The pain is gone and I feel free
No time that changes who I'll be

I think
And that's what I love to do
That it is all in my head
I blink
And I have to realise
That I was once again misled

Lonely, I am so lonely
I feel like you're leaving me behind
I never knew I could feel so strongly
But it seems you do not mind

I want to hug you, never leave you
But I guess now it will end
It doesn't matter how much of this is true
All this time, it is spent

I have to say my goodbyes
When it gets dark you can hear my cries
I miss your arms, I miss your smell
I miss your touch and how it felt

Who is the person in the mirror
Looking into her eyes makes me shiver
What kind of a world am I living in
Runs through my head when I see her grin
Is she me? Am I me? Is she she and I am I?
Do we share the same world?

Is there something waiting?
Anyone? Anything?
This feeling of fainting
A black, heavy wing

Reality or an illusion?
A dream?
Some kind of a fusion?
Is it or has it been?

I am drifting
A ship on the sea
Water uplifting
Door without key

Will it end
Or do I have to spend
More time than expected
'Till I am selected?

I am not scared
I never cared
Life will leave me heartless
Finally drowning in darkness

There's a soft feeling
Inside my heart
Never knew it's beating
Or when it start'

When you want to sing but the words are to heavy
When you want to speak but words get stuck in your throat
Then your world doesn't look wonderful, its shabby
When you look up into the sky watching butterflies
When you hear birds sing, thinking life must be wonderful
But you know it's not like that, it feels like something dies
All these things combined in your heart
Nothing to fear but it is way to dark
All these scars burned into your soul
Forming a single large mark

Sickening sweet
How you bleed
Satening my greed
The beast freed
Taking the lead
Feasting on meat
Pulsing to my heartbeat
Evaporating heat
Elation, I could weep

Living is not very encouraging
Time tends to fly away or crawl inch by inch
Clear moments are followed by worren thoughts
Where there is simple ness, complex situations hide from you
Only to jump in your face, when you thought everything went well
You are happy? Look back and you can see the drowning feeling on it's heels coming closer
If you close your eyes you can almost forget it even exists
U till you open then, ripped out of your thoughts because of a knife stabbed into your back poking out of your stomach
Be honest, it's not as if you didn't expect that to happen
Life truly isn't easy, well, nobody claimed it to be
You can cry and scream and hit and bite, pull, push
Staying alive is harder
To keep going on
To accept
To bear
It's like getting caught in a spider web, struggling to get free while only tangling oneself deeper into the web until there is no room for movement left
I believe I shall call it
Strangled by life

Sadness runs in my veins
A veil covering my body
Drowning my heart
Separating me
Burning in my lungs
Layering my eyes
Freezing my limbs
Suffocating me
From the inside out
From the outside in
The quickest way to emotional death

It smells so sweet
Just like a treat
Of cinnamon and vanilla
Gingerbread and camilla
Oranges and pine
Walnuts and lime
And don't forget the thyme
There's a bit of mint
Inside a pint
Rosemary, sage and lavender
Combined in a suspender
And just a breeze
Of anise
Some cloves and nutmeg
And last but not least
Of course, chocolate!

I guess I could say merry Christmas
It's this time of the year again
Where we wish each other some happiness
And hope there'll be snow instead of rain

Our homes will be decorated in light
With candles and greens making us smile
There will be a Christmas tree shining skin bright
So you want to sit down and gaze for a while

It smells of cinnamon, oranges and pinecone
Of baked treats, vanilla and punch
A time when nobody wants to be alone
And a shared smile can do so much

When everything is warm and comfortable
Soft music starts 5o play in the background
You know this moment is incomparable
Everyone joined together from all around

I wish I was a spider
Didn't have to be a fighter
I'd be much lighter
Giving some a frighter

I'd be quite hairy
Some might say scary
Others'd be weary
Though it's quite contrary

I'd be content
Having a friend
Who'd time to spend
And didn't pretend

I'd sit in my web
Next to the tab
Weaving my trap
Without a gap

I'd wait for prey
Bid you to stay
Each and every day
I'd pray

Wouldn't it be nice
Without the reminder
Way more kinder
If I'd only be a spider?