I finally Got what I wanted
I never needed it in the first place
I dOn't even want it
Just take it back
I unDerstand that I don't need you to live anymore

you left it on my desk
i only read the first line
"im so sorry"

it was then i knew
what you meant

her fist was on my jaw
like a cold wind on the face
sharp and burning

i dropped the note
now i know why
why you made me promise
not to fight

it was hard
i knew i could ****
i knew it would **** you too

and for that
Im the one who is sorry

one every 17
84.7 in a day
30,938 in a year

never in the media
the words never published
the scars never seen

its like being stalked like a ******
waiting for your moment of weakness
waiting to make you 1 out of 17

i wish you would just come over
no talking
just lay with me

i guess it is too much to ask

Last night, my best friends saved my life. And all I can say is Thank You.

they say silence kills, but i think that it is the people who choose to stay silent are the real killers. they are all silent, in a room full of my screams. choosing not to hear them

Am I lying to myself
Is this all just a joke
everyone says it is

Do you even care
if you did
would you show it

people think we are
but do you
do i

i don't know what i think anymore
im not nieve
im not dumb

but the way they say you look at me
means 100 things
stop looking and talk to me
before i believe the lies and leave for good

it is always the opposite
dessert before dinner
loss before love

im in the same room
with a different story

no pictures
no life before
its as of I’m already gone

they live as  if I’m dead
dead to them anyway
they don’t know about the blade
they don’t know about him, no one does

ill keep it that way
before I just
choose to be gone and forgotten

its like a bunch of train tracks
on the body
that exploded into a pile
of scars that never move

the cars that go over it never even think twice
of the people that have followed this track
the blood that was spilled  

the now dry blood that stays there
waiting to be cleaned
waiting to be seen

4 people
3 stories
2 sides
1 fight

i told you not to
you said you promised

what does it sound like
that feeling of helplessness
fatih falling to the ground
all hope
lost at sea
past thoughts floating around

you can’t say things will never change
your emotions change like the tides
fast and predictable

the footprints tell all
each step making an imprint on my heart
more like a dent
a dent that will never fade
like the seasons
just keep coming back

its unstoppable
a love that was never right
a tide that came to close to pulling me in
underwater

it was never meant to happen
we were so strong
my anchor

but my anchor is now underwater
too deep to save
to rusted to recover
just laying at the bottom of the uncharted sea

Just look
Don’t even think
One look to take my breath away
One moment to change everything

You act as if it its not working
That I’m not falling off the cliff
The cliff that you walked me up to
The one moment you decided for me

Your job was to protect me
Not help me fall
into failure
That we were both so afraid of
You promised

Go ahead and act
The act you put on
in front of everyone else
Be the act that I was afraid of
It wouldn’t phase me in the end
and you knew it

The times you were afraid to move
Feet pinned to the ground
Mouth sewn shut
Like a doll
No emotion at all

I knew your thoughts
Every word
Every action
Every emotion
Like a billboard your face said it all

Told me everything I needed to know
Just to walk off the cliff
The cliff you built for me
The one you walked me to

So I'll jump
You won’t follow
No one will know why
We had it all
love

But they didn’t know
You were building me a cliff
For a year
An eternity
A cliff that I will have to face  
That I face today
And if I jump
There will be no goodbye

Just the wind in my face
Your thoughts all coming to you
Can't take it back now

Im just falling
And you will never be able to stop me