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3d · 22
untitled
Vesper 3d
i'm still in awe
that you said yes
because you
are way out of my league
lfiuhSIHER;GOIHRGIOFDGIoio im so cringy hdsoifpefuhgpeirgh
3d · 21
i wish
Vesper 3d
i wish
that i could figure it all out
that my house
didn't feel like hell
and therapy
didn't feel like a hospital
and my parents
weren't just people
Vesper 6d
real or fake?
๐ข ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ
๐šข๐š˜๐šž ๐šœ๐šŠ๐šข ๐šข๐š˜๐šž ๐š๐š˜ ๐š—๐š˜๐š ๐š”๐š—๐š˜๐š 
๐•“๐•ฆ๐•ฅ ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•’๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•๐•ช๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜
เธฟษ†โ‚ตโ‚ณษ„โ‚ดษ† ษŽร˜ษ„ โ‚ฉโ‚ณโ‚ฆโ‚ฎ โ‚ฎร˜ โ‚ฃร˜โฑคโ‚ฒษ†โ‚ฎ
ั‚ะฝั” ฯฮฑฮนะธ ั‚ะฝั”ัƒ ยขฮฑฯ…ั•ั”โˆ‚
แ—ฉแ‘Žแ—ช Iแ‘Žแ”•ไธ…แ—ดแ—ฉแ—ช
๐“น๐“พ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐”€๐“ช๐”‚
๊Œˆ๊‹Š๊‹–๊€ค๊’’ ๊€ค๊‹– ๊€ค๊Œš ๊„™๊๊‹ช๊น๊€ค๊๊‹Š
ะ”ะ˜โˆ‚ ะฃรธฯ… ะ”ฦงฦ˜ ะฃรธฯ…ะฏฦงฦŽโ„“ฦ’
โ“กโ“”โ“โ“› โ“žโ“ก โ“•โ“โ“šโ“”?
yeah ik i wrote 2 poems in a row called real or fake AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT YOU CAN *******
6d · 33
fake or real
Vesper 6d
I CANNOT TELL
WHETHER MY PAIN IS FAKE OR REAL
ALL THEY ASK IS HOW I FEEL
I HATE MYSELF
6d · 72
dream/nightmare
Vesper 6d
its like a dream
when i cut
like a nightmare
when i leave my room
and face my parents
wondering
if they know my secrets yet
7d · 41
thin wires
Vesper 7d
i'm made of thin wires
snapping one by one
every time you tell me
that i'm not good enough
Jun 18 · 78
<3
Vesper Jun 18
<3
love like fire
you i desire
you help me through it all
Jun 14 · 32
blade
Vesper Jun 14
Children sleeping peacefully
While I sit awake
Shivering
Blood covered blade
Clutched
White knuckled
In my palm
It doesn't hurt
Anymore
So I cut deeper
Permanent scars
I hate myself
I love the pain
Jun 13 · 57
999
Vesper Jun 13
999
i cut in one spot twice
to save room
for when it hurts the most
Jun 12 · 59
parents
Vesper Jun 12
taking too much
eating too little
cutting too deep
being too shallow

i don't think
my parents will accept me
if they found out who i really am
cold blooded
heart-scarred
and frozen over
Jun 12 · 56
knowing its bad
Vesper Jun 12
I think
That you know it's bad
When your leg looks like a checkerboard
And they cut your nails short
So you can't cut yourself
Jun 12 · 210
scars
Vesper Jun 12
I slide my hand over my thigh
Feeling the scars I try to hide
And when I cut I laugh
And when I bleed I cry
I'm not ready to say goodbye
Jun 11 · 57
untitled
Vesper Jun 11
we text every day
we laugh (and we cry too)
all i can say is
thank you <3
<3
Jun 7 · 70
<3
Vesper Jun 7
<3
I wish I asked you sooner
Because now I feel complete
Jun 5 · 211
knowing nothing
Vesper Jun 5
Are you here to save me?
Or are you here to let me go
Because I don't know
Anymore
I"m done
Jun 4 · 69
Untitled
Vesper Jun 4
lied to
for eight months
we called every day
for an hour
maybe two
and i fell for you
and i thought you fell for me

