Straws.

I feel like the phrase the straw that broke the camels back
Every straw crushes me, I need some slack
except my back was broken long ago.
and yet my ‘friends’ keep unloading their straw ammo.

The straws push all positive thoughts out of me
I tell them to stop, but they won’t so where can I flee?
what can I do?
who knew life could be affected by so few

I want it to end yet fear pain
I feel like its making me go insane
I don’t want to be able to think,
I most certainly feel on the brink.

Who can I reach out to without feeling shame,
They already hurt me with that nickname
I know everyone will judge me
I wish I were normal, what a life that would be.

Month by month it gets more unbearable,
and if I got out am I even repairable?
the straws are apart of me now,
I don’t see my life getting much better somehow.

All I want is to block it out
but it bottles up inside me I try not to shout.
Surely nothing can get better than this,
ceasing to exist may finally provide me will bliss.


But in the end, here I am, at the end of my straw
I do not wish to take any more.