I grasp for you,
But if I handle you too much you dissolve.
You are far and I welcome you into me.

Your white face used to be so good to me.
Now I’m burned by your look
And fade into nothingness in your presence.

Thinking of each other is safe
As long as we don’t put too much attention there.
When we cross that line my heart is left foolish
As though I’ve broken a law or moral code.

Nothing is so sweet as when I think of you with a smile
Smiling back at me.
Was it something I did to merit your happiness?

Flesh and bone
Commitment and honor
Are all gone now.
What is left is the emptiness we show each other
And happiness for now.

I no longer long for your hand,
But long for your happiness
Even in a hug from you if you are happy.

But if you are cold today a hug will cause pain.
What did I make you think of?
Was it my insanity or jailing that you remember now?
Or was it that all the pain is gone and that you’re glad I’m no longer close?
This gladness is bitter anguish – not being liked.
But you tolerate me, something my sister and friends do as well.