To all who have loved:

kinaya ko namang wala ka.

I could see your tears again
With those I couldn't comprehend
I have you as my friend
With heart I could for you just lend

Forehead on arm crouching
I asked and knew you were lying
We walked the hallway marching
Why are those people watching?
To whom were they prying?

One day I met a freedom wall
With my height just as tall
I wrote and see something that made me fall
With that I could clearly recall
Why you were dumbfounded as we walked through the hall

I don't know how much I feel
But if anger could ****
I'll make sure they'll be ill
And make them worse for what you feel

Pero hindi, hindi 'iyan ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw ko na. Ayaw ko na kase...

Gusto kong maging kaibigan ka pa
Ayaw kong dumaan lang sa buhay mo
At maging yugto nito
Hindi ko gustong maging tayo

Sana lang maging magkaibigan lang tayo
Yung matagal at walang hiwalayan
Ayaw kong mahulog sa'yo
Gusto ko lang parating nasa tabi mo

Ayaw kong mahulog sa'yo
Kasi ayaw kong maghanap pa uli ng tulad mo
Ayaw kong magsimula uli sa iba
Pero hinahanap ko sakanya ay ikaw parin pala

Ayaw kong mahulog sa isang kaibigan
Dahil lahat sila, wala nang kabigan
Wala nang balikan
Kaya ayaw ko

Gusto kong magkasama lang tayo
Walang kuryente, walang kabog ng dibdib
Hindi slow motion o fortune teller
Gusto ko magkasama lang tayo

Walang tayo pero may pagmamahal
Bilang kaibigan, parang magkapatid lang
Walang mas malalim pa
Walang lalalim pa
Kasi kapag gano'n, ayaw ko na

Iiwan na kita.
Ayaw ko na.

It was a huge closet
Fancy clothes
Ballgowns and heels
Dresses and flats

Ornamented with flowery designs
With thin fine lines
Diamonds and gems and pearls
Matches the girl with curls

A pair of blue jeans
Denim jacket
Converse and white shirt
Hidden inside the huge closet

Black unsophisticated clothes
Beanies, caps and shades
Coats and ties and bows
She cannot wear on times she want

This is for she: pink ladylike
For him is blue and manly
Straight long hair
Or a fine undercut

You cannot lover you don't
You cannot love him, he won't
If this is so wrong
Why can't this stop all along?

If you watch ****, you sweat
You hide what is wrong
But when did love become unacceptable?
When the standards are so strong
That loving someone
Is now just a set of rules

It's funny how we can call this world a home
When only the chosen one inside the closet
Who can endure much
Can easily blend in

And the homeless out
Freezes with cold stares and shrugs
Disgust and homophobic thoughts
Unless we give them a chance

No, this is all wrong
How could we tolerate someone who ran away from home?
But how can you call them runaways
When from the start
The truth is naked

That in this place
For them there is no space

It is a huge closet
Where you're safe inside
Where you have clothes you SHOULD wear
Remember you are a her
But why the heck is your heart also for her?

i've read the first prose i've written for you months ago while listening to midnight sky inside the class.
it feels like we were alone with art, literature, music, sadness and fear.

fear that you might be farther away soon.
more distant than where you were today.
and though i wanted to hold you, i may not be able to do so.
you were the only right among the fifty question exam, the sole answer.

i know you, like my favorite place, your scent will always be my most familiar one, and your hand would always be my honor to hold.
tu me manques.
you are missing from me.

Pag-aari mo
'Yan ang sabi mo
Ngunit nanalo ako

Writers are evil, I told myself
They have their hearts broken
Million pieces like the stars
And portray life as universe

They hide themselves behind those pens
And begin to tell the greatest story ever told
They put cream and honey to their tales
To sweeten our journey or feel bad about ourselves

They bleed to death
And use past lovers as an ink
Merely thinking of how to easily get over
They fear being alone and hopeless

But then I met someone
And this is the irony of my story
I've seen someone's soul
I've felt someone's agony

Someone who cries
Is hurt
Broken
Who loves to write

It's funny how those smiles
Hide a deep secret no one knows
Neither you
I was captivated, 'twas a trap

Signorina, no, o! mia ragazza,

You know what I realized after You?
I realized that writers are no evil
They were not at all
They are scarred, broken, and lost individuals
They need attention
But they have no physical voice to shout
They have strenght to move their hand
So they wouldn't have to hurt anyone
But with their words.

Writers are no evil
They are silent rebels
People who share
Selfless enough not to pour their wrath in a verbal way
That would soon go away

They are cunning individuals
Wise enough to know
You may hurt them once or multiple times
But brace yourself and understand
That letters and art are forever
And with that, with the generations to come
You'll be forever hated

Naneun, Yeon Feisu Imnida
Reared from a turkish tribe
Faced the border's Yuan army

The commander who had the Silk Road
Daughter of General Batolu
A warrior, who had lost her mind

The warzone was full of blood and loss
The battlefield was full of corpse
Their bodies crying for the agony to end

You, a deposed Goryo monarch
Spared my life from hellfire
Left to breathe in shame and sorrow

Left with no chance to live
With dignity and honor
I became your lifeless subject

I picked up the sword
Buried the last ounce of hope
For my tribe, my home
Whom you conquered

A hunt for Gumihos and Tigers
You threw yourself as prey
To save the chased nine-tailed fox

The emperor's most favored consort
You dare stare at your possible death
And took the blade for her sake

While I took the poison arrow
You dared show me your weakness
I dared mend your wounded chest

I tried to unlove you
So I could protect you,
For I'll never have your heart

There will always be two martyrs:
The oppressed and the oppresor
The protected and the protector

I wish I could rest from the battle
I fought alone
And find my own path

I had to leave  
For my life is of my tribe
I left, having the concern in your eyes