Alone
That's how I feel very often
Sitting here on my own 
Til the day I'm in my coffin 
Double crossers run they mouth more than water in a faucet
And these ratchet *** hoes only want what's in my pocket 
Foreal 
All these fake *** ****** claiming they yo friend
But in the end everybody know its just pretend 
Unlike the demons that I see in every empty room
And the reasons why the world is stressed from work and shrooms
Every season 50 people on Milwaukee news
Dying cuz they tryna find a way to get around the rules
And it's funny
Well it's really kinda stunning
Cuz they tryna make that money
To see they kids make it out of school
Now ig they'll never see that day. 
Why ?
Cuz they died tryna get paid. 
Wow. 
They lived for the same thing they died for. 
Blood drips and now they the one that millions cry for. 
But last week he was knocking on every single door
Asking for donations for his child and nothing more
But they snickered and lied on they doorstand 
And now they sniffle and cry for this poor man
The three types of people that I mentioned before
Are the same people behind all those knocked doors 
The double crossers were friends that wanted new friends
The ratchet *** was his unsupportive girlfriend
The fake guy
Was every person that cried
When they found out that he died 
But mocked him while he was alive
I don't want those kind of people around me
That's why I claim my loneliness so proudly 
That's why I'm lonely in this world with no poise
Yes I'm alone. But loneliness is my choice.

Maybe I've become to attached Maybe I fell for u to hard
Maybe I'm just overreacting
Or maybe the spark is gone
I've been thinking lately
Maybe I whine to much
Maybe I'm just a loser
Maybe her love for me is gone
I could just be overreacting
But all the signs lead to this
Maybe she just doesn't want this
What could I be doing wrong
Maybe I love her to much
Maybe I annoy her
Or maybe there's someone else..

Idk maybe I should end it
Before my heart is broken
Maybe this is just argument
But how do I know
She says jokes to play with me
But what if their real
What if she thinks I'm soft
What if she thinks I'm small
What if she thinks I'm just another boy
But she'll know I've been all in
Since day 1
She'll know that I love her
She'll know that she's my world
She'll know that she's my favorite girl

This more then me just venting this is me pouring my heart to person who I don't know if they care anymore?

So I wanna hear it from your lips
I wanna hear u say it in my ear
I wanna hear u say it to ur mom
I wanna hear u say it to a friend
I wanna hear u say it to the world

That you love me and you'll never put someone above

I want you to be all in
I want you to show me that your foreal
I want you to prove to me that im yours
I want you to say to me that I'm your world

You know I sound like a ***** typing this but I don't care
Only a real man can show his feelings to a girl
Only real man can say he loves his girl  
Only real man can shout that he loves Reina Marie

So can u tell me do u love me ?

I'm a nice person to talk to. I respect everyone and everything. May don't like being in a room with three or more people, makes me feel trapped. Got no enemies, just friends, or I don't know if you can even call them friends, their people I know but don't talk to.

I will try tell you people a bit about me and area. I live in Canada, Saskatchewan. In a reserve called James Smith, this is home in this village. Not much to do here. I got both my parents, but my dad wants to run away from us, he's stuck in a old folks home for the old and disabled, my dad aint that old. He needs one of his daughters with him, I'm the only one that's still young and free, the other two sisters of mine they're struggling for a home for their little families. I  love my dad for who he is, don't get to see him much though. My mum, i ran away from her once or more. I'm mum's babygirl, I dont think I will leave her again cause it hurted the both of us. Theres just something different between my mum and I. She knows I love her though, she's just as bored as I am.

My two sisters, they both live in this village, Genevieve is having a rough time with her boyfriend, at least she won't ever leave her two kids, Dante and Danica. Not much to say about Gen, she is the oldest, she's a good sister. She bites sometimes, nibbles on my nerves. Ha!