but you were lying
a skillful actor
with bronze skin
that i used to yearn

you moved on
as if i was an item
sitting in a window
that you didn't want

and now you're sorry
you didn't know how to say no
to me
that's no excuse  
for blood and tears
a while ago i had an ex, and we dated for about 2 months before she broke up with me. I spent 8 months thinking that i was the ******* problem.
Jun 4 · 29
confused
Vesper Jun 4
you've crossed the threshold
put your feelings into the world
because you are so brave
braver than i'll ever be
and i'm not ready to show them
but i'm ready to show you?
Jun 4 · 72
lover
Vesper Jun 4
i'm scared
so scared
that by the time i answer
you wont like me back
it seems like love
happens in a flash
a blink of an eye
they say that i'll know the right time
is that now?
Jun 3 · 235
Subconsciousness
Vesper Jun 3
I wake up crying
Dying inside
Tell my parents that i'm ok
But i'm really not
And I hate it when they push further
Because they know that I am lying
But I need them to push me to keep me alive
And I hate the pain of the knife against my skin
But I love the punishment for my sins
I don't think that I can do this anymore
*It hurts too much to try
Jun 1 · 68
fake
Vesper Jun 1
I really loved you that time.
I really did.
And I thought you loved me back.
But then you ran off with him,
Just like all the other ones will
Jun 1 · 81
worse before better
Vesper Jun 1
they say that it gets worse before it gets better-
-and now i'm scared
because if that was bad
what could worse mean for me
May 30 · 156
Betrayal
Vesper May 30
It hurts
When I give you my feelings
And you brush them off
Like dust on your jeans
May 30 · 98
Truly Dead
Vesper May 30
No one knows what it really means to die.
What does it mean to be truly dead?
Does it mean that your heart stops beating?
Or is it when you are forgotten?
Or is it when the person inside of you is broken?
And you never cry again?
It's a shame
That everybody will forget my name
Move along with their lives
God, I'm so childish
To think I ever meant something to anybody
May 30 · 60
That Night
Vesper May 30
I don't feel pain anymore.
Not since that night-
That fateful night-
Where a boy became a man

I am no longer myself
I don't know who I am
Not since that night-
That horrible night-
Where my mind was broken

I haven't felt love
She lied, but I died
Not since that night-
That rainy night-
Where I finally broke
May 2 · 129
fallen
Vesper May 2
i was 14 days clean
before it happened again
i knew that i shouldnt
but i did it anyways

the pain has never fully left me
i dont believe it ever will
but this time
it might have been too deep

now i walk with a slight limp
cause it hurts to walk
and people
are starting to stare

ive got so many problems
so where do i start
ill just bathe in a pool of sorrow

ill do it tomorrow
Apr 15 · 80
euphoria
Vesper Apr 15
cutting
      scratching
                     deeper

euphoria
takes my body by surprise
i cant stop it
do i want to?

i have to
    before
          it
            takes
                  me
                       more
Feb 28 · 237
Sensitive
Vesper Feb 28
It feels like as soon as I say a word
It's examined
Looked over
And they find something wrong with it
Why are they all so sensitive?
Feb 6 · 248
Feelings Changing
Vesper Feb 6
I don't think
That I just like girls anymore
But I don't know what I know
I think people will find out
I think people will know
I'm very confused
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Feb 3 · 323
fucked up
Vesper Feb 3
****** up mind
****** up life
****** up world
it seems like everything is terrible nowadays
Feb 3 · 238
happy snow
Vesper Feb 3
looking out my window at night
watching the snowflakes fall like frozen tears
wiped away from a crying face

i walked outside to catch snowflakes in my mouth
happy for the first time in while
smiling- a real one this time
not just a fake upturned mouth

rushing inside to tell my sister
seeing my mom smiling
seeing my dad sleeping
i love being happy
i wish
i was happy every day
Feb 2 · 98
Untitled
Vesper Feb 2
the tears fallen create pools and lakes
shimmering blue in the new day sun
dripping from my face like rain droplets
flowing from clouds of fluff
no, i dont think this life is for me
Jan 27 · 143
Not knowing why
Vesper Jan 27
Not knowing why
I try
Just to fail again
Get back up
Get pushed down
Not knowing why
Not knowing why...
Jan 25 · 84
Untitled
Vesper Jan 25
I don't know the path to take
I don't know the people to trust
For they all seem amazing
But under all that ****
They're all just Ghosts

They leave me when I most need it
I should have seen right through them
I don't know how I didn't see
The Ghosts

Even when I t'was younger
I never could have been more fonder
Of the Ghosts

Growing up I should have seen
The Ghosts
singing poems ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Vesper Jan 25
I have no words
For the fallen

