it serves me right for Trying to be Happy
you have Feelings for someone and you Think they have some for You too it Feels great
with a Few Words your Heart Drops and you have that Pain in your chest
It Hurts the Most when you have Feelings and then its Shut Down.
the Higher i am, the Faster you Fall.

I was told that if you're crying after something bad happened that you cared and you had so much emotion in it. Then I'm guessing that is the same thing to do when you loved someone. cause even after all this time I'm still crying.

11/7/19
I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of not having anyone to talk to. I’m miserable, all I can think about is being with someone, but the problem is that no one wants to be with me. I don’t know what I must do to change that, and I hate it. I’m lonely. I feel alone all the time. Even when I’m with the few friends I have I still feel like there’s something missing… but I don’t know what.

I’m so happy I left. So I don’t have to deal with anyone from where I came that don’t like me or that I don’t like them. So I don’t have to deal with my past and what ******* lies that you came up with. Its twisted ya know. And you **** well know you lied. You’re not the only one who is scared. You have no right to be scared. Because of the lies you started. I’m living in fear every **** day. Every single ******* time I think about you or home, I have what feels like a small anxiety attack or panic attack. But because of you. My life is going on better direction then you are and a lot of other people. If I’m being honest, all I have to say is *******, and **** PA.

I don’t know why but I just feel like I’m constantly in this ongoing loop. A train that Is going around and around on this track. It won’t let me off. I would just jump, but I’m scared that it’s going to hurt. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know how I got on the train in the first place. I see people walk in an out, on and off with ease. If they can, why can’t I?

I was generally really happy.
And when it ended,
the happiness just
Left.
Vanished ,
Ripped out,
Taken,
Gone.
Se La Vie.