hate is a strong word,
so is detest
and so is loathe
they're not emotions to be planted easily

so.... why do I find myself
gathering resentment,
comparing joys and have nots,
planting them in my garden of envy
for someone unworthy of it all?

prying through the screen
bustling through naked assumptions
guilty as charged I am

my mind says do not
you'll find empty abyss
but my heart says go on,
eat the crippling doubt,
you may find the thing you were afraid to be mad about