if you are the first boy to love me* say, i am sorry you didn’t have anyone there when you were young. that the words you always needed to hear were so long in coming. i don’t believe no one wanted to hold you in their arms before, i bet they loved you but couldn’t show it. like you made their breath catch so they left your hands shaking, afraid to love the girl whose emotions ran deep like a well, whose heart was wide and open, who would come to know them better than themselves; afraid to let you in.

You were a girl they weren’t ready for but I, I will not be the same kind of foolish. I’ve been wanting to give you roses for the day you turned sixteen, but I can’t. Maybe in another life if I will be so blessed, younger we will meet again. For now instead I will plant you a whole garden. Am I a godsend? Was I what He intended for you? I have no idea but, you have been alone for so long it’s all your heart remembers. I know you are used to it, but I want to love you, and I will, for as long as you will let me. More than ‘i love you’, you are my life now, and i will plant new flowers every day, and we will water them together.