Cassandra, my sister she has two sons, Jathan and Nickolas, she's going to school. She's trying to move away from our village and get a life, I might seem funny saying it that way" get a life" but foreal people here don't do anything cause most of them quit school and got no carreer, just cheap jobs that's something though.

My little brother Joey, I try look out for him, only bro I got. There's two ways to say Moostoos, there's Moostoos and mostos. Moostoos is my dad's last name, and mostos stands for cow in Cree. I'm 100% Cree, full blooded First Nations Cree Indian. Being native is like we can live on welfare and get a lot free. I'm only living on welfare cause I'm stuck till I graduate so if I want to get out of here I got to finish school, nother two and a half years till then.

My past bothers me a whole lot, but I am managing it, people thought I lost my mind when I went suicidal a few times. I will be ok. I tell everybody to be ok. My family knows I'm shy, I'm not afraid, I'm just not use to being around loud people. I love to laugh and smile a lot, it hides my sadness, depression and all that. I nearly forgot what its like to laugh hard, I got no one to laugh with and be weird, just my sister Gen, but I rarely see her.

My goal is to be around people more often, made that up as I am thinking of random stuff I like about this place. Pp.s I really really have a big heart for animals. I try my hardest to sound like I care about other people, I must seem very nice.

Got to love art, books, and poetry. Only if I was as good as you's at poetry and stuff. So have yourself a good day or night. Take Care out their. Ta ta!

When it's real then it's real not fake,
If you love me then love me cause I love you bae.
Your the only thing that's making me real
2 makes a couple so a set for me and a set for you so are we foreal?
And when we disagree it's not a diss
So agree is somewhere in this big deal.
Maybe it was a small deal,
How I tryed to change the subject and you bot the lies I was telling you.
See *** leaks but love overflows ,
I'm in your dreams but I can't get you out my mind though...

Obiter Dictum,
swollen backlash in pursuit of a belt,
momma I swear I'll never sag my pants again.

Victim of a victor system I refuse to be a victim,
I'm on the guess list of an addict refusing treatment,
allow me to use a well spoken perspective,

Death, inspire your deadliest of boom foreal weapons,
a new clear-er suggestion,
seek and destroy tested,
a radiant child radiating at his best but at best still they detest,
chop and ***** your loose or luke troop,
holy war is clocked at 12 past noon,
O biter christian,
oh lord forgive you,
seventy seven times seven,
this clearly says not for human consumption or misuse,
a door with no hinge,
a room without a view,
introducing bedlam,
hell is just a match made in heaven,
how many more words do I have to use to prove to you bloated youth,
tactically destroy any skyscraper presented over you, fa5v_O, for the truth.

I don't know what to say...

I really don't

You know how being in the middle of something is worse then being on the wrong side...
I fall on my knees every night
Every single night!
This is a poem , but this is my life
God... Jesus.... Christ! Forgive me for being that type of guy....
Who masterbates, goes for seconds, drinks twice, read little, talk right, I'm foreal these things I do despise.

What do you want me to say!
I've seen guys kiss girls ,girls  kiss guys guys on guys girls love the way she bites.
It's nasty deguisting I know right!

Then why???!!!! How did I not see this coming
I have a girl but she's in another country.

God this is not easy to deny yourself and be sacred gentle holy and light.
When you were born a sinner and coming away into your marvelous light.

LOOK You don't have to love this like this or even comment and write.
I just needed to talk to someone anybody who's listening
Your my friend.....
Right?

