and he wonders when this dream will end. he wonders if it's actually a dream, or just a particularly persistent fragment of a memory. "all is made to thrill," he thinks, "smiles are fleeting and beauty is still." and still, even if it'd all been done before, who wouldn't give their whole life to do it all again?
but he knows there's no time. the summer is already up and running and we're so tired and they're all so disappointed. people make promises that break all the time. although there's an assurance in assuming, at times he missed the simple comforts of being sad.

and you walk around with a soul in your pocket all the while. the whispers breathe like smoke. we're all so many lonely suicides. some nights the radio is always on but still we hear the wolves, pacing just outside the door. as she held your hand, you leaned in close. he'd burn in a town without fire, she said. mark her words. i've been wandering towards salvation ever since.

talked of dropping him at the hospital
but we settled on the park
we got him in the car and
we waited til it got dark

we found an empty spot
and we laid him on the bench
we wondered about the difference
between enemies and friends

one last look goodbye
then we slid into the night
and god bless whoever found him
since then, none of us have felt right

we saved the mourning for the morning
at the funeral we acted surprised
but i couldn't shake the feeling
of his stapled and judgemental eyes.

I'm not enlightened, or righteous. Nothing I love is original. I'm a cynic, a bore, a parasite. A festering wound that should have long scabbed over by now. I'm only happy when I'm miserable.  And yes, it's easy to draw them in, and even to hold them for a while. But, eventually, it sets in. So, give me a chance. and I can make you happy, too.

the tear has turned to torn
meant for fields of hearts broken
an eternity for those imperfect
inherently known but never spoken

a decree of modesty
it's said they fought til the last man
but who then told the story
of those who question, but never understand

surrounded by slumbers
a condition constantly denied
a lifetime sickened by grief
lord, believe that i've tried

start writing down all your thoughts about the future, instead of always focusing on the past. forget all those stories that they used to tell you. quit following all those loose ends. remember that, sometimes, the wrong places still hold the right things. reach out. look for something more. greet yourself with the smile you only share with strangers. immerse yourself in all the chances you're too afraid to take. stop pulling from others, and start pulling from yourself. i know the strength is real, because i've seen it. it's in you.

please, take me down to the river
hold me down in the muddy water
and bury me in it.
let the tide take my body
to rest on a distant shore.
you have to throw me away.
it's the only way.
i'll do it again and again and again
don't ever let me do it again.
you have a husband and a child on the way
i know your secret.
things will never be the same
and you thank god every day.

haunted by the echoes
but the flood will bring relief
scaled a tree under the moon
to pluck the purest leaf
you spoke of was and when
enamored by the rapture
curses dripped through swollen lips
indebted to the fracture
a roar rose from the line
a thousand pairs of eyes
denied the gifts of failure
a wind, or seraphs cry
sacrifice to heaven
this present born of love
begging for the rain
persecution of the blood

a woman grieves for what she's lost to this world.
said she's been having trouble sleeping, but he knows she's been sleeping fine.
old habits or wishful thinking?
maybe it's a sign, this song.
a hopeful sonnet despite the rain.
against a storm of thunder and of pain.
said she'd prayed for peace, but he knew she'd prayed for plagues.
and he can only imagine.

When it comes to immigration, everyone’s so focused on the crisis in the Middle East that they forget about the true threat, our sister to the North and The Great Canadian Exodus. That’s right, I’m talking about the Geese. They come over the border, whenever they feel like it; we don’t even know who they are. They’re rapists and murderers and some, I imagine, are good birds. But we don’t know who they are. What we do know is they ****, a lot, in public, everywhere. So much. So so much. They insist on holding up traffic, needlessly, whenever and wherever they like it. I’ve seen one these things, and I’m not kidding you folks, run a grown man down. This hard-working, patriotic American (who I’m sure bled red, white and blue), was beaten and berated by something that isn’t even supposed to be here in the first place. It was horrible, absolutely horrible. And the worst part is, it could have been avoided. That’s why I’m calling for a ban, on all regional immigration and migratory practices, for the foreseeable future. We need to get a grip on this. We need to get ourselves back on track. We need to, simply put, Make America(n Lawns) Great again. Thank you, everybody. Thanks for coming out. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, goodnight!

http://imgur.com/hFb4bBN

You had started to really try
but I remember being done.
we were so touch and go
so volatile.
It’s not about the last time I saw you.
not about those years we never talked.
I still don’t know why I picked up
but you told me a time
a place
and it was enough
As you came through the room
the breath became collective
hanging like an icicle about to thaw and fall
I hoped you didn’t notice the shaking of my frame when we embraced. (To stand so tall, when in fact in ruins. Oh it was so like you.)
On my second drink, I asked if you were happy
If you could finally sleep the whole night through
If you ever thought of what could’ve become of me and you
the next morning I stood at the door
my hand resting on the **** that you’d just touched
I knew I would see you again
whether that be today
tomorrow
three years from now
and that's enough.

