Bury me with my poppy.
My greatest memory; my simple joy.

Spring time brings brightness--
colors other than white.
A flushed landscape from

stamen performing as paint;
replicating a sleepy orange
yellow, green, red

I contemplate picking the poppy
to keep for myself.

Life feels large
like the sparkling lake--
that cold sunny hour when you sat
by a fire bordered by icy rocks.
The earth sheltered in poppies.

We all expect moments without an end.
Post-bloom petals fall flat before falling away.

Miracles can be a curse or a blessing,
brave or cowardly,
Swallowing up certainty.

Poppy tears
slowly release memories--
a crisp deliberate euphoria.

I leave behind the orange flower.
Appreciation is not lost.

I move across the dance floor, a magnetic attraction to the man on the opposite side of the room.
He pulls me, he pushes me, he moves me with his stare. I'm crushed by the weight of his glare,
Yet it feels so right; I'm forced to call his attention. Dare I ask him to dance?  
His answer is a tremendous weight lifted off my chest.  I breathe and sway along with him,
While his eyes never disconnect with mine.  The music fades away, I'm left with the thump of my heart,
He hears mine and I hear his.  Mine beats with a steady, ready note; His, like the future is unpredictable.
He intrigues me, I'm more than eager to know him from the inside out.
I take a step closer, he follows my lead. Next, it will be his turn to show me the way.  
Do I trust he won't lead me to a dark place?
His smile glows and lights our path, we travel towards ideas and laughs.
The sensation he shares with me takes a voyage through my body and carries on to his.
The temptation is mutual, but is the intention the same?
Until I find out, the spark stays a flame.

Somehow,
there was no longer enough room for the emptiness inside me.
Pure desperation to escape the void pushed me through the only door I knew to lead me outside.
I walked, I stumbled, through clusters of stray leaves that crunched beneath my bare feet.
I inhaled the brisk fall air that numbed my toes though what I wished it'd do was numb my memories.
and then I ran; passion for escape swelling up like the thunderclouds above me
until the rain breaks through and begins falling upon my face.
The rain drops feel like truth washing the lies away.
The water floods me like the realization that  maybe I'm not running away.
Maybe I'm not looking for to escape the emptiness.
Maybe I'm searching for cover; maybe, I'm simply searching to fill it with you.

When I drank from your cup
I did not know it was poison
An incurable liquid
That infected my blood
And flowed through my body
Until it devoured my heart
And now you tell me I'm cold
And you tell me I'm bitter
How do I stop when you haunt my every thought
And I've tried to drain the poison from my veins
But it pains me,
it stains my skin,
And I am ashamed
That when others see it 
They'll know I'm a fake
They'll know I've been loving you
This whole **** time.

The scary thing about dating is that you want something so badly,
Then when you get it you're confused.
See you want forever but the thought of forever freaks you out.

You can imagine being married, spending time together but mostly you wonder what happens when it's over.
You can't think of starting over without them, of forgetting them,
Of learning to be yourself again without filling your hours with them.

We imagine a relationship as a fairytale thing where you are together, understand each other.
The kind of love you find exactly when you need it and it wraps around you like a blanket and keeps you content.  
Instead the right person could come at the wrong time and we question whether they are the one.
You question if the timing really is the problem or if something is wrong with you for looking a gift horse in the mouth.

You want to talk for hours and not get bored but instead you feel self conscious,
Like maybe you're not that interesting.
You want to be all over each other but instead you fight about everything.
You think it will be ok but it gets worse and scares you.
You wonder if you are wrong for
each other.

He said he would love you and wanted to have a future with you. But you felt smothered like maybe he wanted someone available and not who you were.

Your fear magnifies into paranoia. What if it isn't enough? This love you thought would carry you through everything and suddenly its a void.
You need him and you wonder if he would understand if you told him.

And you begin to think that maybe its you who is messed up. You want too much too soon, you're too afraid to be happy.

Maybe it's time to let go of all that and let him love you. You can't plan falling in love.