Maybe they are right,
after all.

That I am
cold,
distant,
self absorbed,
off in my own world,
will not deign to come down.

I have been
shaped and marred,
scarred
by forces beyond my control,
so forgive me
if I seem a little

off.

Believe me, I have tried
to change my nature –
tried to be warmer, more attentive, more involved,
but I can’t seem to help
who I am -
always off in some state of
dissociation,
never can be bothered
with reality.

Yet
if I am so cold,
why does the ocean
reach to kiss me
unbidden?

What is this pull
I seem to exert
without even trying?

I keep my distance,
keep my secrets,
my insanity
buried under scabs
of ice and rock.
If I am a liar
because of it,
so be it.

Call me what you will,
your life revolves around mine.