Moments like these are the ones I wish I didn't miss.
They are the ones where my days are so
dull,
blank,
black,
that I begin to think that death may be peaceful.

The moments when I can walk into a street
without looking both ways
and not care whether I make it to the other side.

These moments strip me of all happiness,
while a void that is so suffocating
I'd rather inhale liquid nitrogen
then continue the conversation I'm in, arrives.

When I can't feel the damp ground,
leaves crunch into my hair,
or the twigs digging into my feet
while I encase a corpse I didn't get to save.

The moments when things are as black as I imagine
death is...
I miss them.
Like an old friend,
or a form fitting pair of jeans
for me to walk around in
while I begin to miss the moments I feel alive.