I laugh all the time and I smile with glee, but my heart never feels truly open and free. I may look happy, and most times I am, but I can never forget the sinking feeling within my heart. It's all inside my head, the thoughts and the memories It's a mental issue, is the only conclusion I have... No matter how happy I think I am, i realize that my heart doesn't feel the same
Despite that, I'm glad I built my walls too high, too thick to penetrate Because I don't want my friends to see that, i don't want to let them know, what is constantly on my mind...
I've heard people say that I'm as simple as a book, that my walls are no more than a pitiful snow fort, and I almost laugh because they couldn't be more wrong
If my walls were so thin and so meek as to melt under the heat of the sun, I would have been figured out long ago
I feel that I am no longer able to carry my own weight whether it's the weight of my responsibilities or just myself, i'll never know I eat slower, much less than what I used too, finally becoming conscious of that weight Maybe even trying to lift my physical burden, in hopes that it will relieve my mental one
I have yet to find answers for myself, in the **** storm of my head Is it a real, mental problem? Perhaps a phase of the teenage mind? Or am I just... looking for attention...?
i was awoken from a spooky nightmare and wrote this really quick so its probably ****, i might change stuff later -ashrah