I have no feelings
For the broken

For the fallen made others fall

And the broken made others broke

So when their crescent shine
Comes to a stop
The past fallen and broken on top
I was singing as i wrote this lol
Jan 23 · 1.3k
Fat
Vesper Jan 23
Fat
Sitting
Crying
Wishing less
Wanting more
I can't hide myself anymore
The sweatshirts too small
My body too big

Wishing the hurtful words would stop
Not just from you but me
I feel as if I'm going to pop

Skipping meals
Drinking soda
Eating salad
Having dessert

I tell myself that they don't notice
But I think they do
Jan 23 · 135
Bigger and Bigger
Vesper Jan 23
I cannot stop myself from giving in
To chocolates, to candies
And I just get bigger and bigger
"One more piece"
I tell myself
Jan 21 · 113
Believe in something
Vesper Jan 21
I have always wondered where we all came from.
Where we all were, before the big bang.
Such a slim chance, that we're all here today.
So here I think
I don't believe in god-
No-
I believe in something
Jan 21 · 162
Bad Poetry
Vesper Jan 21
I can't write poetry.
I want to write powerful things-
-But I cant.
I want people to see my poems-
-But they don't
I want to be okay without the affirmation of other people-
-But I'm not
And I can't understand
Why the last lines never come to me
Why I can't think of a powerful ending
I just can't
Write
Poetry
ik this aint gettin nothing either- ๐Ÿฅฒ
Jan 20 · 152
Depression
Vesper Jan 20
Depression, a multifaceted enigma, seeps into the crevices of existence, casting a shadow that lingers and weaves its intricate patterns within the mind. It's not merely a fleeting sadness but a persistent echo, resonating in the silent chambers of the heart, altering the very fabric of daily life. This condition, a complex interplay of genetics, environment, and experience, manifests uniquely in each soul, a tapestry woven with threads of emptiness, hopelessness, and disinterest in once-cherished pursuits.

The emotional toll of depression is profound, a heavy cloak that envelops the spirit, transforming joy into a distant memory. The world, once vibrant, now appears through a grayscale lens, where every breath feels burdensome, every step unsteady. Faces of loved ones blur, and the comfort of sleep is replaced by a haunting dread. The mind becomes a labyrinth, a maze of twisted paths leading to rooms where sorrow bathes, and hope flickers faintly like a distant star.

In the depths of this silent struggle, the body bears witness to the mind's turmoil. Chronic pain, digestive woes, and somatic echoes of the unseen battle further complicate the journey. Depression's presence is a whisper, a constant companion that isolates and alienates, feeding on societal stigma and misconceptions. The silent scream of the soul remains unheard, as the weight of judgment and misunderstanding stifles cries for help.

The causes of this somber state are as varied as the individuals it touches. Biological factors, intricate dances of neurochemicals, and hereditary shadows intertwine with psychological scars and environmental trials. Early traumas, chronic stress, and the harsh whispers of self-doubt blend into a symphony of despair. Yet, within this desolation lies a resilience, a glimmer of light that refuses to be extinguished.

The path to healing is a mosaic of therapies and treatments, a delicate balance of cognitive restructuring and chemical support. Medication, a balm for neurochemical storms, accompanies the guiding hand of therapy. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), a beacon in the darkness, helps to unweave negative thought patterns, offering new perspectives and hope. Lifestyle changes, like threads of gold, weave through the tapestry, adding strength to the fabric of daily life.

Social support, a lifeline, anchors the soul amidst the tempest. Friends, family, and support groups offer solace, understanding, and a sense of belonging. The journey is long and winding, marked by relapses and remissions, but hope remains a steadfast companion. Public health initiatives, advocacy, and open conversations about mental health shine a light on the path ahead, challenging stigma and promoting understanding.

Living with depression is an ongoing journey, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It requires patience, compassion, and continual self-awareness. Each step, though tremulous, is a testament to strength and courage. Advocacy and education play crucial roles in fostering a culture of empathy, breaking down barriers, and ensuring that no one faces this journey alone.

