You'll never notice it
Until it's gone with the wind
You'll never need it
Until the ocean carries it away
You'll never want it
Until everything's blur
And you can no longer see it

Until it's too late

'Cause even the most gorgeous flowers,
Wither
Even your favorite scents
Gradually fade away
Neither a potion nor spell
Can make them stay
And you wont even be aware of it
Until you realize
There's nothing around you
Left to stay

It's my word against his
And I have nothing but the way he made me feel
The sleepless nights, anxiety attacks and skin dried out from the wetness of my tears
Is hardly evidence
But the rumours and gossip
That I'm not the only one
Could have been the only thing to save me
Yet no one came forward
To take a stand
And my voice was weaker than the cry our voices could have been together
So I'm just another story for the next girl to hear
I'm just another reason for her voice to be weaker

Meanwhile he gets promotions
And climbs higher up the ladder
It's called social capital
These people know people
Like the ones you grieve to
And forms of complaint go missing as easily as the people
They can and will make you non-existent

The silent creak of the small blood vessels Closing in on themselves
Restless in my scarred hands
Killing me silently

The freezing cold silence washes over me
The stillness unbroken
But for the steam rising,
This tea dying,
To warm me in a zero sum game,
wishing,
To reach the moon through miles of cool air

But
falling
  from
    this
     still
      tree,

Holding me out,
offering me to this starry sky,
Holding me out,
far from this cliff
High above shallow river water and muddy banks.

I sit here in this cradle,
Finally alone again,
without attachments
Finally myself again,
lighting a cigarette
to clear the silence,
to ward off the cold...

And as this smoke
Fills my head
Warms my chest

My heartbeat fades from my ears
Hearing unwarranted storms in the silence
Born from the swirling smoke in my thoughts
I think,
'Who am I now that I am myself again?'