My best friend who I think about constantly.
My best friend who I wished to be apart of me.
My best friend who I wish and pray, To have her one day ,safe so I can see her smiles brighter then they are today.
My best friend whos pain kills me too.
My best friend who is the red to my blue.
My best friend theres no one like you,
Im stuck on you like glue,
part we might at times but Itll never end or be thru.
Cause My best friend, you are true.
My best friend, you are real.
I love my best friend, more of a man I will ever be,
bend as you might you the world will never break a woman of steel
My best friend my fortune and wealth , my queen for you i kneel.
On the foreal
Im happy phareel
My best friend, I only wish the best for you.
My bestfriend I only want you to be comfortable.
My bestfriend when I hear you cry I die inside how could any guy hurt such a free spirited butterfly.
**** got me ****** up in many ways
Wanna **** this ***** up payback is a bill the ***** didnt pay. And im all about gettin paid.
Pssh one way..
Back to a soft spot like your cheeks
My best friend I love you with all my might and will,
Your my everything,
there no other who can take your place,
not now nor ever
will there be anybody better,
never will and still till
this day , as ghost as ive become,
such a son of a gun, I **** back and fired
I dont give a ***** at everyone,
I am sorry to ever fired at you.
My boo My true friend real ***** to the end.
MY BEST FRIEND.
YOU ARE WHAT I LOOK FOR IN EVERYONE.
BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY TO EVER HAVE IT.
The chemistry that cooks and sizzle great friendships, we have it...
GREAT CONVOS AND TRUST?
between us its now a habbit.
Laughter? We made it an addiction, theres no1 like you me without life and time lacks conviction,

Its gunna get better
I will never leave
I will never retreat
When you need me
Im there believe me
Im that shadow that hugs the light to your smile
No1 else can see me.
Im the voice that hugs your opinion,
 Never wanna see you down
Never frown
Just hope in the day ill be blessed to still be around,
Everytime i look at you I thank God and nature
How could there make such a woman
So much love your signatures kisses papers.
Your "laters" are an eternity, but as soon as you show im rollin deep
Like the **** your that good thc
That sticky that breaks
Easily
Your indica sendin me to the sky high
With litterature  of your ways
Your butterfly that never had a beginning stage
You was born that way
Back in the day when your daddy made that right choice,
And your mother wow!  But you amazing.
Never phasin the problems
You always there facin them
Head on, trapt cause your headstrong
My bestfriends theres untold reasons why we get along.
Maybe your kryptonite livin three doors downs,
But i still remain strong whenver  you around,
The world stops
Cause your revolving now,
Center of my attention,
Love to hear you speak,
The way nose jiggle when you mad at me yellin,
Haha i cant be mad, you make me smile , like the sayin you got in the bag.... glad
What else i like? Rememer this a prototype,
Only shedding a glipse thoughts in my afternights.



By Deep Thought
aka Linguist Musician Aka
Emmanuel JV Hernandez

It follows me it follows me,
Why you follow me?
I can't run to fast or go to slow without it following me..
The funny thing is I should be chasing it,
I should be...
It let's  me know, it let's me know
It won't let me be...why you want me?
I can't go so high or go so low without it flying high or going deep..
And The funny thing is I should be embracing it,
I need to be....
I need you please I need you please
Please run to me.
And the funny thing became my serious refuge
When I stopped and waited for you..
I'm glad you came to join me
Because foreal I couldn't do nothing without you
Mercy...
Don't leave me don't leave me
Please I need you

I take one in the morning,
I take one at night.
Pop one, I pop twice
Poppin memories all night.
Can't move I can't feel
I think once then think twice.
Pop thoughts like "who am I"?
"Where I am? "
"That's a lot !"
*** pills for one guy,
Drinking  as it goes down
I'm so down foreal...

Dang I drop my freakin  pills,
eyes blurred so I lay still....so still
Who am I?
Where am I?
Dang I like these pills

Is that how you feel?
Is that what you mean?
Say I got you do you got me?
clingy but zealous though,
Is that what you hate?
Let's be foreal..
changing  my ways because These days you need to be deep.
Listen for giving never for keeps.
Time is borrowed
this is  not cheap.
Ask How I know though
Look at tree!
Look at nails!
Why would you think..?
Why would you speak..?
Dead men are dead
Alive is the meek..

Off of the topic come back to point,
Is that how you feel?
Is that why you speak?
Is that why you're zealous?
Is that why your clingy?
Is that why you love cause you know time is cheap?

Yes

Takes time with a wounded heart,
Cause he haven't healed.

Takes time with a broken hand,
Cause he likes to feel.

Takes time with a hurting man,
Cause he likes the pills and likes the meal.

..well I'm half the man I use to be
...well it's more then chance that's saving me.
..well I'm bad with steps when I walk for me.

Takes time with a healing man,
Well his hand is healed.

Takes time with a wounded heart,
Well he loves foreal.

Takes time with hurting man,
Well he holds the pill and leaves the thrill

Well I haven't been the man I use to be.

**** life forget it I'm tired of trying, I mean yeah im not perfect but im never lying life's just full of heart break and people lying and how would feel if the ones you love just started dying,i feel this pain I swear I never felt befor but now it's like I'm so lost on the outside of my house like someone locked the door **** life I'm tired of trying cause when the whole world  ends foreal who's gonna be around

I'm never gunna bother I'm never gunna text you no more..
Man foreal this is strange...this so strange..
Love me oh Love me when I'm weak.
That's my Reign What a place.....all this Shame..
I'm a Shamed...
I'm stronger then what you believe
Please don't take what you can't eat

The times we spent the time we waisted,
Was only for a Facebook accept and photos of a facelift.
I saw the smile I heard you was A-List
While I'm stuck at home still tryna sale records like craigslist.
I think about you in the watches of the night I do..
In the day time I was pondering about you.
All I want to do is be someone that they know who cares may I grow old with someone and some job with History that scared to loose this man..
Do anybody want me? I'm losing hope no foreal not on you but in me my friend.
My friends don't even know about this page In losing them one by one I can see it in there face.
I've notice the history time can make it's awsome if were trying to be with no mistakes there all lies how far will you make the heavens fake?

There is someone inside of me.
Soaking up Gin.
Basking in sin.
Believe me
it's not I that's living this life.
And i think i had a one-night-kiss.
It was glorious.
There i was sat in his car,
Listening to Nina sing about sin.
Which started at my lips.
Breathing on me, kissing my cheek,
He rubbed his lips on my chin,
and tickeled them down to my neck,
Like "what the heck".
Is he doing this foreal.
Then like a theif in the night,
never to be heard from again.

Living in all these hotels sincen 2023 Christmas eve
Makes me hate men.
Like seriously men **** their children & sometimes I hear women getting beat up. Like ***.
This one time I was was tweaking real bad but I know this was foreal this guy on the floor above our room. He beat up his gf and ***** that kid infront of her. And. Like it happened every day. That kid was crying and when room service came by he ******* that child kept he/she fukkn quiet in the bathroom.
What the **** is wrong with sick men.
I know I tweak alot but I kno it's for real **** that's going on.
Most of the time I am on one and tweaking, chilling in the bathroom all fukn night most times half the time. I hardly get outside. I'm always with myself N MY babies. I look out for my children alot. And have cameras almost in every corner in my bedrooms everywhere I went to make sure they don't open the doors and don't get touched.
*** I LOSE MY MARBLES
Some days when **** gets to me.

Change is foreal,
Love is the seal,
That locks away all the bad parts and turns them real frail,
Then turns off all the lights and gives it that blue tingle feel,
I learned how to laugh when I was happy,
Learned how to cry when I was sad,
How to be angry when I was mad,
But now that I look at you I feel bad,
Like I want to get revenge,
But since I’m so fragile,
That doesn’t seem to be apart of the plan,
Healing seems like the best bet,
Just don’t be the reason why I break,
I’d rather be alone for the time being and let alone go crazy,
Crazy? I wonder if maybe you meant that kinda love,
The Joker and Harley Quinn kind of love,
But it seems you’ve already found that type of love,
With someone new,
So I think I’ll fall back than fall through,
Cause now I think I’ll lay here and feel all kinds of shaded blue