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Autumn Nov 2017
my preconceived notions are dismantled
and i am told i am nothing
i know the refection
i understand
i am found
i was not lost i do not need this search
i was prepared
i was well equipped for my future with
an arsenal of knowledge and
social skills
but

i was not prepared
to go from
social butterfly
embracing her shielding cloak
to a
skeleton
drowning in
solitude
and open air
...
i was not prepared
for infinite opportunity of friendship
and yet
not a single
one has been found
...
Autumn Sep 2017
The never ending dull roar of an itch on my head
My skin everywhere is in an uproar of silence
The nails scrape the skin away
I wish I could scrape my face away
The nails are not clean and perfect
Bite bite bite
I bite away at them
The whispers are increasing and screams never seem to be able to decipher what the whispers are saying
Block block block
I block it all away
My agenda turns into a wall and nails and barbed wire
My smile turns into an AK 47
Sleep I never seem to have enough of
Moment and moment again I remember
Weep and sorrow and anger and pitiful rage
I am
Tick tick tick is tocking my brain out of the clockwork
i wish I could stay with the time zone
The reflection is an immersion of searing boiling oil bubbling up
Blink
I'm back to flash card one
Blink
My exam is tomorrow
Blink
Blink
Blink
Blink
Blink
Blink
I am gone
And my exam is still tomorrow
Blink
  Sep 2017 Autumn
Crestfall
You're too emotional.
I'm emotionless.
Together, we're human.
© Crestfall
© I Barker
For the Catan to my Miran.
Autumn Sep 2017
They run.
They scream.
They beg for help.
Their homes are burned.
The women are *****.
The children are tortured.
Everyone is killed.
A savior amidst the government and yet her lips sit on top of each other, only opening to condemn the persecuted Rohingya...
A Nobel Peace Prize winner revealing herself as an assailant of ethics.
The Rohingya.
The humans denied aid by almost every brother and sister,
THOUSANDS of men, women, children,
are drowning, burning, pleaing for mercy,
as you sit in your comfy chair and read this poem,
as i sit in this bed writing this poem.
The Rohingya are looking into the eyes of a Buddhist state;
looking down the barrel of a gun pointed at them from infancy.
An entire culture dedicated to dehumanizing humans...
An entire coalition of states conforming to locking the Rohingya out...
A state committing textbook genocide.
A world subduing to textbook ignorance.
And the Rohingya fighting for the right to live
For the right to be
Human
The Rohingya must not flee, nor fear persecution, for We shall stand by the Rohingya!
i never write about anything other then feelings basically so i know this is rough but its important
Autumn Aug 2017
the cozy nest i live upon is only a nest and only cozy with you in it
the serenity i feel is never a full cup of tea without you by my side
my hand is never quite okay without you in it
and my kitty is never quite satisfied without your tongue teasing it
my desire to achieve is not smothered by an essence of yours but only fueled even more
a beautiful morning is never quite as beautiful without your eyes looking too
not many things inflame my rage as much as the thought of you with another
and not to many things sooth my inner being the same way your look and touch does
and there is no other heart i would like mine sewn to forever and a decade than yours my love
xoxo
to my allan xoxo
Autumn Aug 2017
whispering in the wind is the voice of I love you
and howling back are the memories of love long forgotten

screeching in the night the demons light up the quite the sight
singing a perfect melody my soul has finally found a remedy

laughter in time with the beat
shivers down my spine
a twirl and drop
and a decade later
the years have flown by
sitting here
i hear
they say and they scream
they live and i watch


the slow decay of a living particle through the cosmos slowly
and yet delicately
melting away
Autumn Aug 2017
i haven't visited this blank screen in quite a while
i would like to travel through the spaces between my words and letters and phrases and meanings
i would like to dream through the endless possibilities of creativity
i would like to succeed
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