My madness is my singularity
my endless tears and sparks
are breaking me apart

This body can only take so much
this my nest of an unfortunate
this vessel called me

My man machine attitude
the robot within me
this sensitive creative me

May I sing words of wisdom
put my heart on a plate
my gift to you is my art.

By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris

Who knew gold would grow
On green stalks
If left alone in the yard.
Old farm house
Abandoned 60 years


A wobbling car pulls in the driveway,
Lights blazing into the house.
She’s inside knitting,
Kids asleep on the floor.
I stagger in, my demons on my breath
Around my head, in the passenger seat
She starts yelling and tearing,
Spit flecking off her lips.


Covers pulled up to our chins
Waiting for the storm to pass.
Like it passes every night.


He comes in,
Eyes cut out of granite


Ruts in the yard,
Red dust in the air.
My god, my god,
What have I done?


Mom?
Dad?
Mom?

If you get home before me
Don’t go in the kitchen.
I left an awful mess.

Floor matted with hair
Dye stains in the sink
Don’t go in the kitchen
I left a terrible mess

I’ll be back in a minute;
I’ve just left for the cleaners
Let’s go to the theatre tonight
The kitchen can wait

Leave the candles burning
Put on your fur coat
Let’s take in a show
And never come back

There are no ways to safeword out of this life.
I know, I’ve tried them all.
Elephant, apple, Alaska, amen.
Tried screaming anything into the pillow my face is pushed down into,
Whiskey, tango, foxtrot, stop
Exhausted my vocabulary against the blanket my fists are balled into fists against,
Anything to make the beatings stop
But they just
Keep
Coming.
In ****, having a safeword is like wearing a seatbelt.
There are rules about having one
And the ones who choose to do without
Are taking risks.
We are born without lifejackets, without seatbelts and safecut scissors
Without breakaway glass or rubberized mats
Without any way to make the world slow down
Let us catch our breath,
And jump back in.
There are no hard limits in the real world.
So we bite into our gags and wait for the session to end.
Elephant, apple, Alaska, amen.

If I was you I'd stand down
come against me then bow as you do jester
oh if you think hurt will gain you respect
it only shows the evil you reflect

If I had such wicked thoughts
I would break that dark place
I would love to show you light
yet I am told you are not worthy

So drink the blood of the chosen few
know that your idiotic ways mean nothing
so stomp a stamp childish demands
but know you are just a monkey, so throw **** at me

When it comes down to the line
you die and I will be there to help you
back to where you had come
back to your bastion of *******

By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris