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.
I am
Moontouched
a slight disaffection
from the real.

Yet,
in my lunar sea
a calm circulating
orbit wheels.

I am
Moontouched
an angle from
the hearts core.

Yet,
in my love fall
a slow spiral
loops playful.


© Pagan Paul (07/07/16)
Meanings: Moontouched 1) mentally ill, 2) in love.
PPx
My chill went into freeze mode
When he rolled up
Decked in his fresh, macho drip
He had that booming thunder vibe
That blew my mind

He had me swooning over him in surround sound
Slayed my gayness with one gaze
Painted my rainbow domain
In his gangsta-grade artistic style

From head to toe, his grandiosity glowed
Irresistible dopeness in platinum motion
Insurmountable sexiness
Prime-time delight
Thirst-trap temptation I couldn’t resist

He had me tipsy AF
Like thugs in the club at 2 a.m.
He was suave to the core
Gemmed-out charm
Splashiness stacked to the max
My mancrush was flashy and mad magnetic
Alpha-level attractiveness
High-octane fuel
Game-daddy enchantment
Boss-grade swag in motion

Every line, every rhyme
Every stanza was soaked
In his legendary loveliness
His monster-grade manliness
He was my poetic inspiration
My thoughts and feelings were only of him
My words lived in his sexalicious universe
All my lines, my rhymes, my flow
Was a tribute to his splashadelic appeal
His next-level manly imagic
His platinum-level handsomeness

I wrote entire stanzas just to capture
His immaculate man shine
His astonishing all-star flyness
His mesmerizing refinement

Every poem in my rainbow masterpiece
Was an unprecedented monument
To his star-grade charm
My poetry existed to treasure his stellar grandeur
To keep him close in my creative headspace

Night and day, through every season
Bound to him, bound to his premium dreaminess
Fantasy boyfriend status
My gayness was decades deep
In his drop-dead deliciousness
for anyone who’s ever tried to grieve in verse

I rose to write a grief in lines,
To measure loss in metered signs.
But syllables refused to bend,
They broke before they reached the end.

The cadence caught on silent breath,
Each pause a shadow shaped by death.
I tried to rhyme what can’t be said,
But every couplet wept instead.

The beat, once steady, now betrayed,
It staggered through the words I laid.
No stanza held the weight I bore,
Each rhythm cracked beneath the core.

I summoned metaphors for pain,
But they dissolved like morning rain.
No image could contain the ache,
The metre flinched, began to break.

I stitched a verse with trembling hands,
A dirge that no one understands.
It asked for grace I couldn’t give,
For silence I refused to live.

So here I sit, the draft half-spilled,
The rhymes unformed, the metre stilled.
It’s not a cure, it’s not a balm,
It’s ritual, but not yet calm.
And grief, it seems, scans poorly in iamb.
I’m lingering in darkness, searching for a light
A calm between heartbeats, too quiet for fright.
The stars have turned inward, the moon hides her face,
And silence drips slowly through time’s empty space.

My hands reach through shadows, unsure what they seek,
A lantern of memory? A voice that might speak?
Each breath is a question, each step is a prayer,
For something to shimmer, for someone to care.

And there in the corner, not calling attention,
A figure stands still in the hush of suspension.
His robe gathers dust, his sandals are worn,
But his candle burns steady, for the lost and the torn.

No sermon, no thunder, no trumpet, no might,
Just the warmth of his gaze and the gift of his light.
He doesn’t rush forward, he doesn’t demand,
But he waits with the flame cupped gently in hand.

So I linger, yes, but I do not fall,
The dark is a hallway, not the end of it all.
And somewhere ahead, past sorrow and night,
I’ll walk, not alone, toward the flicker of light.
I will live in spite:
I will be proud of life,
I will cherish the warmth
It will have many forms.
I will fight
I leave all the pain aside.

I will live in spite:
You'll find light in my eyes
And wherever it lies
It will grow and thrive.

I will live in spite
If you want to destroy me
You'll **** my body
but my spirit will be alive!

--
Ukrainian:
Я житиму назло:
пишатимусь собою,
плекатиму тепло,
що жевріє в неволі
і як би не звело
сміятимусь від болю.

Я житиму назло:
в очах цих буде світло
і де б не залягло -
там виросте й розквітне.

Я житиму назло,
захочеш мене вбити:
ти тіло умертвиш,
та дух мій буде жити!
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