There's a feeling in my mind I can not seem to reach, a feeling filled with joy, however ringing with defeat. Sometimes it comes in waves, sometimes just a few, but the one thing I know it's comes when I'm surround by you. Growing up in a box that appears to be locked, but appearances fool you, so you'll end up being mocked. In fact, the box was wide open all along, the whole time, it's the same thing with this feeling I can't seem to find. Is it gratitude, hopelessness, happiness, or fear? What even is this feeling, is it really even here? I've sat and wondered what life would be like in a different world, another place. Because physically I've escaped you but mentally I'm still battling all the demons you've made me face. One thing I know now is that this feeling is alive, alive inside my heart, in my head, in my mind. I've endured this long enough so it's time that I confess, what you've done to my mind, it's an unruly mess.