I sat down to a puzzle
When my dog came for a nuzzle
And I gave a small scratch behind the ears
I moved on to the telly
And he lay down on my belly
And we both fell fast asleep after two beers

It seems while I was dreaming
That I heard somebody screaming
It was just an advert on tv
The dog got down real quickly
I thought he might be sickly
It turns out that he only had to ***

I went back to watch footy
And then some "sweep and sooty"
Then the wife came in and asked me where's the dog
I said he's out the back dear
All is fine, no need to fret dear
"Then why is he there chewing on a frog?"

I said I knew no reason
I didn't know frogs were in season
And I went outside to go wash out his mouth
He didn't like the feeling
In fact he was reaching for the ceiling
And that is just the time that things went south

He chose right then to *****
It came up just like a comet
The beer, a bone, and two thirds of a frog
I knew that he felt better
My dumb old Irish setter
This is just a day of living with a dog