I hope one day you’re able to see how I feel everyday, I am alone walking down this dark path. My hearts made of glass and it’s shattering, I waited for the day you were ready to fix the connection we never had. I feel like I’m at the bottom of hell I cry everyday in my room wishing you never picked up those pill bottles but you did mom, I prayed every night to have the old you back but now I can’t even look at your pictures without getting angry. When I used to look you in the eyes you always had a blank stare and that’s when I knew you lost yourself, I know the drugs held you captive. Drugs took you from all of us and we needed you, you gave up everything you ever had for those pill bottles how could you momma? At night I think about everything you’re missing in my life, I need you for all of this but you’re gone forever. I lost nana and that lady meant everything to me, she’s also missing out on my life. I feel angry everyday I think of how I could have saved you but the one day I didn’t wake up is the day you died, I feel broken from all the way down from the bottom of my heart I always cry out to you, you won’t be coming back. I want all of this to end but the voices in my head tell me I am going to end up dead, save me before I fall. I love you to pieces I know I must let the anger out I wish I didn’t feel this way, I miss you until we see each other soon.❤️
-Love Amya-

Emotions do you feel them?
I was so numb and broken
Do you know what that’s like?
I have nothing left inside
With my eyes closed, my hearts turning cold
I was in a hollow shell looking for hope
But this world doesn’t offer much.

I wish I could wake up and see you standing in front of me.
I wish this nightmare could all be over.
I remember when I was small you would hold my hand, as I grew older you became my best friend.
I have 14 years of memories with you that I will treasure and keep in my heart.
We shared a bond that nothing could ever break.
My heart aches so much with you not being here, oh how I would love to hug you one last time.
Where there was once happiness, is now sadness.
Oh, how much I would love to hear your voice or even just see you smile one last time.
Until the day I see you again,
I will look up at the stars and search till I find you.
Love,
Amya

You don’t understand
I never expected you too
I explain,but I can’t get through to you
Depression is walking in
You look at me and say I’m fine
I never felt so disappointed in you
So I sit in my room
My mind locked my emotions in a cell
While you still believe I’m okay
But I never was okay
Deep down I hope you see
That I don’t want to live this life
You tell me it’s just a phase
But is it really?

This day foward and forever more
I will mount this mask
That will be my lore
No more reaching out when i am weak
When you look for answers
When you say your prayers
All you will see is the mask,no more pain