They drove out one night, on a whim. It was a sprawling thing; a shrine guarded by foreign collection, reconfigured and asleep on their feet. They crept through the open doors, tiny frogs and spiders and lizards littering every inch. A droning permeates from somewhere deep within. A discarded book upon the floor, not but records of sacrifice and lies to the dead. Suddenly, a spark. An inescapable glow, this mess of fire, growing brighter all the while. Now the tools, the taste, the tenor. A man gives what he can. The offering will take, or it won't. And you, with all those sticky fingers! They steal away again, homeward bound; the faintest remnants of that glorious spark dancing in their downcast eyes. It will take, or it won't. Everything is static, nothing stays the same. They know that nothing lasts forever.

you prayed for a savior
so i put these holes
in my hands
it's all for you
and i can't stop shaking
if you don't stop shaking

do not ever worry
they are all a liar
perched high on the rooftop
preaching to the choir
hope is a waking dream
and i'm to terrified to sleep
with the machines beneath the sidewalk whispering
my heart will keep beating
as long as you keep on listening
dear lord, please spare her
send the bullet
send the plague
send the flood of every ocean
i'm sick of these broken mirrors
and ****** noses
i'd have to die to forget you

you got a lot of followers
but not that many friends
does it keep you warm and night?
will you feel safe upon the end?
you talk of starting over
yeah, you want to burn it down
the seeds will never be clean
after they've been buried in the ground
you remember things
you knew were never true
yeah, you boast of things
you know you'd never do
like a lighter without a flame
it will be never be the same
when they've all been beaten back
then who will you blame?
yeah, you pass the hat
and you collect their change
while you speak of your crusade
not knowing that
the end will come
from the rust upon the blade

any chance we could stay dark?
blowing blunts late night in the park
you can take the high road
leave more room for me on the low
and although i will always love you
these questions only god can know

i'll always be there for you
but some mountains just
aren't meant to move



i remember the shape of your dress
that smell of the shampoo you used to use
i can't remember the color of your eyes
i really can't remember much more about you.

i've never been good with death
i'm terrified by the thought
of eternal rest
i bring no words of comfort
no distraction from the grief
i stand there like a statue
offering no hope or relief
i see it as a ritual
in my eyes it seems wrong
i know it's what you do
but i can't make myself play along
eventually, the right words
come running through my head
but it doesn't matter now
because you're already dead.

standing on the edge
and
i'm reaching out
you actively ignore
all of the effort i put forth
instead you focus on the sky
pray that you could fly
take that solitary step
forget all that you have left
behind
but i tried
i tried

and all those ******* phrases
about the glory and amazement
a burdenless existence
and somehow we're the victims

i ran to the edge and
i reached for you
you never looked back
i didn't expect you to
i watched as you sank
like a stone on the sea

(i'll never understand
what it meant for you)

Sometimes I look at people
as something disposable.
It's never how they said it'd be.
Nothing ever is.
I have my moments
but I know I'm
just a big coward.
Everyone has their moments
but we all know we're
all just a bunch of cowards.
Selfish.
Grandiose.
Narcissistic.
Afraid.
All this freedom is dangerous.
Left free and we're
reconsidering
analyzing
questioning.
If there was a better way to go
we'd have found it by now.
Come close, I have something to tell you.
I'd give up everything I've got
for just a little peace of mind.

you look so lonely
in those photos with your friends
how can anybody know you if
the means never justify the end
no, no one can stop you
while you're blowing up those lines
if you don't care to take
the ****** nose as a sign
you want to stay home from school
and lose yourself, playing in the snow
only it's not as great as you imagine
we've lost you long ago
and we'd do anything to have you back
what you have more than makes up for what you lack
not a wolf, but a shadow

staying silent while the mind goes violent
i'm older now and i won't spare the rod
you ******* animals!
drown in the river shed
it was always your favorite color anyways
pages yellow
ink fades
notes disintegrate
this is forever
even if you fail to remember

You chose the plague
at the expense of the holy child.
Baby, you know I'd never hurt you
but you're only pretty when you're crying.
I'm alone at least 6 nights a week.
Don't deny it.
Don't you dare try to lie to me.
This is passion in the form of red-handed denial.
Play the piano like a disease and
tell me exactly what the distance means to me.
Altar. Sacrifice. Martyr.
Time. Energy. Life.
Every person makes their choices.
You chose the plague
at the expense of the holy child.