In the vast expanse of the human experience, depression is a deeply complex and multifaceted condition. Its shadows touch every aspect of life, but within the darkness, the dawn awaits. With comprehensive care, support, and awareness, individuals can navigate the labyrinth of depression and emerge into the light, finding hope and healing in the embrace of understanding and compassion.
Living with depression *****. Especially in your younger life. Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with depression. This has affected my life in so many ways, but I am pushing through it, and almost done with my process! Wish me luck! (this has been in progress for a while, and yes i did use some ai to help me find nice words, but just wanted to put it out there. (why does the ai thing say 77.4 ai ***))
Jan 20 · 104
Untitled
Vesper Jan 20
Who are we?
We are children of god!
He created us all!
The people with religions have answers
So why don't I?

Who are we?
We are the spirits of the earth!
Treat the world like you would treat your wife!
The environmentalists have answers
So why don't I?

Mabye
We're just
People?
Jan 20 · 296
1's and 2's
Vesper Jan 20
One is two
Three is four
And out the door I go
Before the low
I'll play a show
For you to laugh some more
little poem i came up with in my head (:
Jan 18 · 121
Untitled
Vesper Jan 18
You aren't the same
As you were
When we were kids

You aren't the same
Because when I saw you with her
You were different

So many things I want to say to you
Before you drift away
Like leaves in the wind

You left me on read again
Are you okay?
Is it that girl?
What happened to you?

Fifty-four calls
Thirty-six texts
You might have given up
But I haven't
Because I know that you
Are still that same little boy
Playing in the water
With me

And just like that
You're gone
Didn't even have the chance to say goodbye
I saw the news
That smiling face
Wish I could have seen it
One
Last..
Time....
Jan 18 · 85
Nothing
Vesper Jan 18
Please let me go
I want to see my family
My friends
My people
But I know as soon as I leave
I'll go back to my room
And cry again

Why can't I ******* do this
I know I can
I know I can
But I never do it

My father tells me
That the answer is to
"Just do it"
But I want an easier way
I don't understand
Why they never
Understand

Maybe I'm the problem
The one who doesn't understand
The one who never cared
About other peoples feelings
I've been called a sociopath
A *******
But I don't think I am
Am I?

I don't want to be nothing
I don't want to leave
Maybe it's better
If the masochistic sociopathic depressed sad angry nobody leaves.
Jan 18 · 99
472
Vesper Jan 18
472
There are times in stories
Where you think the story aught to end
But it don't
Sometimes I can relate that to poetry
Where the poem should end
Sound better that way
But I don't
Stop
Writing
Jan 18 · 105
Wishing
Vesper Jan 18
Wishing the voices would stop
Wishing the matrix to stop calling
Wishing to die-
But then come back
And do it all again
Vesper Jan 18
Will there ever be a day?
Where I do not live in fear?
Of your constant watch?

Will there ever be a day?
Where I find real love?
For more than a minute?

Will there ever be a day?
Where the shadows stop lurking?
Where the voices stop talking?

Will there ever be a day?
Where I figure this out?
Where I can fall down and rest?

Will there ever be a day?
Where I am truly alone?

Sometimes it feels
Like the days have passed
Slower and Slower
Faster and Faster
It feels like the days I aught for
Are already gone
Just a memory
Floating in the wind

So I keep wondering...
Will there ever be a day?
Jan 18 · 103
Snake-Like
Vesper Jan 18
You've got fangs
That sink into the skins of men
Poisoning them and thinking they really are someone
You've got scales
Slimy and Rigid
Ugly and Disgusting
You've got yellow eyes
Piercing gaze
Striking fear into the hearts of men
You're snake-like
You belong in a cage
To be laughed at
To be made faces at
YOU ARE A SNAKE
Jan 16 · 123
'Friends'
Vesper Jan 16
I thought I had lots of friends
But they were friends
Just not real ones

I tried to confide in one that I really trusted
Just water off a ducks back
I almost cried at another
'Dude. Stop crying.'

Back then I wished
To have more friends
I guess I wish they were real
Jan 16 · 96
Ups and Downs
Vesper Jan 16
Sometimes
We feel like falling down
Feel like screaming
Like crying
Like giving up

What's the point of life?
If it was all ups?
And no downs?

I bet it would be boring
I bet it would be sad
If there is no challenges in life
How are you supposed to grow?

That's the truth
We wouldn't grow
Become spoiled
Wanting more
What a sad life it would be
Without the Ups and Downs
Jan 16 · 109
712
Vesper Jan 16
712
What if you died instead
What if you cried instead
What if I was the one who lied
What if my wounds dried
What if you didn't have black eyes
I wish I hadn't said so many 'whys'
Now it's your turn to say the final 'goodbye'
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