AllAtOnce

AllAtOnce Jun 2015

I can't find myself anymore
I was so rooted in what you thought of me
What am I supposed to so when nothing was ever real
Not in word or in deed
If it were January I would have texted you song lyrics
"I bet at this time of night you're still up"
But I wouldn't know if you are anymore
Funny how, if it were January, I would've called it love
Where do I go from here
It's too late for thoughts like this
You went to bed hours ago
And if it were January I would have wasted an 11:11 wish
What do you want me to say
I can barely be in the same room, inside or out
Everything is the same but everything is different now
There's moretouching moreglances moreshouts
I just want to close my eyes
Why can't I fall asleep
If it were January I would have told you to stop dreaming of me

#january

AllAtOnce Jun 2015

Nothing's fair in love and war

Two years ago I believed I had time
I believed that somehow, you'd be mine
I told you we had time
(I told you to be patient)
I told you you'd be mine
(I told you to be fine)
A year ago I believed we would be okay
I believed that you would stay
I told you we were okay
(I told you to be balanced)
I told you to stay
(I told you to be kind)
I told you
I told you
I told you
Yesterday I realized that time was relative
I realized that I don't know what I did
I didn't tell you time was relative
(And now all your love is wasted)
I didn't tell you I don't know what I did
(Then who the hell am I?)
I didn't tell you
I couldn't tell you
I wouldn't tell you
So let me tell you, love never lasts the year
No matter how much you laugh or the pools of tears
So let me tell you, I don't know what happened here
But I thought that I could live without a fear

(Skinny love-Birdy)

AllAtOnce May 2015

Postcards

He walks up to her
I can feel the beating of her heart
As he walks away I hand her a postcard
One that says he will tear her apart
He smiles and bats his eyes at her
She laughs as she hands him her phone
As he walks away I hand her a postcard
And it says that one day he'll laugh with her and one day he won't
He tells her a story characterized by the lights in his eyes
She is completely lost in his being
As he walks away I hand her a postcard
Saying that he isn't worth all of her feelings
And as he turns a blind eye to her
But she's still in love with him, though
I'll hand her a postcard
One that says I told you so

Someone just needs to follow him around and warn us all that somehow, to some degree, he will break our hearts.

#purple #postcards

AllAtOnce May 2015

What has education come to?

My freshman year I learned
Not to love people who aren't worth your time
No matter how strong you are
Everything will not be just fine

My sophomore year I learned
Not to let people push you around
But it's okay to fade away a little
To blend in with the crowd

My junior year I learned
That no one can tell you to change
Not your laughter, your joy, or your pain
I learned that nothing is really as it seems
And no one seems to like it when I'm actually me

Maybe senior year I'll learn something else
Maybe I'll learn to be myself

AllAtOnce May 2015

dreamscapes

i weave my hands through a spider silk dress
as the scent of new leather calms my senses
i look over to see a familiar mop of brown hair
and being to wonder what i'm doing there
darkness is falling and the violets outside are glowing
i look up and at the same time, it's snowing
nothin can really be what it seems
and i begin to wonder if its all just a dream
he starts up the car and shoots me a half smile
switching on the radio for a while
soft melodies drift through the car and i'm tempted to sing
and just as my favorite song comes on, it brings on a change of scene
the sheets are cotton but i'm wearing lace
and i can't see anything outside of his face
i never really thought something like this could be
i never thought he could love someone like me
after a moment, everything changes again
different from what others have been
he pulls out a chair and helps me in
and i thank him for his kindness with a grin
the lights from the fireflies are dimming over time
we sit there breathing hope and drinking wine
he leans in and touches my lips with his
i almost pull back from the surprise it is
everything melts into darkness as my eyes open and for the first time
i wonder what it would be like if he was mine
but after all it was just a dream
and didn't mean anything
i could smell his cologne hanging in the air
none of this is fair
because i just want to go back to sleep

AllAtOnce May 2015

The Production

Sometimes we're all just a tangled mess of anxieties and hearts
Wandering around the script in search of a good part
But words are hard and some of us have stage fright
The sounds are too loud and the lights are too bright
So you collapse under the pressure and blood is spilling from your veins
All in search of putting some good to your name