I wish that my parent’s actions,
weren’t always geared towards war.

I wish that they would’ve fought for themselves,
and not for what they could take from each other.

I wish that I could’ve been just a daughter,
and not a strategy.

I wish I could love myself,
so that I wasn’t so desperate for others to.
I wish I believed that love is something I deserve.

I wish my diagnoses motivated me to take better care of myself,
as opposed to leaving my fate up to natural selection.


I wish I wasn’t so OK with the notion of dying young.

I wish I could hold on to more than a mere temporary escape.

I wish for I do not have the will to do more than wish.
I wish because I have always been a fish out of water,
and yet somehow these days I can’t seem to stop drowning.