I’m so scared
Am I sharing too much now
After years and years of silent doubts and fears
Am I a burden now
Could I take it back?
Now everyone knows that I’m a freak
Should I have stayed silent?
I was a fool to speak

I know others have it harder
I don’t pretend I have it worse
While for years and years my friends and peers
Have had fun and learned to talk
I buried my mind and heart so deep
That I don’t know where they are

Now I fear I’ve dug too deep
And I can’t find a way out
I’ve dug down until my fingers bled
And I sat in silence, thinking about
My stories and fantasy realms
Where are they, can I go there
Can I share a piece of me without being met with stares?

I’m choosing a career path that is destined to fail
Because I can’t even write down an idea in my mind
I feel so trapped inside this place, and I’m ready to bail
The world is going to end up gone before I get there

What can I do
I always somehow knew
But now when everyone wants to know
I have to say I don’t have a clue

People are horrid, and none of them deserve what they have
Do I deserve what I have
What do I have

Betrayal
Lies
Trust gone forever
Death
Bullying
And a bedrock tether

One by one they hurt me
Poison me with their lies
And now I cannot even trust
A single face, a disguise

Who am i
Am I talented
Not anymore
Am I confident
Not anymore
Am I empathetic
I wish I weren’t
Am I cursed
Maybe so

Am I a little coward who can’t face her problems
And needs to rely on meds
Am I worthy of a single minute with a single friend?
Keep your guard up
Don’t say a word
Maybe that will help
Maybe it will hurt you
But it won’t hurt anyone else