its not perfect
but it dulls the pain
for a little while, anyways
she heard it was a fad
a phase
a bump in the road
time heals all wounds
remember?
these are some sick sad little rituals
she knew that things may change
but time would never take this pain away

i'd question all i know
i'd drown all my beliefs
i'd turn their shrines to ash
all you have to do is ask
i'd cut off my hair
i'd burn out both my eyes
i'd pull out all my teeth
if you said it'd bring you some relief
well i'd burn alive
to keep you warm
you stay sheltered
it's only the eye of the storm
i thought the worst was over
i'd begun to bet on closure
that night you woke up
wide-eyed and hopefully wild
wide-eyed and hopelessly wild
said you'd heard a babies scream
she'd died two months ago
living nightmares, waking dreams
i know there's nothing i can do
to save your soul
so i'll just stay here with you
until you're well, or we're old.

Some don’t recognize the difference between distance and meaning.
Some don’t appreciate the empty spaces the words are leaving.
Some mistake a lack of knowledge for a lack of worth.
Some diamonds are discarded.
Some pieces of **** are painted gold.
Some lion learn to love the lamb,
Some lamb the lion.
Some thoughts come at night because they’re too afraid to face the light.
Some stand so tall in ruin.
Some things you feel are real.
Some were never really there.
Some need but a minute, so take it; you’re worth it.

to go where angels fear to tread
glance down, my hands are covered in red
i must learn to control these feelings
before they destroy me.
(gargled six days with gasoline, and i still can taste the blood)

Some wonder, ‘what’s the point of living if we’re all just born to die?’ Sure, some ships are made to wreck, but you don’t have to drown with the rest of them! Sing not for the final outcome, sing a song of how they tried! When they’re overtaken by words bent on breaking, when they cry ‘monotonous, but not this!’, wipe the sweat from their brow, take the load from their shoulder, and offer a steady hand. Not because they deserve it, but because you can! Let yourself be the water that extinguishes the flames, the finger in the dam, the ray of sunshine that banishes those dark clouds that follow overhead! Be the reason they choose peace over annihilation! Smile, for the world is a dark enough place already; we need all the beauty we can get. (Help like you’re the only one who can.)

this conversation is one-sided
but that's not my choice
i'd trade ever inch of your silence
to hear the sound of your voice
you're a shrine without a saint
and i'd burn all of my beliefs
if it would have killed the cancer
that made you have to leave
i'm sorry all i said was
"please, don't leave"
i know it's not your fault
that's just how much you meant to me
so now i live without your guidance
i stumble in the dark
your body might've left
but your soul has left a mark
that i'll carry in me forever
until we meet again
that day can't come soon enough
you are my one, my only, my best friend.

See the signs. Don’t look away, don’t get used to them. Remove them yourself. Be free. Show others how it can be done. Stand out (I mean, someone has to). Yes, it’s easier to follow along. Yes, it feels weird to do something strange, something different. But it’s okay to feel uncertain, uneasy, and unusual. You know what’s right, so set an example. Break the spell. Others will follow.

if the gods wished to punish us
they just need to answer our prayers
it's exactly what we deserve
for leaving faith up in the air
it's a hopeless benediction
a song for the lonesome to sing
a wish for wings that work
and the flood they promised to bring
those without the music
thought the rest of us insane
as they raise our mouths on high
they drown to spite the rain
they beat us with the book
that tells them they should love
while they canonize the snake
they crucify the dove

you knew you'd burn all of your beliefs
if it made them not want to leave
you don't know how it came to be this way
and you don't know how to say
that you're just living in the moment
trying to keep warm
washed out but not clean
seeking shelter from the storm
you can still hear them say
Oh, you're alright, you're okay
We're proud of you anyways
it's hard to build a future
when you're still buried in the past
less about the answers
more about the questions asked
talk of moving forward
never mentioning what you leave behind
something you haven't yet noticed missing
something you'll never find
and the mountains that you carry
you were only supposed to climb
what hurt them the most
was hearing you explain
why you shouldn't have been hurt
by what was causing you so much pain
memories of inspiration not yet found
seeds blamed for being planted in the ground

when you called to cancel
i was already in the parking lot
still i stayed around
drinking for whatever, i forgot
someone shouts "last call!"
so here's to the end of days
all the maybe memories
and the things we never got to say
the problem with attention
is that no one ever gets enough
until a "best night ever"
ends with fists and handcuffs
there's no such thing
as an ordinary life
but i wanted to die on my feet
i wanted this to be a legendary night