Maybe this time will turn out different
Running from my worst fears
All my past experiences
Problems housed between ears

I am just tired of this ****** life
Had enough of fake concern
Just cold to every watching eye
Shadow haunts everywhere I turn

I feel like darkness is chasing me
Following roads I chose to take
Burned in fire are charred footprints clear to see
Waiting for repurcussions of each mistake

How can I change the outcome?
Fear slicing right through each nerve
I yearn for happier days to come
Same love that I deserve

The hurt is supposed to decrease
Feel worse each passing week
Afraid to search for a silver lining
Rarely find and it's thin and weak

I still harbor foolish hope
Patterns not too deeply ingrained to reset
Tried erasing pain to cope
Some thoughts I can't forget

I know I need to let imperfections go
Falling headfirst into pools of sticky remorse
Love a shield to keep me dry
But there's too many puddles on my course

It seems too familiar somehow
Didn't choose a different enough route
Now old routines return with vengance
Resentment weaving it's way throughout

Scars serve as a reminder
To turn the **** around
I smile like their screaming is a dare
It's "what if?" that has me bound

A question that keeps haunting
I love to predict the best
Perhaps it's time to face the facts
This try will end like the rest