
Please yourself through ridding
Yourself of dense
Self pitying thoughts and
Push-over tendencies
Rejection fearing
and Stop baring these heavy suicidal thoughts.

Learn
To appreciate your worth,
You have a gift of
Kindness, intelligence, mindfulness.
I love myself
Or at least I'm learning to
and the healthy way.
By myself.
And I won't ask your opinion, is that okay?
Yeah I'm still learning.

She sat on the carpet with a bowl of Lucky Charms
on her lap watching ******-Doo when she
swiveled and asked, “Why do I have
a cleft palate?” Before I could
respond she sang,  “Frosted
Lucky Charms, They’re
Magically Delicious,”
and flipped

to the Flintstones.

"From Voice Of A ******* Dog"

You watch at a distance from the safety
of  your green and  white lawn chair
as I lick  my *******. You probably
do not think I know my colors;
an incorrect assumption.

Green is for the Irish, communists
prefer red,  blue is the sky on good
days  and you are, as most
men, yellow. I am not on
that spectrum.

As a boy growing up in rural Iowa
I thought love was curve of neck,
tone of voice, hang of breast,
thick of hair, length of step,
temperature of hand, hue
of skin, size of soul;
I still think so.

Why do they die?
The healthy ones against
wind rain, snow and disease.
It died. Fell over with a groan.
It was just a red oak; I loved it.

I will bake you a raspberry creme cannoli
if you bite my earlobes nimbly;
I dream your skin tastes of
lemon.