I'm looking at this blank paper
for at least half an hour
trying to put out
words
that i still haven't swallowed
but that won't come out
easily
as when i tried to speak with him
a few hours ago
and couldn't help
but yell at his
confused words
like an angry mother
who yells at her child
when they make mistakes
but you didn't
and now i'm staring at
this blank piece of
paper
trying to
apologize
for being stupid
and childish
like a kid
that makes mistakes over and over
and never stops
until they are left alone
in a room
grounded
lonely
mad
so they will think about
what they've done
and this blank piece of paper
feels like the corner
of a white room
and i'm locked up
and i can't speak
with you
because you're not here
to listen
to watch
to see me
crawling upon my own sharp words
and hurting myself
so i won't let them out again
so easily
anytime soon.